High-Functioning Anxiety in Christian Women: When Responsibility Becomes Control with Ashely Hagamen

Why can’t I stop overthinking—even when I know I’ve done everything I can? Sometimes anxiety doesn’t look like panic or obvious fear. It looks like researching one more thing, planning for every possible outcome, staying productive, taking care of everyone else, and convincing yourself you’re simply being responsible.  But when does wisdom and good stewardship cross over into trying to guarantee that nothing goes wrong? And what happens when the very traits you’ve been praised for—being capable, prepared, productive, and dependable—are also making it harder to let go of control?  In this episode of The Christian Clinician, Dr. Tanya Paynter talks with licensed professional counselor Ashley Hagaman about the mental, emotional, and spiritual side of anxiety in high-functioning Christian women. They explore why a meltdown over something small may have very little to do with what just happened, why accepting help can feel strangely difficult, and how the pressure to “have more faith” can actually add another layer of shame to anxiety.  They also dig into a harder question: How do you know what is actually your responsibility—and what you were never meant to control in the first place? And if busyness has become one of the ways you avoid uncomfortable emotions, what happens when you finally stop long enough to feel them?  In this episode, you’ll explore: Why anxiety can hide behind productivity and responsibility When problem-solving quietly turns into rumination Why being the woman who “has it all together” can become part of the problem What a small overreaction may reveal about what’s happening underneath Why control can feel useful—even when it’s fueling anxiety The guilt and shame Christian women can carry around anxious thoughts Why accepting help can feel harder than offering it What “take every thought captive” should—and shouldn’t—become Why “just have more faith” is such an unhelpful response to anxiety What busyness may be protecting you from having to feel Anxiety doesn’t always look anxious. Sometimes it looks like striving to be the woman everyone else depends on. Episode Timestamps 00:00 When anxiety looks like responsibility 05:45 Is it really about what just happened? 10:19 When anxiety shows up without obvious thoughts 15:34 Why control can feel so useful 18:35 Where does your responsibility end? 21:39 The pressure to have it all together 25:36 Why accepting help can feel so difficult 30:08 When faith becomes another standard you’re failing 35:19 Does anxiety mean you need more faith? 38:02 The problem with “just have more faith” 39:02 When busyness becomes avoidance 42:22 What anxiety may really be asking you to face Ask The Christian Clinician Have a question about your relationship with God, the Christian faith, apologetics, or something you’ve been wrestling with that you’d like a different perspective on? Send your question to [email protected]. You’re welcome to remain anonymous — or, if you’re willing, you may be invited to join me on the podcast to talk through your question together. About Ashley Hageman Ashley Hageman, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor with more than a decade of clinical experience and an adjunct professor of psychology at Cornerstone University. Her work sits at the intersection of psychology, theology, philosophy, and practical Christian mental health. She is also the host of The Created Mind Podcast, where she examines psychological ideas through a Christian worldview. S4E4_Anxiety_Guest_Ashley_Hagam… Find Ashley here: The Created Mind Podcast: Listen on Apple Podcasts The Created Mind on Substack: thecreatedmind.substack.com Ashley on Substack: @ashleyhageman Her current podcast and Substack both identify her as Ashley Hageman, LPC. The Created Mind Join The Christian Clinician Facebook Group Christian Women Health and Wellness: Support for Anxiety, Hormones, and Faith Join us for encouragement, practical health conversations, and weekly discussion tied to the podcast. https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenhealthandwellness About Dr. Tanya Paynter Dr. Tanya Paynter is the host of The Christian Clinician, a podcast built on the belief that true whole-person health rests on five pillars: physical health, mental health, emotional health, relationship with God, and Christian fellowship — all connected and communicated through the nervous system. As a licensed naturopathic physician, Dr. Paynter bridges biblical truth and clinical science — helping Christians understand how our relationship with God and faith practices like worship, prayer, Sabbath, and community shape stress physiology, nervous system health, and long-term wellbeing. If you're searching for a faith-based functional medicine approach to health that addresses body, mind, spirit, and community together, The Christian Clinician was recorded with you in mind. Where to Find The Christian Clinician Learn more at: www.psalmmedical.com Visit the podcast webpage: https://www.psalmmedical.com/podcast Follow The Christian Clinician YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thechristianclinician Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheChristianClinician Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenhealthandwellness Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christianclinician/ Substack: https://substack.com/@thechristianclinician