Turning 40 and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuck

Zoey Charif describes how a painful breakup in her early thirties forced her to confront her lack of self-worth and the relationship patterns she had repeated for years. Growing up across continents, Zoey was no stranger to change, but this moment required a different kind of transition: an internal one. By examining her values and the beliefs guiding her choices, she began rebuilding her life in a way that finally felt aligned. Zoey and Stephanie explore self-awareness, authenticity, and the freedom that comes when you stop living by what life “should” look like and start choosing what actually fits you. Guest Bio Zoey Charif isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s providing a blueprint for it. As the author of “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated”, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships. Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, Canada, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework isn’t just theoretical, it’s coachable, actionable, and designed to help people transform how they choose, build, and sustain relationships. Her work is a wake-up call: love isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and emotional mastery. Outside of the relationship space, Zoey is a powerhouse entrepreneur — the founder of Business Plans USA— helping startups and established businesses secure funding and scale with precision. Whether she’s helping people find aligned love or aligned success, Zoey’s mission is the same: to turn hope into mastery and potential into reality. Turning 40 and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuck Zoey Charif has spent most of her life navigating change. Born in Afghanistan and raised across multiple countries, transition has been part of her story from the beginning. But in her early thirties, after a painful breakup left her questioning her self-worth and direction, Zoey hit a personal rock bottom that forced her to look inward. Instead of continuing down the same path, she developed a framework to examine her values, rebuild her confidence, and change the patterns shaping her relationships and life. In this conversation, Zoey shares how that moment of self-reflection led to a rapid and profound shift, one that ultimately helped her create a healthier relationship, a stronger sense of identity, and a life that feels much more aligned with who she truly is. In This Episode, We Talk About How a childhood filled with constant transition shaped Zoey’s resilience and adaptability, buy ultimately affected her sense of self The breakup in her early thirties that forced her to confront her sense of self-worth and the patterns in her relationships Why many of us spend our twenties and early thirties blaming external circumstances before realizing we may be part of the pattern How small shifts in mindset, daily habits, and environment can trigger surprisingly fast personal transformation Meeting her husband at a dog park and discovering the difference between dramatic relationships and peaceful ones Letting go of comparison and embracing an unconventional life path as she approaches 40 Self-awareness can completely change the trajectory of a life. Zoey shares how recognizing her own role in repeating relationship patterns allowed her to break those cycles and create something healthier. Along the way, she and Stephanie reflect on the broader midlife transition many people experience, the shift from external validation to internal alignment, and the surprising freedom that comes from letting go of expectations about what life “should” look like. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear this conversation. Guest Resources Zoey’s book, “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated” Connect with Zoey on Instagram Zoey’s website Do you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick Connect TheBigFourOh.com TBFO on Instagram TBFO on Facebook Get the Email Digest Listen, Rate & Subscribe YouTube Podcasts Apple Podcasts Spotify Amazon Podcasts Sponsor The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications