You can't change what you can't be with A conversation with David Young

The Enlightened Family Business Podcast Ep. 168: You Can't Change What You Can't Be With — A Conversation with David Young In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker sits down with David Young — somatic experiencing practitioner, collective trauma healer, co-executive director at Somatic Experiencing International, and founder of The Art of Collective Integration — for a wide-ranging conversation on one of the most underexplored dimensions of human development: why intelligent, well-educated people keep repeating patterns that hurt them, and what it actually takes to change. David brings a remarkable lineage to this work — the son of an African American former Black Panther-turned-missionary and a Taiwanese mother, trained in intelligence analysis, East Asian philosophy, pastoral ministry, and somatic psychology. Together Chris and David explore why transformation isn't a cognitive event but a full-body physiological experience; why self-help books give us the cherry on top without the cake underneath; the difference between cultivating performance and cultivating wisdom; how the nervous system holds patterns that fire faster than the speed of thought; why anxiety in the rising generation is best met with co-regulation before analysis; what resilience actually means and why it's the highway to both personal and collective change; and what it looks like to raise a generation that can hold the complexity of a volatile, uncertain, rapidly accelerating world. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever wondered why knowing better doesn't always lead to doing better. Episode Chapters · 1:07 Meet David Young · 4:05 Breaking Patterns — What's Really Going On · 5:55 Developing the Rising Generation for the Future · 7:00 The Stages of Development Haven't Changed — But Everything Else Has · 10:56 Belonging vs. Becoming: The Tension Every Rising Gen Faces · 15:37 Why Highly Intelligent People Keep Repeating Harmful Patterns · 17:24 Why Self-Help Books Give You the Realization Without the Change · 22:36 Same Car, Different Engine: What Changes When Healing Happens · 23:09 Performance Culture vs. Wisdom Culture · 27:53 Pain and Pleasure Are Not Enough — The Limits of Leverage · 29:33 What the Nervous System Has to Do With Everything · 34:35 Anxiety in the Rising Generation — What's Really Driving It · 36:52 Co-Regulation: The First Step Before Asking Why · 41:14 Building Resilience: The Highway to Personal and Collective Change · 47:16 Resilience Is the Capacity to Stay in Flow With Adversity · 48:01 A Message for Parents and Family Principals · 50:28 Resources and Farewell Websites · artofcollectiveintegration.com · traumahealing.org · chrisyonker.com About David Young David Young 楊正賢, M.A., CMMT is the Co-Executive Director of Somatic Experiencing International and the founder and lead teacher of The Art of Collective Integration (ACI), a methodology for addressing collective trauma and societal polarization through somatic, relational, and systems-based practices. As a collective trauma integration facilitator, certified mindfulness meditation teacher, and executive coach, David supports communities and organizations through critical transitions — helping them heal from collective trauma, navigate complexity, and enable healthy communication in polarized environments. With 20+ years of experience in leadership development, systems change, and trauma-informed consulting, David brings a unique approach that integrates somatic awareness, collective intelligence, and wisdom traditions to foster resilient, adaptive organizations. He has designed and facilitated large-scale leadership retreats and community healing initiatives in over 30 cities across the US and Europe, focusing on intergenerational leadership, cultural resilience, and conflict transformation. He is also a co-creator and co-facilitator of Attuned: Becoming Trauma Informed & Trauma Responsive in Professional Settings (accredited by the Law Society of Ontario) and The Leadership Dojo, an eight-week practice-based facilitation training. A student of collective trauma healing with Thomas Hübl, David holds multiple certifications in mindfulness, trauma facilitation, and conscious leadership, and is a teacher on Insight Timer, a global meditation app. He enjoys traveling, camping with his kids, martial arts, and hanging out in tea shops.