Ep. 11 - Your Past Patterns Don't Have to Be Your Future Patterns with The Self Coaching Model with Kari Watterson

What might become possible in your life if you could learn to respond differently to the things that have been holding you back? Maybe you've been putting something off, second-guessing yourself, avoiding a difficult conversation, or struggling to change a behavior you've repeated for years. You can see where you are. You can imagine where you'd like to be. But no matter how much you want things to be different, you keep finding yourself on the same side of a gap you can't seem to cross. And that can be painful. Especially when you've tried, perhaps many times, to change. You know what matters to you. You want to move forward. But when your efforts keep bringing you back to familiar patterns, it's easy to become discouraged—and begin doubting your ability to change at all. What if part of finding a way across that gap is learning to understand how you've been responding to life—and discovering that those familiar responses aren't your only options? In this solo episode of The Practice Ground, Kari introduces the Self Coaching Model, a practical framework created by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School, for understanding how our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results are connected—and how those connections shape our experiences. The Model helps us slow down and examine how an experience unfolded: what happened, what we thought about it, how we felt, what we did, and what resulted. As we begin to recognize those connections, patterns that once seemed automatic or difficult to understand can become more visible. And when we can see how an experience unfolded, change can begin to feel less mysterious and less out of reach. But understanding is only the beginning. The Model doesn't change our lives for us. It helps us develop the awareness and skills to participate more deliberately in changing them. Through everyday examples and a step-by-step demonstration, Kari shows how we can use the Model to understand familiar patterns, recognize where we may have more choice, and begin experimenting with different responses. And as we practice, something else becomes possible: we can begin developing capabilities that extend far beyond the particular problem we're trying to solve. We can learn to face discouragement without automatically giving up. Navigate uncertainty without always retreating. Learn from unwanted results without turning them into verdicts about who we are. Each new response gives us another experience to learn from—and potentially new evidence about what we're capable of doing. Over time, we're not simply changing individual behaviors or solving individual problems. We're developing capabilities that can change how we experience ourselves, how we approach life's challenges, and what we believe is possible for our futures. What you'll hear inside the episode: why the same circumstances can lead to different experiences—and how our thinking contributes to those differences how the five parts of the Self Coaching Model—Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, and Result (CTFAR)—help us understand how our experiences unfold why separating what happened from what we're making it mean can help us recognize possibilities we might otherwise miss how familiar thoughts, feelings, and actions can reinforce patterns that keep us from moving toward what matters to us why becoming an observer of our own experience helps us recognize thoughts without automatically treating them as facts how an unintentional model helps us understand an existing pattern, while an intentional model helps us explore different responses why we don't necessarily have to wait until we feel differently before we begin acting differently how experimenting with new responses can create new experiences—and new evidence about what we're capable of doing why how we experience ourselves while pursuing our goals matters alongside whether we achieve them how practicing the Model can help us develop capabilities that extend beyond any one problem, goal, or circumstance The Self Coaching Model isn't simply a tool for understanding why we've responded the way we have. It's a skill we can develop and continue practicing throughout our lives—one that can help us become more capable of navigating challenges, pursuing what matters to us, and participating deliberately in creating the lives we want to live. Our past patterns may help explain how we've learned to respond to life. They don't have to determine what's possible for our future. Explore the Self Coaching Model from another perspective This episode is a companion to Episode 10 — How to Coach Yourself Through Any Problem with The Self Coaching Model with Ken Li. Ken and Kari bring complementary perspectives and examples to the Model. Listen to both episodes to explore different ways you can begin understanding and applying this life-changing tool in your own life. See the Self Coaching Model in action Video | Kari Watterson & Ken Li | The Self Coaching Model: How it Works ---- Ken Li is a confidence coach. Connect with Ken on LinkedIn, where he regularly shares mindset tools, resources, and strategies to help professionals who second-guess themselves feel as confident inside as they look. Kari Watterson is a mindset and habits coach. Connect with Kari on Instagram (@theadhdhabittrainer), where she shares her ongoing series, The Habit Training Diaries, or visit KariWatterson.com.