The Small Bow Podcast

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Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

Recent Episodes

OCT 7, 2026
“The Ground Hurts” | Hard Lessons with Comedian Nick Thune
From a rehab that burned down to a fall from a second story window, Nick Thune has escaped death many times. He’s found a way to tell his story that makes space for the terror he felt in the depths of addiction and the compassion he now feels for the person he used to be. Nick spins a good yarn, and there’s a lot of those in this episode— featuring broken limbs, petting babies, gang leaders, and much more. Plus, we talk about how to raise a child who lives without fear (in a good way). 00:00:00 Early rehab, fighting, and the padded room 00:05:08 Getting expelled and surviving high school 00:10:27 Late night habits and early drinking culture 00:15:30 Malibu fires and finding alcohol in the evacuation house 00:20:18 Transitioning out of treatment and facing real life temptations 00:26:07 Dealing with health consequences and long term lung damage 00:30:46 Opioid withdrawal in Kenya and dangerous tour injuries 00:35:30 Standup comedy on pain pills and performing post injury 00:39:24 Writing comedy in treatment and severe panic attacks 00:44:16 Parenting through recovery and teaching accountability 00:48:51 Postponing emotional pain and shameful bender stories 00:51:12 Finding peace in fatherhood and balancing work travel Topics: Long-term recovery and managing addiction Comedy as an early recovery analogue Physical impacts of severe alcoholism Navigating pill use and opiate withdrawal Surviving relapse and second rehabilitation Nicotine dependency and chewing tobacco Parenting and fatherhood as sobriety anchors Engagement with AA meetings and sponsees Managing mental health through therapy Overcoming character defects and growth #NickThune #AddictionRecovery #SoberLife #FatherhoodInRecovery #MentalHealthMatters #12StepRecovery #SoberComedian #PersonalGrowth #overcomingaddiction New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098
84 MIN
SEP 30, 2026
I Was an Oddball Who Wanted to Be Loved | Rainn Wilson
Rainn Wilson is best-known for his role as Dwight Schrute on The Office and his Soul Boom Podcast. He’s a serious, thoughtful guy who had the strange experience of becoming an international celebrity almost overnight. We talk about how the experience of sudden fame dovetailed with his addiction and how AA and a return to his Bahai faith have helped him to find his footing again. Plus, we discuss his recent OCD diagnosis, why he’s grateful for the worst box office bomb of his career and the strangest gift he’s received from a fan. 00:00:00 From childhood loneliness to an iconic TV role 00:04:44 Pushing past surface acting into deep character work 00:09:33 Finding gratitude in the wake of box office bombs 00:14:19 Navigating hollywood perception and true movie stardom 00:19:08 Confronting fame and the Dwight Schrute identity trap 00:23:56 Unpacking late onset OCD and mental hijacking 00:28:45 Rewiring danger centers through exposure response therapy 00:33:30 Anchoring recovery through daily bahai prayer 00:38:15 Overcoming workaholism, shame, and constant pressure 00:43:02 Navigating the line of healthy creative ambition 00:47:51 Evolving from actor to modern spiritual storyteller 00:52:39 Sharing personal stories to help others heal Topics: Unpacking late onset OCD and brain loops Using exposure response therapy for ocd Managing mental hijacking and anxiety Practicing daily surrender in 12 steps Strengthening recovery with bahai prayer Balancing creative ambition and work Overcoming workaholism and high pressure Decoding the illusion of hollywood fame Evolving from actor to modern storyteller Sharing personal stories to help heal #RainnWilson #SoulBoom #MentalHijacking #ExposureResponseTherapy #LateOnsetOCD #DailySurrender #CreativeAmbition #WorkaholismRecovery #HollywoodFame #BahaiPrayer #EmotionalSobriety #storytellerlife New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098
58 MIN
SEP 23, 2026
Jim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with Death
Please Note: This episode discusses heavy themes, including suicide and mental health struggles. If you are experiencing distress, please utilize the free, confidential resources below. United States & Canada: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. International: Find free, immediate support lines specific to your country at https://findahelpline.com If you are in the music industry, you can contact Backline: Call 855-BLINE99 or text 254-639 Please prioritize your well-being. Help is always available. Fans like me know Jim James as the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter of My Morning Jacket, as well as through his solo work. This week, Jim stops by the show to promote his new solo album Wowed Out and for a frank conversation about mental illness, his path to sobriety and how he copes when depression derails his day. We also talk about his experience with EMDR, parts work and psychedelic therapies, and why sleep is still a challenge for both of us. September is Recovery Month as well as Suicide Prevention Month, and I’m grateful to Jim for his candor in discussing all of the above. 00:00:00 Normalizing therapy and finding the right practitioner 00:04:44 Processing trauma with EMDR and parts work 00:09:33 Unlearning control issues to become a better collaborator 00:14:19 Overcoming toxic competition in the music industry 00:19:08 Shifting from aggressive ambition to collective gratitude 00:23:56 Sitting with depression and learning to accept dark emotions 00:28:45 Mental health hotlines and building personal support networks 00:33:30 Reframing suicidal ideation as a manageable health condition 00:38:15 Generational cycles and destigmatizing therapy for children 00:43:02 Navigating depressive episodes and responsibilities 00:47:51 Chronic sleep struggles and nighttime anxiety on tour 00:52:39 Letting go of creative outcomes and surrendering to the universe Topics: Shopping for the right therapist EMDR therapy, trauma healing, and parts work Genetic predisposition to high alcohol tolerance Sitting with depression daily and treating it with compassion Understanding mental illness & how to talk about it Overcoming industry competition Open dialogue on suicidal thoughts Crisis hotlines and learning to dialogue about depression Managing chronic insomnia and sharing sleep routines Releasing creative control and surrendering to universe #JimJames #MyMorningJacket #DepressionAwareness#AlcoholismRecovery #EMDRTherapy #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #SelfCompassion #InsomniaRelief #MusicianMentalHealth New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098
61 MIN
SEP 16, 2026
Yassir Lester Doesn’t Want the Phone to Ring
Have you ever jumped when the phone rings? Yassir Lester does it every time. The writer and comedian (Girls, Black Monday, The Carmichael Show) stops by for a conversation about anxiety, success, growing up poor and how to deal with the fear of surprise. Plus, we talk about why quitting drinking made him a better comedian and the fuzzy line between being courageous and being reckless. I could talk to Yassir for hours, this is a fun one. 00:00:00 Reverse imposter syndrome and industry self-doubt 00:05:33 Comparing test scores and overcoming appearance insecurities 00:10:48 Debt culture and finding creative satisfaction 00:16:08 Balancing business growth with artistic integrity 00:21:30 Driven by competition and the clarity of sobriety 00:26:55 Aiming for perfection while staying grounded through mistakes 00:32:25 Money mindsets and changing family perspectives 00:37:49 Breaking old habits through intense self-reflection 00:43:14 Facing sudden industry success and career shifts 00:48:38 Managing schedule anxiety and coping with bad news 00:54:02 Phone call anxiety and shifting mindset 00:59:26 Finding humor in uncertainty and unpredictable disasters Topics Balancing scale with creative ambition How sobriety improved Yassir's stand-up comedy Striving to be the best like Jordan Distinguishing bravery from recklessness The asymmetric risk model for artists Overcoming fear of failure and losing Why sincere apologies count as winning Trusting personal timing for success Anxiety around phone calls and fear Living in the present and not bracing for bad news #CreativeAmbition #AsymmetricRisk #SobrietyStory #StandUpComedy #AnxietyRelief #OverthinkingAndFear #MindsetShift #FinancialAnxiety #ArtAndCommerce #YassirLester #WriterInterview New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098
67 MIN
SEP 9, 2026
I Spent My Sober Anniversary Avoiding a Video of Perez Hilton | Carey O’Donnell
Carey O’Donnell celebrated 10 years of continuous sobriety on the same day Perez Hilton bloodied himself on TikTok Live. Perfect time to come on this show and talk about anniversaries, celebrities and the gnarlier side of addiction. Carey and I both experienced our darkest moments in New York and this episode is full of those memories: 42 minute train delays, yelling your opinion at book club and hoping no one notices, the shame of taking folded laundry back to the laundromat… Plus, hamburger costumes, peeing in elevators and spending hours at the DSW in Union Square. There’s a lot of gross stuff in this episode and also a lot of laughter. Here's Carey on Perez: https://careyodonnell.substack.com/p/pereznnial-horror 00:00:00 Early addiction chaos and Halloween memories 00:03:18 Reflecting on nostalgia and living in New York 00:05:30 Court cases, early recovery, and wild habits 00:10:37 Funny meth stories and extreme behavior 00:14:36 Unpacking viral pop culture media moments 00:18:23 Navigating ego, empathy, and public drama 00:22:18 Pandemic struggles and virtual meetings 00:26:18 Disaster benchmarks and fear of hangovers 00:30:39 The reality of messy lifestyle habits 00:35:05 Late nights, shameful moments, and growth 00:39:40 Sleep routines, career stress, and anxiety 00:43:30 Spiritual rock bottom and recommitting #CareyODonnell #12Step #AddictionStory #RelapseRecovery #SoberStories#Y2KInternet #PerezHIltonEssay #Deadspin #Gawker #WriterInterview #LongTermRecovery #RecoveryMonth Topics Carey O'Donnell on ten years of sobriety Transitioning from New York to Los Angeles Early recovery struggles and program chaos Unpacking viral media and pop culture drama Relapse experiences and dark summer phases The reality of chaotic lifestyle habits Overcoming isolation during the pandemic Facing spiritual rock bottom on Halloween Recommitting to 12-step recovery programs Finding peace, clarity, and personal growth New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098
49 MIN