Ep 36 - "I Abandoned Myself": Monika Molander on High Achievement, Trauma & Healing

Monika Molander spent three decades trying to earn love through achievement: top universities, a career at Google and Meta, and relentless perfectionism. From the outside, an impressive life. On the inside, an unshakeable belief that she still wasn't enough. In this episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie talks to Monika, self-leadership and embodiment coach and survivor, about the eating disorder she developed as a teenager, the sexual abuse she experienced while living abroad, the years she spent unable to leave a damaging relationship dynamic, and the depression that finally brought everything to a halt. And about the retreat in Costa Rica that changed everything. Monika's message: you cannot think your way out of shame. Healing comes through self-discovery, through being witnessed in your story, and through understanding that the shame we carry is never just ours. Expect a warm, deeply honest conversation about perfectionism, belonging, generational trauma, and what it really means to stop performing for love and start living from it. 00:00 Content Warning 01:03 Meet Your Host 01:36 Introducing Monika 02:39 Chapter One Costa Rica 04:18 Roots of Not Enough 06:22 Achievement as Armour 10:43 Control and Eating Disorder 13:28 Chasing Approval and Belonging 18:24 Sexual Abuse and Shame Spiral 24:09 Loss Surrender and Retreat Call 29:06 Self Love Breakthrough 34:25 Coaching and Shame Healing 39:56 Leaving Corporate to Coach 44:33 Advice for Feeling Stuck 46:50 Where to Find Monika 47:52 Remarkable Women and Closing   MONIKA MOLANDER ·      Instagram: @MonikaMolander ·      Website: TheSelfLovePath.com   UK SUPPORT SERVICES •      In an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only) •      Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral Centre •      Find an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgery •      Charities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim Support GET IN TOUCH Join the community: @StoriesWithoutShame on Instagram Sign up for the Stories Without Shame newsletter to join the movement.