The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living

Acts of kindness are the small, observant choices that take about 30 seconds and can turn someone's day around. So why do they feel so rare right now? On Clancy's morning walks, only about 60 percent of people wave or say hello back. Commutes turn into races, a friendly note on a windshield feels like a scam, and the algorithm keeps feeding us the worst of each other. If you've been wondering where all the kindness went, especially in this empty nest season, you're not imagining it. We're Clancy and Rick Denton, empty nesters and co-authors of The Loud Quiet: Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, and in this episode we trade the stories that restored a little of our faith in people. A stranger who waved Clancy ahead in the checkout line. A fulfillment center worker who mailed back the truck keys Rick accidentally returned. A quick DM reply from a podcast host that ended with a compliment. We also get honest about how hard it is to be kind to the person you live with, especially during a sick week, and why scheduling kindness works better than waiting to feel it. Clancy reads a passage from Theo of Golden by Allen Levi, and we leave you with a real question: with World Kindness Day coming up on November 13, what could empty nesters do together to bring kindness back? In this episode, you'll learn: Why acts of kindness feel so rare right now, starting with Clancy's morning walk count, where only about 60 percent of people wave or say hello back How the commute became the place many of us fall short on kindness, and why turning the other cheek on the road could stop most road rage moments Why it can be hardest to be kind to the person you live with, and what a sick week and a 5:40 a.m. alarm taught us How small acts of kindness start with being observant, from a stranger offering her spot in line to a warehouse worker mailing back lost truck keys Whether social media and the algorithm push us toward negativity, and how a 30 second DM reply proved kindness online still exists Why scheduling kindness works, from a family day of kindness to serving with your life group, plus the easiest daily habit: thanking your server What Theo of Golden by Allen Levi shows about quiet kindness, and our question for you about what empty nesters could do together Mentioned in this episode: Theo of Golden by Allen Levi https://link.amazon/B08aGbrkl (affiliate link) 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Got an idea for an act of kindness empty nesters could do together? Tell us in the Facebook group or leave us a voicemail on our website. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Where has all the kindness gone 00:46 Why only 60 percent of people wave back 02:14 Commute kindness and turning the other cheek 06:54 Being kind to the person you live with 10:28 Small acts of kindness in the checkout line 11:29 A company mails back lost truck keys 14:59 Social media, the algorithm and negativity 17:58 A DM reply that made Clancy's day 21:04 Should you schedule kindness 22:02 Why you should always thank your server 27:18 Theo of Golden by Allen Levi 29:30 What can empty nesters do together Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Mid-semester is when a lot of families start asking these questions. What can a parent do after three weeks of silence? Why do so many students start struggling right around week six? And how do you support your student without stepping back into the driver’s seat? Annamarie Tellez is the director for parent and family programs at the University of Arizona, where our daughter is a senior. Annamarie is also the parent of three Wildcats. Her office is where families go when they don’t know who to call, and she sees the same worries come up with every new class. This is our second conversation with a university family engagement leader. What’s in this episode: What to do when you haven’t heard from your student Who to contact on campus when something feels off Why homesickness tends to show up around the six-week mark What helps a student find their people on a big campus How to support your student without taking over Why your second kid’s college experience may look nothing like the first How often families can expect to hear from the university University of Arizona Parent & Family Programs https://uafamily.arizona.edu 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If your student has called home sounding a little different this semester, tell us how you handled it in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 0:00 Welcome and our University of Arizona connection 1:16 Adjusting when the school updates stop 4:25 Where families turn for campus resources 6:39 Learning to step aside as a parent 9:20 Easing anxiety after you leave campus 11:53 When you haven’t heard from your student 14:40 Supporting your student without taking over 16:36 Why each kid’s college experience differs 19:17 Homesickness and finding a place on campus 22:58 How a club fair helped our daughter 25:17 How often families hear from the university Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

We just got back from Arizona. Another parents' weekend, another hike into the Grand Canyon. That trip sent us straight back to Episode 9, so we're bringing it back as a Greatest Hits episode. We recorded it in our first few months as empty nesters, a mile and a half down the trail, not even sure the mics were on. If you can, turn on the video. It was Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU, and we said yes to everything he wanted to do. Then on to Tucson and Teagan, six weeks into college. This time she had every answer and led us all over campus. What's in this episode: Empty trails on a Monday in September Tanner's final parents' weekend, and thirty-two-ounce buckets at Casa A Sunday with no flight to catch Saguaro National Park outside Tucson Teagan back at the restaurant from drop-off, talking nonstop All four of us at dinner together, in Arizona 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If your kid has started giving you the campus tour instead of the other way around, come tell us about it in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 0:00 Back from Arizona, back to this one 1:02 A mile and a half down the Grand Canyon trail 3:21 Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU 5:25 Thirty-two-ounce buckets at Casa 8:09 A Sunday with no flight home 11:48 Saguaro National Park outside Tucson 13:40 Working East Coast hours from Scottsdale 19:01 Back to the restaurant from drop-off 20:43 Teagan leads the campus tour 22:40 The last child and what's next 26:22 All four of us at dinner 29:03 Parents' weekend on the U of Arizona quad Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Rick gave Clancy a trip to Los Angeles for Christmas, and we finally took it in September. This is our first trip as just the two of us since Mexico last year. The whole thing was built around one concert. The biggest highlight came from a tour Clancy found the Tuesday before we left, after our original plan fell through. That tour got us into hidden places on the Sunset Strip and the stories behind them, the kind you'd walk right past on your own. We also get into where we stayed, where we ate, and where to sit (and not sit) at the Hollywood Palladium. If you're thinking about a trip for two, especially one that doesn't have to wait for a school break, this is our list. What's in this episode: Our first book club, and the discussion guide we built for book clubs Why our gifts have shifted toward experiences The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour that became the highlight of the trip A rare book store with a signed Jaws screenplay LA's mocktail menus and a cocktail inspired by Dean Martin Griffith Park, the Hollywood sign, and a wander up Rodeo Drive Dinner six tables deep in a chef's own kitchen Santa Monica to Venice on foot, and brunch Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium Skip the rental car and fly out of Burbank Places and experiences mentioned in the episode: Rock and Walk Tours https://rocknwalktours.com/ Jeff Lewis Live show https://www.siriusxm.com/channels/the-jeff-lewis-channel BookSoup https://booksoup.com/ Rare book store https://www.mysterypierbooks.com/ Montrose at Beverly Hills https://www.montrosewesthollywood.com/ WeHo Bistro https://www.wehobistro.com/ Bar Next Door https://www.barnextdoor.com/ Da Barbara https://barbarapollastrini.com/ Met Her At A Bar https://www.metheratabar.com/ Katana LA https://www.katanarobata.com/ Book Club Guide (in FAQs) https://theloudquiet.com/book/ 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Got your own LA favorites, or questions about ours? Share them with us in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Thank you to our first book club 01:30 A Christmas gift and couples trip 04:15 The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour 10:48 Rare books and a signed Jaws screenplay 14:56 LA's mocktail menus and Bar Next Door 17:21 Griffith Park hike and Beverly Hills 20:56 Dinner in Da Barbara's home kitchen 25:03 Santa Monica, Venice and brunch 27:39 Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium 32:37 Uber, Burbank and traveling in September Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

John Infortunio writes about his father's Alzheimer's, and he chose fiction over memoir to do it. On this episode, he tells us why a character can hold what a memoir can't. John is a lifelong educator, a native Brooklynite, and the author of two novels drawn from his own life. We get into how he balances that authenticity with fiction, what actually happens in his editing process, and how growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn neighborhood shaped the way he writes. He also talks about caretaking for his aging parents while raising his son, and what it took to stop comparing his son's twenties to his own. What's in this episode: Why John chose fiction over memoir for his father's Alzheimer's How he balances personal authenticity with writing fiction His editing process, what gets cut and what gets built up Growing up in a community-rich Brooklyn neighborhood Caretaking for his parents while raising his son and building a career Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own Watching his son grow into his own political and social views You can find John's books, Destroyed by the Events of the Day and Today Was Tomorrow, on Amazon https://link.amazon/B0dthUWCe (Amazon affiliate link), barnesandnoble.com, and Walmart.com. Follow him on Instagram @johninfortunio. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Distance, protection, and letting go show up in different ways in this one. Join the conversation in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why fiction, not memoir, for his father's Alzheimer's 02:58 Hiding behind characters for emotional protection 04:02 Balancing authenticity while still writing fiction 04:21 Editing as the real filter for truth 06:12 Trusting instinct instead of staying guarded 08:23 How teaching shaped his approach to writing 10:44 Growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn community 14:57 Caretaking for aging parents while raising his son 22:06 Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own 25:19 Watching his son grow into social and political awareness 28:22 Healthy disagreement and pushback with grown kids Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s)