<description>&lt;p id="p-rc_4cb1325494134c18-28" data-path-to-node="3"&gt;&lt;span class= "citation-61"&gt;Welcome back to the second half of our first session with Rachel and Mike&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class= "citation-61 citation-end-61"&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="1"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="1"&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span data-path-to-node="3,3"&gt;.&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span class="citation-60"&gt;After Rachel courageously opens up about her deep grief and abandonment fears, the emotional stakes in the room are high&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class= "citation-60 citation-end-60"&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="2"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="2"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="2"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="2"&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span data-path-to-node="3,7"&gt;.&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span class="citation-59"&gt;For an Avoidant partner like Mike, this is a terrifying moment&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span class= "citation-59 citation-end-59"&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="3"&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span data-path-to-node="3,11"&gt;.&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span class="citation-58"&gt;Instead of leaning into the emotion, his natural instinct is to run to the safety of his intellect—over-explaining, rationalizing, and trying to "fix" the problem to make the discomfort stop&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class= "citation-58 citation-end-58"&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="4"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="4"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="4"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="4"&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span data-path-to-node="3,15"&gt;.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p data-path-to-node="3"&gt;&lt;span class="citation-57"&gt;In this episode, we slow everything down to understand the overwhelming physical tension and fear of failure that drives Mike's avoidance&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class= "citation-57 citation-end-57"&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="5"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="5"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="5"&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;sup class="superscript" data-turn-source-index="5"&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span data-path-to-node="4,3"&gt;.&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span class="citation-56"&gt;We reach a profound breakthrough as we uncover the truth behind the Avoidant struggle: Mike isn't abandoning Rachel because he doesn't care; he is leaving her because he doesn't know how to stay with himself.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li data-path-to-node="3"&gt;Follow Julie Menanno on social media &lt;a title="@thesecurerelationship" href= "https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/"&gt;@thesecurerelationship.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li data-path-to-node="3"&gt;For weekly homework assignments visit our website: &lt;a href= "https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/the-secure-love-podcast"&gt;The Secure Relationship Podcast&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li data-path-to-node="3"&gt;Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: &lt;a href= "https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/courses-attachment-theory-relationship-growth"&gt;Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li data-path-to-node="3"&gt;Purchase Julie's book &lt;a href= "https://www.amazon.com/dp/1668012863?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_95Z7KH3D3PT1N4YNJENP&amp;ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_95Z7KH3D3PT1N4YNJENP&amp;social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_95Z7KH3D3PT1N4YNJENP&amp;bestFormat=true&amp;previewDoh=1"&gt;Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime. &lt;/a&gt; &lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt;&lt;!----&gt; &lt;!----&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno

S3 | Session 2: Escaping to the Head When the Heart Gets Scared

MAR 3, 202636 MIN
The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

S3 | Session 2: Escaping to the Head When the Heart Gets Scared

MAR 3, 202636 MIN

Description

Welcome back to the second half of our first session with Rachel and Mike . After Rachel courageously opens up about her deep grief and abandonment fears, the emotional stakes in the room are high . For an Avoidant partner like Mike, this is a terrifying moment . Instead of leaning into the emotion, his natural instinct is to run to the safety of his intellect—over-explaining, rationalizing, and trying to "fix" the problem to make the discomfort stop . In this episode, we slow everything down to understand the overwhelming physical tension and fear of failure that drives Mike's avoidance . We reach a profound breakthrough as we uncover the truth behind the Avoidant struggle: Mike isn't abandoning Rachel because he doesn't care; he is leaving her because he doesn't know how to stay with himself. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.