The Kink Consultant

Auntie Carmen, the desire midwife, joins the podcast to discuss becoming shame proof, claiming your kinks, and having the kind of sex you actually want. Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠http://www.amandadames.com/Coaching This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Auntie Carmen, the desire midwife, who helps women who are kink curious or identify as kinky become shame proof so they can uncover their true desires, claim their kinks, and have the sex they actually want. They explore how women are conditioned to be the receiver of desire rather than the person with the desire, why malnourishment and scarcity push people into settling, and how to tell the difference between fear and a genuine lack of compatibility. Auntie Carmen shares her own journey of discovering her submission in her 40s, meeting her dominant on FetLife from across the world, and why she believes shame should not be released but transformed into an erotic playground. If you have ever felt like a burden for wanting what you want, this episode is for you. Connect with Auntie Carmen https://www.instagram.com/shameproofyourdesires/ https://shameproofyourdesires.com/ Download your FREE Worksheets: Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Connect with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠ Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store

In the final installment of this special three-part solo series, I am breaking down what to do if your partner says no or freaks out when you share your kink. Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠http://www.amandadames.com/Coaching This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I close out the series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part one, we covered preparation and releasing shame. In part two, we walked through the exact conversation. In part three, we are talking about what happens after, whether it went well or it did not. I explain how to lead with curiosity about what has been coming up for your partner, how to address their fears without jumping into fix-it mode or defensiveness, and why you do not have to accept shame even when you are asking for understanding. I also break down the different levels of no, why a no is a boundary that must be respected, and how working with a coach or therapist can help you both find a path forward even when the kink itself is off the table. If you have shared your kink and it did not go the way you hoped, this episode gives you the next steps. Download your FREE Worksheets: Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Connect with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠ Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store

In part two of this special three-part solo series, I am breaking down exactly how to have the conversation with your partner about your kink. Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠http://www.amandadames.com/coaching This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I continue the series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part two, I walk you through the actual conversation from start to finish. I explain how to set up the conversation at the right time, how to lead with curiosity before you share, and why asking for consent to share your fantasy changes everything. I also break down how to explain your kink in a way your partner can actually understand by naming the feeling underneath it, how to give them space to process, and why closing the conversation with gratitude and a future check-in date matters. If you have been ready to have the conversation but are not sure what to actually say, this episode gives you the exact framework. Download your FREE Worksheets: Fantasy mapping: https://www.amandadames.com/fantasy-mapping-with-amanda-dames-opt-in Speaking your desires with confidence: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1 Connect with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠ Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store

In the first episode of a special three-part solo series, I am breaking down everything you need to know before you tell your partner you are kinky. Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠http://www.amandadames.com/coaching This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, I am launching a special solo series on how to tell your partner you are kinky. In part one, I focus on the preparation that needs to happen before the conversation even starts, because disclosing a kink and asking your partner to participate in it are two very different things. I walk through the questions you need to ask yourself first, including why you want to tell them, where your kink falls on the spectrum of fantasy, nice to have, and need, and how to identify the feeling underneath the kink so you can explain it in a way your partner can actually understand. I also address how to prepare for a no, why highly stigmatized kinks require extra time and softness, and why releasing shame is the number one thing standing between you and the experiences you want. If you have been hiding a kink, wondering how to bring it up, or scared of how your partner will react, this episode gives you the foundation you need before part two. Connect with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠ Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store

Melanie Rose, star of Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room, joins the podcast to discuss sex room design, the history of sex toys, and how to create a pleasure space that works for your body and your relationship. Book A Consult Call with Amanda ⁠http://www.amandadames.com/coaching This week on The Kink Consultant Podcast, Amanda sits down with Melanie Rose, interior designer, artist, and host of Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room. They discuss how she went from designing kitchens and bathrooms to creating intimate sanctuaries for couples, why sex rooms do not have to look like dungeons, and how she approaches consultations with curiosity and zero judgment. They also discuss her favorite recommendations for spicing up a master bedroom, including the Tantra Chair, underbed restraint kits, and her curated website where everything has been personally tested or vetted. If you have ever wanted to add a little spice to your bedroom, wondered how to store your kinky items tastefully, or been curious about what it is really like to design a sex room, this episode is for you. Connect with Melanie Rose https://www.melanieruthrose.com/ https://www.instagram.com/melanieruthrose/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100013043105080 https://www.pinterest.com/melanieruthrose/ Connect with Amanda ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠ Download the BDSM Checklist Here: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560⁠ Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/store