Ep 37 - What Runs the World? Shame: Dr. Judith Pilla on Our Most Misunderstood Emotion

What if everything you thought you knew about shame was wrong?  In the Season 4 finale of Speak Shame, Dr Connie is joined by Dr. Judith Pilla – psychotherapist, shame researcher, and author of How Shame Runs the World – for a conversation that will change how you think about one of our most powerful and least understood emotions.  Dr. Pilla reveals why shame isn't simply a negative emotion to be eliminated. It's an evolutionary signalling system every human carries. She breaks down the crucial difference between pro-social shame (the kind that teaches useful lessons) and corrosive shame (the kind that only hurts) and why understanding that difference is the key to finally healing.  Expect an eye-opening conversation covering perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing, the shame machine of social media, projection, discrimination, and why 90% of the shame we carry was never ours to begin with.  If shame has been silencing you, this episode is for you.  00:00 Content Warning 00:13 Show Intro 01:24 Meet Dr Judith Pilla 02:08 What Shame Is 03:37 Shame Versus Guilt 06:44 How Shame Shows Up 08:58 Why She Wrote It 13:06 Why Shame Runs World 13:59 Pro Social Shame 17:23 Corrosive Shame 19:15 Internalised Messages 23:28 Healing Shame Basics 26:03 Use It Then Lose It 28:06 Finding Safe People 33:56 Gender and Shame 36:31 Perfectionism and Procrastination 41:05 Masks and Social Media 44:24 Projection and Dumping Shame 46:41 What to Do Today 49:30 Inspirational woman: Gisèle Pelicot 52:54 Closing and What’s Next DR. JUDITH PILLA ·      Website: HowShameRunsTheWorld.com UK SUPPORT SERVICES •      In an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only) •      Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral Centre •      Find an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgery •      Charities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim Support GET IN TOUCH Join the community: @StoriesWithoutShame on Instagram Sign up for the Stories Without Shame newsletter to join the movement.