The Journey with Gabi Koyenov - The Official Podcast of The Men's Therapy Studio

SPECIAL CROSSOVER EPISODEThis conversation originally appeared on Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus, hosted by Shalom Tzvi Shore. I felt this discussion was too important not to share with The Journey community as well.A huge thank-you to Shalom and the Beyond Belief podcast for creating the space for this honest conversation. Please check out the original show, subscribe, and send Shalom some love:Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-belief-tales-of-religious-exodus/id1749161974In this episode, the roles are reversed: Gabi becomes the guest and shares his own journey through Bukharian identity, Orthodox Judaism, yeshiva, purity culture, the shidduch system, and ultimately leaving religious life.Gabi opens up about growing up in Queens, navigating his family’s faith, and trying to find his place within both Bukharian and broader Jewish communities. He discusses the divisions he encountered between different Jewish identities, his experiences with racism in yeshiva, and the mentor who gave him a different model of what religious leadership could look like.The conversation follows Gabi’s full yeshiva arc—from learning and searching for meaning to confronting the psychological consequences of purity culture. He explains why he consciously chose faith, how heartbreak and dating sent him into a spiral, and how the rules and expectations surrounding sexuality, marriage, and shidduchim affected his mental health.Gabi and Shalom examine whether the shidduch system can function as a form of high-control or cult-like social pressure. Gabi recounts the panic attacks that accompanied his departure, his final conversation with his rabbi, and an unexpected shidduch-related twist involving the woman he would eventually marry.He also shares how an ayahuasca experience opened him to a new understanding of spirituality and metaphysics—and what it meant to leave Orthodox Judaism without abandoning his search for meaning.This is a deeply personal conversation about religious deconstruction, Bukharian Jewish identity, racism in yeshivas, purity culture, dating, shidduchim, mental health, psychedelics, marriage, and finding the courage to move forward.CHAPTERS00:00 Opening Up About Leaving Orthodoxy 03:07 Bukharian Identity and Divisions Within Judaism 11:23 Growing Up in Queens and Family Faith 22:37 Racism in Yeshiva and Finding a Mentor 30:26 Representation in Yeshivas 32:06 Rabbi Kramer’s Model 35:03 Gabi’s Yeshiva Journey 38:02 The Psychological Fallout of Purity Culture 1:00:54 Choosing Faith in Search of Meaning 1:02:40 Heartbreak and the Dating Spiral 1:04:39 Ayahuasca and a New Metaphysics 1:15:49 The Shidduch System as Cult-Like Control 1:32:11 Leaving Orthodoxy and Experiencing Panic Attacks 1:33:34 The Final Conversation With His Rabbi 1:35:41 The Unexpected Shidduch and Marriage Twist 1:39:12 Coming Out of Orthodox Judaism and Moving Forward Please support Shalom Tzvi Shore and Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus. The podcast gives people from many religious backgrounds a place to tell the truth about leaving, questioning, and rebuilding their lives.This episode contains a personal discussion of ayahuasca and mental health. It is presented as personal experience, not medical advice.#LeavingOrthodoxJudaism #ReligiousDeconstruction #BukharianJewish

Manny Yosipov joins Gabi for a wide-ranging conversation about leaving frum Orthodox Judaism without losing his curiosity, spirituality, or openness to new ideas. Manny discusses the fallout from debating Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi, the nuance he discovered within biblical teachings, and why even the commandment to honor one’s parents deserves to be questioned. He reflects on Shabbat, religious community, and the gradual process that led him away from frum life. The conversation expands into economics, government regulation, oligopolies, Amazon, spirituality and drugs, and the fascinating idea that myths evolve much like genes. Manny and Gabi also explore how language shapes culture, how leaving religion affects parenting, and what it means to raise children who can think openly for themselves. Finally, Manny shares ideas from neuroscience that influence how he lives, thinks, parents, and understands the brain—including the strange and revealing world of dreams. An open-minded conversation about Orthodox Judaism, religious deconstruction, spirituality, parenting, economics, mythology, language, neuroscience, and life after certainty.

What happens when a rabbi begins questioning the religious system, political ideology, and life he once believed in? In this episode, Gabi sits down with Shalom Tzvi Shore, a former rabbi who studied and served in Israel before undergoing a profound process of religious and ideological deconstruction. Shalom opens up about life inside an intense yeshiva, the burden of religious rules, his experience with OCD, and why he now describes the form of Judaism he practiced as a cult. Using Steven Hassan’s BITE Model—behavior, information, thought, and emotional control—they examine how high-control environments shape identity, discourage questions, and influence the way people understand truth. Shalom explains why divorce became a turning point in his deconstruction and how leaving forced him to rebuild his morality, identity, and inner compass. The conversation also moves into difficult and timely territory as Shalom discusses his evolving relationship with Zionism after October 7 and makes his case for a one-state democracy. Gabi responds with her own perspective as they explore disagreement, collective identity, moral injury, and the possibility of recognizing shared humanity across deeply divided communities. Later, Shalom shares the freedom he experienced after leaving, his approach to trauma healing, and his experiences with psychedelics, hypnosis, and Existential Kink. They also discuss psychedelic risks, dosage, set and setting, antinatalism, obligation, and the search for meaning after certainty falls away. This is a candid conversation about religious deconstruction, high-control groups, Israel and Palestine, trauma, moral responsibility, and what it takes to build a life beyond inherited beliefs. Connect with Shalom Tzvi! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/shalomshore?igsh=bTd2cjFvZXd4djd5 Hypnotherapy https://navyahypnosis.com/landing-page/work-with-shalom/ Freidom fighter https://freidomfighter.com/category/freidom-favorites/ Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/7yWbv1wSD5FwQuSBhbPksF?si=6oAFbgwtQEKdgZAv_MtvfA&utm_source=copy-link&sci=spotify%3Acard-config%3A4WRGpYzoPb38oiU8Afd0sh Connect with Gabi! Youtube - www.youtube.com/@gabikoyenov Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/2SoydqNskaV9wOra0Yh6Z3?ssssid1891df9a822414c Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/journey_with_gabi/ Book a session! The Men's Therapy Studio https://themenstherapystudio.com/ 00:00 Meet the Ex Rabbi 00:47 Rabbinic Studies Reality Check 02:37 Inside an Intense Yeshiva 05:25 Army Service and Aish Hesder 13:39 Deconstructing Zionism After Oct 7 18:35 One State Democracy Argument 19:50 Host Responds and Shared Humanity 27:27 Was Yeshiva a Cult 29:03 BITE Model Explained 31:40 Aish as Personal Growth Cult 32:19 OCD and Rule Burden 33:51 Truth Claims and Question Shutdowns 36:25 Divorce Trigger and Deconstruction 47:10 Moral Injury and Inner Compass 01:00:58 Freedom After Leaving 01:06:51 Trauma Healing and Psychedelics 01:11:47 Risks Doses and Set Setting 01:18:37 Antinatalism and Obligation 01:21:15 Healing Tools and Existential Kink 01:26:50 Hypnosis Method and Closing Advice This episode includes personal accounts and discussion of psychedelics. It is intended for education and conversation, not medical advice. Psychedelic substances can carry serious psychological, medical, and legal risks; consult an appropriately qualified professional before making decisions about treatment. If this conversation resonates with you, subscribe and share it with someone exploring religious deconstruction, identity, trauma recovery, or life after a high-control community. #ReligiousDeconstruction #ExRabbi #LeavingReligion

What happens when leaving is no longer a choice—but something you must do to survive? In this episode, Gabi sits down with Suri, founder of After the Burn, for an honest conversation about religious trauma, burnout, shame, autonomy, and the painful cost of leaving a high-control religious environment. Suri shares her experience leaving the Ultra Orthodox community of Lakewood, New Jersey, of going from therapist to patient, entering residential treatment, and gradually recognizing the abuse and control surrounding her. She discusses the stigma that keeps people silent, the impact of shunning on families, and why leaving a religious community is often far more complicated than outsiders understand. Together, Suri and Gabi explore the difficult process of rebuilding an identity after leaving, questioning long-held beliefs, navigating spirituality and mental health, and reclaiming personal autonomy. They also discuss psychedelic-assisted healing, including ketamine, as well as parenting, criticism, shame exposure, and what recovery can look like after religious burnout. This conversation is for anyone who has questioned their faith, experienced religious trauma, left a high-control community, or struggled to rediscover who they are outside of inherited expectations. CHAPTERS 00:00 Meet Suri and Gabi 00:35 Therapist Turned Patient 02:33 Why She Had to Leave 05:15 Stigma and Silence 06:14 Religious Abuse Example 09:16 Women and Burnout 13:47 Truman Show Reality 18:56 Truth Seeking and Labels 23:53 The Cost of Leaving 28:33 Faith and Mental Health 33:59 Autonomy and Control 35:23 Shunning and Family 40:01 How Leaving Unfolded 42:08 Leaving to Survive 43:35 The Reality of Residential Treatment 44:17 Seeing the Abuse Clearly 45:56 Rebuilding Identity and Beliefs 47:12 Why People Really Leave 50:03 Spirituality After Leaving 58:22 Ketamine and Psychedelic Healing 1:02:37 Religious Trauma and After the Burn 1:09:01 Shame, Exposure, and Freedom 1:16:43 Handling Criticism and Parenting 1:22:06 Suri’s Rooftop Message on Burnout If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who may need to hear it and subscribe for more honest discussions about identity, mental health, faith, healing, and personal freedom. Connect with Suri! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/aftertheburnco? Website aftertheburn.co Connect with Gabi! Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/journey_with_gabi/ Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/2SoydqNskaV9wOra0Yh6Z3?si=d1891df9a822414c Book a session! The Men's Therapy Studio https://themenstherapystudio.com/ #ReligiousTrauma #Burnout #FaithDeconstruction

In this incredible conversation Gabi Koyenov interviews Rabbi Tovia Singer on his lifelong work countering Christian missionary efforts and helping Jews who converted to Christianity return to Judaism. Rabbi Singer explains how growing up after the Holocaust and encountering groups like Jews for Jesus pushed him to study primary Christian sources, the New Testament, church councils, and Tanakh, concluding Christianity misquotes Hebrew scripture and contains anti-Jewish themes. He discusses why Jews convert—typically due to limited Jewish education, alienation, low self-esteem, and personal crises—plus the social pull of evangelical communities, and says education can “inoculate” Jews against missionaries. Singer emphasizes he aims to strengthen faith, not create atheists, highlighting Tanakh’s message of teshuvah and God’s accessibility, contrasting it with Christian doctrines of sin and salvation. He closes urging people to return to original sources and shares outreachjudaism.com and his YouTube channel. Connect with Rabbi Tovia Singer Help us combat aggressive Jewish evangelism in Israel: https://outreachjudaism.org/partners/ Let’s Get Biblical Study Guide (Volume 1 & 2) https://outreachjudaism.org/shop/lets-get-biblical-expanded-2-volume-study-guide/ Website https://outreachjudaism.org/ Connect with Gabi! Youtube www.youtube.com/@gabikoyenov Book a session! The Men's Therapy Studio https://themenstherapystudio.com/ 00:00 Meet Rabbi Singer 00:45 Why He Started 05:02 Studying Primary Sources 08:58 Understanding Christian Belief 15:03 Why Jews Convert 18:29 Psychology and Community Pull 25:49 Trauma and Alienation Factors 30:18 Ethics of Deconversion Work 34:39 Tanakh as Healing Framework 40:54 Advice for Seekers in Transition 42:02 Why Jews Reject Jesus 44:15 Christian Antisemitism Roots 49:56 Who Was Historical Jesus 52:32 Jewish Messianic Guardrails 55:38 Denominations and Doctrine Drift 59:09 Why Religions Clash 01:06:37 Starting Point Tanakh 01:10:16 Why Jews Convert 01:16:47 Prophecy and Modern Israel 01:20:21 Education Over Assimilation 01:22:53 Final Message Original Sources