Baddie Iz Famous. (Unc Edit)

EXT. NIGHTCLUB / ALLEYWAY - NIGHT A booming beat drops. SUNNI BLU (played by TRACY MORGAN) holds the mic mid-cypher outside the back entrance. SUNNI BLU Other witches stay in the chat, But me, I’m different. This is the world I been living in: I’m in the club right now, Camouflage pants and Illuminati fitted. Ain’t no wigs getting snatched, We in the back right now. It’s a movie, In the second act right now. I ain’t gotta think back right now, Matter of fact right now, Roll a fattie right now, Get smacked right now, if you want, but Ain’t no wigs getting snatched right now. Other witches stay in the chat, But me, I’m different. Matter of fact; I just wrote a rap right now! This is the world I been living in. OK; Three times, Three times: Mitch McConnell throwing up the peace sign. Now I got three times on me, Got a one-track diamond mind though, Shawty outside though, Vibes all the time though— NATALIE NUNN Blu, shut up. SUNNI BLU What? I don’t unc ninja, I am just a unc witcha. I been on some unc shit, Prolly roll a blunt ish, I be on some Bundt shit, That is no assumption. Peepin' on corruption On a brunch and luncheon. Y’all been in the lunchroom, I been eating munch, dude. What? NATALIE NUNN Blu, shut up! ANDY SAMBERG IMPRESSION OF LORNE MICHAELS (deadpan cadence) Anything can happen at brunch! Doooo! SUNNI BLU More camouflage, Got a mister in a smock; More camouflage, Star Trek, call me Spock. More camouflage, Park the car, I spin the block. Turn the cameras off, Bend it over, Gonna fuck. I be fly like a bird, I flock 'em. Skrilla, I’m awesome. Talk show, Like I’m Emmy Rossum. Plot twist, Sike, nah, I got options. I just went shopping, ’Bout to take a bunch of rocks… –to the Plaza! ’Cause I’m on my God shit. I ain’t no house, I’m progressive experiment. I just bought a house in Malibu, Oh. I’m ’bout to buy me a Barbie And find me a hobby, End up in the lobby just flaunting. Uh, Every house I go is haunted. I’m ghost, Probably French 'cause I’m toasted, yeah. French, I’m Montana, Not Hannah, But been on my Peloton, Yeah. That is a deep cut. I do some deep glottal, That’s not a secret. I am a seeker, Avid Reader. I am Leader Of the free world. Once you see me, You won’t need her. Ahahahaha! I got chin-checked, I am Natalie Nunn. Write me a check And then go for a run. Smoke me a Brunson, Bake me a bundt Cake. She mad at me 'cause her butt Fake. I got up midnight on Mon- Day, I’m On One. You mad, Huh? I’m Kanye! Let me be Frank Ocean, I got blonder. Go on a walk to the Whole Foods, Picking up some water. I been on Wall Street, You cannot stop me. I own a Walmart; I run the country. President Trump wanna hug me ’Cause I got junk in the trunkee, And money in the trust, eh? Chunky-Monkey, Monkey Bread: EE! See me on hump day; Since you want to, Humpty-Dumpty. I been on some luck-wish, Call me Sukihana. You know what I want: Peanut Butter. Ahaha! I am a Lost Cause, Licking on your bal-wals. Hakuna Matata Like I am a warthog. I don’t need a bottle, But I want a bag though. I been on some gay bliss, But I’m not a fag though. I been on some fan ish, But I got fans though. I been on some bad shit, Call me Michael Jackson. Yessir, an asshole, Present, not a past though. I been on SNAP, Crackle-pop, Head of the household. NATALIE NUNN ...I am... so confused. MYSTIC (V.O.) (ethereal incantation) You don’t belong, Just come and go... Although we share a common goal. SUNNI BLU pulls out a glossy photograph of JIMMY KIMMEL and thrusts it directly before Natalie. SUNNI BLU Have you seen this man?! NATALIE NUNN doesn’t respond, only squinting in a sort of angry, drunken confusion—looking immaculate, nonetheless. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) That’s fine. What about this one? SUNNI BLU whips out a headshot of JAY LENO. NATALIE squints again, registering a flash of visceral recognition. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) Of course you have. That’s your fatha. SUNNI BLU tosses both photos to the pavement. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) You can keep that. NATALIE NUNN is reality television’s most notorious and high-profile SHAPESHIFTER, whose current extraterrestrial identity is unknown; this may be a deep-cover agent, or perhaps even a high-ranking intergalactic government official using NATALIE as its current host. Some extraterrestrials are trademarked by their extremely high tolerance for alcohol consumption and hybrid human appearance. SUNNI BLU (TRACY MORGAN) has been in hot pursuit of a highly volatile shapeshifting aviary, last known to have been seen with the entity CHAOS, who often conforms as the high-profile television personality JIMMY KIMMEL, whose actual true identity remains unknown. These entities are notorious for multiversal structure decomposure and material construction through the consumption and distribution of "intoxicant substances"—drugs and spirits which alter the perception of the human body and mind, allowing the multi-billion-century-long war to carry on in multilateral intergalactic directions across charted and uncharted territories of the cosmic grid. SUNNI BLU (CONT'D) You’re right. I don’t fit in. NATALIE NUNN You’re lost! SUNNI BLU What? NATALIE NUNN You’re lost, right? SUNNI BLU Listen, Nat, I know your script is not normally printed on paper and shit, but— NATALIE NUNN It still isn’t. I just get the digital— SUNNI BLU That’s enough lessons. NATALIE NUNN Huh? What? SUNNI BLU You’re lost, right? Suddenly, NATALIE seems genuinely confused. SUNNI BLU hurries off into the night, somewhat lifted, and grimaces, chuckling under her breath an evil and sort of maniacal laugh. INT. SURVEILLANCE QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS TWO INTERGALACTIC AGENTS—high-ranking alien operatives embedded on Earth, disguised in standard casual attire—sit in front of a flat-screen monitor, surveillance feeds running alongside an intercepted terrestrial television broadcast of "Enter The Multiverse." AGENT 1 What just happened? AGENT 2 I think they just shifted. AGENT 1 No, they switched. AGENT 2 What? I don’t get this. AGENT 1 They switched it. AGENT 2 With WHAT? I don’t GET this! {Enter The Multiverse} ON SCREEN: The entity masquerading as NATALIE NUNN continues its erratic frequency discharge, stumbling across the club perimeter with hyper-accelerated cadence. BLU THA GURU Woah, Baddie is famous, Catch me outside though, I am DRUNK. Bitch, it’s Monday morning, Why the fuck you in the club? ’Bout to get a bag And maybe open up a pub. I be feeling good, Just having coffee in my cup. I don’t pay the tab, I be chilling in the tub. I got lots of luck, Eh, I get lots of love, Ey, Twisting up my locs, Ey. I be calling Cops On the ops, Shut that dog up! If I even show up at the place, Then I got product! I keep a code of conduct, Do it for the bag, But you won’t see me with a product. I ain’t tryna fuck with n***as, If I need a confirm, I’m not Natalie for now, but cross 'cause I’m a nun-nun. AGENT 1 LOL, that’s enough. AGENT 2 I agree. BLU THA GURU This ain’t no fun no more, I lost too much weight so I can’t run no more. Ain’t got a number though, I’m on the honor roll. I might rent a yacht And end up in the harbor though. BITCH, I WANT SOME PIZZA! ’Bout to call the plug, It’s Monday morning, Finna re-up. Bitch, I did a relay, I got married with a prenup. Call that n***a Charlie Brown ’Cause he be on some peanuts. I can’t chase a motherfucker, Bitch, I need some PENIS. Bring them in a Cadillac And send them in a PRIUS. They be on some slavery, But I been tryna FREE US. I been on the KETO, Keep them bagels in the FREEZER. Bitch, it’s Monday morning, What you doing in the club? BACK TO THE MONITOR ROOM: The two AGENTS track the sub-vocal audio waves, cross-referencing biometric signatures against cosmic mainframe records. AGENT 1 You’re right. That’s not Ms. Nunn. AGENT 2 They switched it. AGENT 1 Correct. AGENT 2 And by "they," you mean—? AGENT 1 He. AGENT 2 So it is him. AGENT 1 Facts. AGENT 2 What do you think he wants? AGENT 1 He’s trying to find the other Tritarians. AGENT 2 How do you know that? AGENT 1 ...I recently found out... I may be Tritarian. AGENT 2 —So you have a connection? AGENT 1 Negative. I’ve been taking some side work decrypting languages for the fourth chapter of the Pritherion Hyphex. AGENT 2 So you have access to Tritarian knowledge vaults by right of passage. Interesting genetics. AGENT 1 Maybe. AGENT 2 Well, I stand corrected. Maybe you aren’t hopeless after all. AGENT 1 No, I’m hopeless. Useless, maybe not. AGENT 2 Don’t get ahead of yourself. AGENT 1 —I’m not. A beat. AGENT 1 (CONT'D) Or—I won’t. [The Festival Project ™] MUSIC CUE: "Lady Madonna" (The Beatles - Love Version) plays as the scene transitions: MONTAGE. INT. STUDIO 8H - SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - NIGHT JIMMY FALLON pays a visit to the SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE set, taking in the environment with candor and nostalgia. Suddenly, an OBJECT arcs across Studio 8H and hits Jimmy Fallon square in the face. KAM PATTERSON (O.S.) Ten points! ASHLEY PADILLA What IS that?! JEREMY CULHANE (nervous laughter) Ahahahahah! The object lands on the floor. UPON CLOSER INSPECTION, it appears to be a freshly severed HUMAN HEART JANE WICKLINE Um. I think it’s— ASHLEY PADILLA Don’t touch that. JEREMY CULHANE We’re not going to tell anybody about this. JANE WICKLINE ...Is it still beating?! JEREMY CULHANE Shh. Shut up. KAM PATTERSON What are you doing with it? JEREMY CULHANE With what? [beat] KAM PATTERSON (blank faced) ...With what? JANE WICKLINE 👀 DJ NOTES: {ADHD DISTRACTION IMMINENT} Internet friends><>Star Wars><>< Animals, Martin Garrix ... but I think I’ve already done that exact mix already. MEANWHILE INT. JEREMY'S DRESSING ROOM / PARNASSUS LAB PROFESSOR PARNASSUS (played by JEREMY CULHANE) stands maniacally over THE HEART in his makeshift alchemical lab, as it beats with a GLOWING GREEN AURA from its assembled GATE. He leans in closer, drooling at the prospect of his most recent capture; he not only believes it to be, but knows it is indeed the famed HEART OF ION OF ITHIOS lore; a folk legend, but now his own, residing in his lab. His SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE castmate SAIDA enters, after a couple of knocks at the door. Suddenly the lighting shifts, as he is taken off guard. SAIDA Um. JEREMY CULHANE Hey. (clears throat) Ahem. [I mean] Oh, hiiiii. SAIDA Yeah. JEREMY CULHANE Ahem. Yeah. SAIDA So you have an evil lab in your dressing room? JEREMY CULHANE (shrugs) It came like this. SAIDA OK. Mine has antlers on the wall; I’m trying to know how to feel about that. JEREMY CULHANE Disingenuous, perhaps. SAIDA I agree. He fails to turn around, deflated, still hovering over the glowing heart with his instruments. SAIDA (CONT'D) ...Are you coming to lunch? JEREMY CULHANE ...Yes. SAIDA (deadpan) All right. JEREMY CULHANE ’K. SAIDA All right. JEREMY CULHANE OK. SAIDA All right. SAIDA exits, shutting the door gently and turning around. INT. 8H HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS KENAN THOMPSON is directly behind her, almost miraculously. KENAN THOMPSON He has it. SAIDA Yes. KENAN THOMPSON Perfect. Follow me to my chambers. SAIDA I ordered lunch. KENAN THOMPSON IT WILL WAIT. SAIDA sighs, disgruntled, and follows KENAN; they lift their HOODED ROBES in synchronicity. {Enter The Multiverse} EXT. ISLES OF YUM - DAY A herald sounds an alarm from the battlement. HERALD THE DUKE ARCHIBALD OF NEVERWHETHER HAS ARRIVED! CHAMBERLAIN YOUR MAJESTY! AT ONCE, READY THE EMPIRE! SOLDIER BUT—Your Majesty! CHAMBERLAIN AT ONCE! Before— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG enters rapidly, her royal attire trailing behind her. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG WHEA IS HEH?! CHAMBERLAIN —Where is whom?! SOLDIER Your Majesty— CHAMBERLAIN Ugh, Sire. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG WHEA IS THE DUKE, ARCHIBALD?! CHAMBERLAIN Ahem, descending quickly, Your Triumph. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG UNREMARKABLE. CHAMBERLAIN Agreed, Your Royal— PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG I MUST REBUKE HIM AT ONCE! CHAMBERLAIN Your Highness. PRINCESS SHAMALAMADINGDONG AT ONCE! CHAMBERLAIN Ahem, very well. High above, JANE WICKLINE flaps her wings and defends from the cavernous rooftop hideaway. JANE WICKLINE Okays. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™ ] © Copyright The Complex Collective Unstoppable.Co