Your Teen Is Hurting: How to Get Them to Open Up

When your child or teen is in an emotional crisis or actively hurting themselves, your reaction in the first 60 seconds determines whether they open up—or hide their behavior in secret. In this episode of The Parent Tap, Dr. Blaise Aguirre—Founding Medical Director of McLean Hospital’s 3East DBT Center, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and author of "I Hate Myself" and "Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents"—breaks down the exact clinical playbook for de-escalating emotional storms at home. WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: • Why parental escalation pours fuel on the fire—and how to regulate yourself before 6:00 PM meltdowns hit • How "shame labels" ("lazy," "dramatic," "messy") permanently encode into a child's developing brain • The critical difference between normal teen moodiness and acute self-harm warning signs • Why showing judgment when a teen is cutting forces the behavior underground • How to survive the "extinction burst" when taking away a child's screen or tablet • The "Golf Cart vs. Porsche" brain: Why fathers often misread high-sensitivity emotional pain in their kids 📚 RESOURCES & GUEST LINKS: • Dr. Blaise Aguirre's Books ("I Hate Myself" & "Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents"): https://www.amazon.com/stores/Blaise-... • More Defensive Parenting Playbooks: https://parenttap.io 🆘 CRISIS & SUPPORT RESOURCES: If you, your child, or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis, help is available 24/7. • Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat at https://988lifeline.org • Text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line. Music: ‪@LanaCrow‬ #ParentingTeens #TeenMentalHealth #SelfHarmAwareness #DBT #EmotionalRegulation #TheParentTap Send us Fan Mail Support the show JOIN THE SYSTEM Get operator blueprints: parenttap.io | [email protected] THE PARENT TAP Music by Edgars Bukovskis — www.edgarsbukovskis.com Music by Lana Crow — https://www.youtube.com/@LanaCrow CONNECT YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheParentTap Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheParentTap TikTok: https://www.instagram.com/theparenttappod Instagram: @TheParentTapPod X: https://x.com/theparenttap Reading List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/19F2YVH0CLDH9 If today's SOP gave you a system, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It’s the #1 way to help other high-performing parents find the playbook.