Wiring or Parts? ADHD and IFS with Carol Shilliday

On this week's episode I'm excited to chat with Dr. Carol Shilliday, a clinical psychologist, IFS assistant trainer, and author of the new book Inside ADHD: An Internal Family Systems Workbook to Understand Your Parts and Emotionally Thrive. We discuss ADHD, shame, acceptance, and keeping a spare set of keys. Takeaways Is it brain wiring or parts? Yes. IFS lets us stay curious instead of picking one "Am I ADHD enough?" Not struggling as much as someone else doesn't mean you're not struggling The compensation and anxiety link Traits that come with ADHD get labeled as character flaws: lazy, too much, not enough Overachievers, perfectionists, and maskers often polarize with parts that burn out or give up Strategies don't stick until there's acceptance Healing the shame makes room for what works Low estrogen lowers dopamine, so hormones amplify ADHD for women Advice for partners and mixed neurotype relationships Opportunties to learn from Carol Join Carol in February 2027 for IFS and ADHD: Clarity and Healing, a two-day online workshop focused on working with ADHD clients in neuroaffirming ways. Find Carol Website Book About Carol Carol Shilliday, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience. She is an IFS assistant trainer, Level 3 certified IFS therapist, and IFS approved clinical consultant who specializes in working with adults with ADHD. She runs groups for IFS therapists and practitioners with ADHD and for those who want to lead their own IFS groups. She is the author of Inside ADHD: An Internal Family Systems Workbook to Understand Your Parts and Emotionally Thrive. Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Souliology. Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits. Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve. Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Eight years later, that's still at the heart of all we do. Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a writer, producer, and IFS Level 2 practitioner who helps therapists, coaches, and teachers shape and share their story. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.