The Aftershow: #14 The Mattering Instinct (with Rebecca Goldstein)

In this aftershow episode of The Connection Effect, host Bill Groner reflects on his recent conversation with philosopher Rebecca Newberger Goldstein. Bill is joined by three fellow alumni of the University of Pennsylvania Master of Applied Positive Psychology program: Harry Hofer (Executive Coach), Sonya Looney (World Champion Athlete and Performance Coach), and Ilene Schaffer (Executive Coach). While the main episode laid out Rebecca's "mattering map" in theoretical detail, this conversation — dedicated to the late mattering scholar Isaac Prilleltensky — brings it into everyday life, with each guest locating themselves on the map in real time and offering their own ideas about where it could expand. Together, the group explores: Where each of them falls on Rebecca's four-part map — socializer, transcender, heroic striver, competitor — and how that's shifted across different stages of their lives A friendly pushback on the map itself: whether "giver" or "impacter" deserves to be a fifth category Practical, concrete ways to help someone else feel valued in conversation, and why it's worth asking whether the other person felt like they mattered Topics of Discussion: 00:00 Aftershow Kickoff 01:17 Why Mattering Matters 02:28 What Lights You Up 03:29 Giving and Receiving Value 09:13 Mattering Personas Explained 10:48 Transcender Calling and Legacy 13:17 Heroic Striver and Giving Back 17:26 Competitors and Core Needs 20:10 Coaching When Achieving Feels Empty 21:18 Reframing the Competitor Persona 22:44 Competition Reframed 24:40 Mattering Map Agency 26:12 Bill on Striving 27:38 Eileen Finds Her Mix 29:27 Sonya Venn Diagram 32:18 From Theory to Practice 33:12 Helping Others Matter 37:40 Sonya on Bespoke Value 39:08 Closing Reflections Connect with The Connection Effect Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack: connection.net/substack Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected]