How to Set Boundaries When You’ve Never Set One Before | S2E14

Becky Mollenkamp joins Lauren for a conversation about why boundary setting can feel so threatening, especially for high-achieving women and people pleasers. Becky, author of Liberate Your Business and founder of the Feminist Podcasters Collective, breaks down how fear, conditioning, and culture shape the way we work, relate, and say no. They also get practical, with scripts and mindset checks for handling work messages after hours, declining expensive invitations, and responding when people guilt-trip or push back. Key Topics Why boundary setting can feel unsafe, even when there is no physical danger How fear of rejection is wired into the human brain How people-pleasing can stem from conditioning, rather than being a personal flaw Why self-acceptance matters alongside personal growth How hustle culture and extractive systems can encourage people to overextend themselves How emotional labor and resentment can signal a missing boundary Ways to set expectations early with bosses, friends, and partners What to do when someone pushes back or uses guilt How boundaries can help protect relationships from resentment Lauren’s experiences setting boundaries in corporate consulting and entrepreneurship Chapters (06:09) Why setting boundaries can feel terrifying for people pleasers (11:03) Self-acceptance instead of trying to remake yourself (12:25) Social expectations, the patriarchy, and who gets to set the standards (14:22) Hustle culture and extractive systems (16:55) Questions to ask about who benefits from your fear or self-denial (21:25) Noticing anxiety, resentment, and emotional load (24:42) How boundaries can protect relationships (26:17) Setting boundaries around after-hours work messages (31:24) Lauren’s experience setting work boundaries (34:48) Setting boundaries around expensive dinners or trips with friends (37:23) Responding to guilt trips and pushback (39:23) How boundaries can change or end relationships (41:41) Starting with small boundary wins Action items Name your boundary before a situation becomes a problem Clarify expectations around work hours and after-hours communication Notice resentment as a possible signal that a boundary needs attention Try simple “if/then” language when declining plans outside your budget If someone pushes back, consider restating your boundary, ending the conversation, or reevaluating the relationship Start with a small boundary and practice following through If you know someone who could benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them. As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback. You can also support the podcast by subscribing, rating, reviewing, and/or commenting on your favorite platform. Thank you! 🙂 Newsletter: ⁠https://thenakedtruthwithlauren.kit.com/newsletter⁠ Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thenakedtruth.pod⁠ Contact Us: ⁠https://www.thenakedtruthwithlauren.com/contact Connect with Becky: Feminist Podcasters Collective: https://feministpodcasterscollective.com/  Liberate Your Business Book: https://beckymollenkamp.com/book/  Her podcasts: https://smashingpatriarchy.com/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@becky-mollenkamp  Thank you to our partners this week: Cozy Earth: Get 21% off bamboo sheets, pajamas, & more with code TRUTH at https://promocode.to/cozy-earth/truth-4zy More Labs: Get 25% off clinically proven recovery energy drinks with code NAKED at https://promocode.to/more-labs/naked-tjj