Married Single Mom: When You’re Married but Doing It All Alone

What does it mean to feel like a single mom when you're still married? In this episode of She’s Not Done, Kouelee and Andrea unpack the term “married single mom” and the complicated reality behind it. Kouelee shares that even in her marriage today, there are times when she's handling the kids alone because of her husband's work schedule. But she also remembers a very different period in her marriage—one filled with resentment because she felt like she had signed up for a partnership and wasn't getting one. Andrea looks back on her own marriage and remembers being married on paper while handling much of life alone: parenting, decisions, functions, holidays and everyday responsibilities. Eventually, that loneliness led to a painful realization: “If I'm already doing everything alone, I may as well be alone.” But does having to parent alone sometimes actually make someone a “married single mom”? And is using the term unfair to women who are truly single parents? They discuss the difference between a partner who can't be there because of work or circumstances and a partner who repeatedly chooses not to show up. They also talk about expectations, resentment, the mental load, broken promises and what happens when you've communicated your needs over and over but nothing changes. The conversation then goes deeper into what years of doing everything yourself can do to you—even after the relationship changes. Andrea shares how difficult it has become to trust that someone else will actually follow through, while Kouelee talks about how her own marriage has improved through communication, accountability and both partners being willing to change. Because a healthy marriage isn't one without problems. It's one where both people are willing to do something about them. And sometimes the loneliest place isn't actually being alone. It's feeling alone while someone is sitting right beside you. 00:00 What Is a Married Single Mom? 02:30 Married but Feeling Alone 05:00 “I May as Well Be Alone” 07:30 Parenting Alone vs. No Partnership 10:00 Is Marriage Supposed to Be Hard? 12:30 What Makes a Marriage Healthy? 15:00 Communication & Conflict 17:30 When Your Partner Actually Listens 20:00 “I’ll Just Do It Myself” 22:00 Trust After Being Let Down 24:00 Dads Aren’t “Helping” 26:00 When Work Affects the Partnership 28:00 When Feeling Alone Becomes a Warning Sign 29:30 You’re Not Alone Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio