The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living

Rick gave Clancy a trip to Los Angeles for Christmas, and we finally took it in September. This is our first trip as just the two of us since Mexico last year. The whole thing was built around one concert. The biggest highlight came from a tour Clancy found the Tuesday before we left, after our original plan fell through. That tour got us into hidden places on the Sunset Strip and the stories behind them, the kind you'd walk right past on your own. We also get into where we stayed, where we ate, and where to sit (and not sit) at the Hollywood Palladium. If you're thinking about a trip for two, especially one that doesn't have to wait for a school break, this is our list. What's in this episode: Our first book club, and the discussion guide we built for book clubs Why our gifts have shifted toward experiences The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour that became the highlight of the trip A rare book store with a signed Jaws screenplay LA's mocktail menus and a cocktail inspired by Dean Martin Griffith Park, the Hollywood sign, and a wander up Rodeo Drive Dinner six tables deep in a chef's own kitchen Santa Monica to Venice on foot, and brunch Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium Skip the rental car and fly out of Burbank Places and experiences mentioned in the episode: Rock and Walk Tours https://rocknwalktours.com/ Jeff Lewis Live show https://www.siriusxm.com/channels/the-jeff-lewis-channel BookSoup https://booksoup.com/ Rare book store https://www.mysterypierbooks.com/ Montrose at Beverly Hills https://www.montrosewesthollywood.com/ WeHo Bistro https://www.wehobistro.com/ Bar Next Door https://www.barnextdoor.com/ Da Barbara https://barbarapollastrini.com/ Met Her At A Bar https://www.metheratabar.com/ Katana LA https://www.katanarobata.com/ Book Club Guide (in FAQs) https://theloudquiet.com/book/ 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Got your own LA favorites, or questions about ours? Share them with us in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Thank you to our first book club 01:30 A Christmas gift and couples trip 04:15 The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour 10:48 Rare books and a signed Jaws screenplay 14:56 LA's mocktail menus and Bar Next Door 17:21 Griffith Park hike and Beverly Hills 20:56 Dinner in Da Barbara's home kitchen 25:03 Santa Monica, Venice and brunch 27:39 Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium 32:37 Uber, Burbank and traveling in September Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

John Infortunio writes about his father's Alzheimer's, and he chose fiction over memoir to do it. On this episode, he tells us why a character can hold what a memoir can't. John is a lifelong educator, a native Brooklynite, and the author of two novels drawn from his own life. We get into how he balances that authenticity with fiction, what actually happens in his editing process, and how growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn neighborhood shaped the way he writes. He also talks about caretaking for his aging parents while raising his son, and what it took to stop comparing his son's twenties to his own. What's in this episode: Why John chose fiction over memoir for his father's Alzheimer's How he balances personal authenticity with writing fiction His editing process, what gets cut and what gets built up Growing up in a community-rich Brooklyn neighborhood Caretaking for his parents while raising his son and building a career Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own Watching his son grow into his own political and social views You can find John's books, Destroyed by the Events of the Day and Today Was Tomorrow, on Amazon https://link.amazon/B0dthUWCe (Amazon affiliate link), barnesandnoble.com, and Walmart.com. Follow him on Instagram @johninfortunio. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Distance, protection, and letting go show up in different ways in this one. Join the conversation in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why fiction, not memoir, for his father's Alzheimer's 02:58 Hiding behind characters for emotional protection 04:02 Balancing authenticity while still writing fiction 04:21 Editing as the real filter for truth 06:12 Trusting instinct instead of staying guarded 08:23 How teaching shaped his approach to writing 10:44 Growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn community 14:57 Caretaking for aging parents while raising his son 22:06 Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own 25:19 Watching his son grow into social and political awareness 28:22 Healthy disagreement and pushback with grown kids Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s)

This is the second half of their relationship check in, questions Rick and Clancy come back to when it's been too long since the last one. They continue with the 5 love languages conversation, their lowest-ranked ones this time, and move into bigger questions about what the next five to ten years look like. It's easy to assume things are fine because nothing's actively wrong. A check-in surfaces what's actually going on underneath that, the parts that don't come up on their own until someone asks directly. What's in this episode: The different types of physical touch, and why "bedroom touch" isn't the whole picture Rick's lowest love language, receiving gifts, and why he doesn't reach for it naturally An old flowers misunderstanding that lasted a lot longer than it should have Travel, work, retirement, and where they might live next A timing gap in a relocation decision that came up mid-conversation The check-in questions from this two-part series: 1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence? 2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change? 3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task? 4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved? 5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating. 6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement? 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If this episode has you thinking about your own check-in questions, our Facebook group is a good place to talk through them with other empty nesters. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Five Love Languages Recap 03:30 Different Types of Touch Explained 06:00 Clancy's Highest: Comforting Touch 07:06 Rick's Lowest: Receiving Gifts 09:30 The Flowers Misunderstanding 13:30 Looking Toward The Next Decade 15:43 Relocating Versus Staying Near Kids 20:36 The Timing They Hadn't Discussed 21:41 Why The Check-In Matters Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

What does a relationship check-in look like in the empty nest? This episode, Rick and Clancy go through their actual check-in questions. Unrehearsed. Real reactions. They cover togetherness versus independence, what's working day to day and what they'd change, and whether they still talk about anything besides logistics and the kids. Then they get into the five love languages, comparing results and where they overlap and where they don't. Part two picks up with their lowest-ranked love languages and what the next five to ten years might look like. Want to run these check-in questions with your own partner? Here they are: 1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence? 2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change? 3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task? 4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved? 5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating. 6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement? Want to find your own love language? Take the quiz here: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Our book, The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, is available now. https://www.theloudquiet.com Join our Facebook group for empty nesters and tell us how your own check-in goes. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why relationship check-ins fade over time 02:15 Pre-crisis intervention vs annual check-in 03:29 Question 1: togetherness or independence 10:19 Question 2: what's working, what they'd change 14:27 Question 3: conversations beyond logistics 19:37 Question 4: how they feel loved, beginning 5 love languages 20:56 Clancy's top love language: acts of service 24:08 Rick's top love language: words of affirmation 26:18 Quality time, dreaming, and shared goals Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Your student isn't the only one at college who has someone in their corner, you might too, if you know who to call. Heather Deere spends her days on the other end of the phone calls families make when they can't tell if their student is really doing okay three states away. She's the Director of Family Engagement & Student Affairs Communications at William & Mary. In this episode, she walks Rick and Clancy through her coaching model, the shift from directing a student to consulting with one, and why she tells every incoming family that senior year is a sweet chapter nobody should rush through. What you'll learn in this episode: Why William & Mary uses a coaching model for their family engagement approach The most common calls Heather fields from families in the first six weeks How Heather's own first-gen college experience shapes her advice to families today Why she tells families to let their student take their foot off the gas senior year The one question to ask before stepping in to handle something for your student Want to learn more about William & Mary's family engagement approach? Visit wm.edu/families or follow along on Instagram at WM_families. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Join the conversation in our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Introducing Heather Deere and William & Mary 01:11 What a coaching model means for families 04:15 Day-to-day calls families actually make 06:26 How differently each kid communicates 08:04 Being a first-gen student shapes her approach 12:10 Encouraging families to enjoy senior year 16:33 What families really feel during move-in 21:14 Common issues in the first semester 23:44 Retroactive guilt over old advice26:31 The question to ask before stepping in 31:55 Where to learn more about William & Mary Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).