Jess Mills on processing the grief of her mother Tessa Jowell

How do you process grief and find your way forward after the death of the person who made you feel most at home in the world? Musician, author, and CEO of the Tessa Jowell Foundation, Jess Mills, joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss the loss of her mother, former Labour MP and cabinet minister Dame Tessa Jowell. Together, they explore how profound grief reshapes our understanding of motherhood, family, and identity. Just ten weeks after giving birth to her first daughter, Jess learned her mother had terminal brain cancer. Already navigating anxiety following a traumatic birth, she found herself balancing the intense joy of new motherhood with caring for her dying mother. In this episode, she reflects on the overwhelming grief that followed, the complexities of family mourning, and the difficult decision to sell their family home. Eight years on, Jess shares how her processing of grief has evolved, why writing her book We Are Each Other helped her make sense of the tragedy, and how she is learning to embrace a new chapter in life. Join Jess and Julia as they delve into how grief transforms us, why feeling loved is essential, and how our ongoing relationships with those who have died continue to shape our emotional growth. Jess also shares the extraordinary comfort of knowing there was nothing left unsaid between her and her mother, whose final words were simply: “love forever.” Please note: This episode contains discussions of terminal illness, traumatic childbirth, anxiety, and bereavement. Support resources: Cruse Bereavement Support The Good Grief Trust Mentioned in this episode: We Are Each Other by Jess Mills The Tessa Jowell Foundation Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Jess Mills on grief, motherhood and love 01:03 Writing We Are Each Other 03:15 Finding permission to move forward after grief 06:31 Becoming a mother while her own mother was dying 10:39 How grief and joy can coexist 12:42 Why love builds resilience 17:26 Why grief isn't linear 19:01 Learning to live alongside grief 21:20 How families grieve differently 43:22 Mother & Daughter Reflection: Julia, Sophie and Emily 48:04 Finding meaning and purpose after grief 51:43 When birth and death happen together 55:43 How love and trauma pass through generations If you found this conversation helpful: You may also enjoy Julia's conversation with Rosanna Brown, exploring profound grief, the impact of bereavement on family life and finding a way forward after tragedy. Listen to the episode here. Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Watch Therapy Works on Julia's YouTube channel and subscribe to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional wellbeing. Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism. Guest: Jess Mills Producer: Georgie Rutherford Executive Producer: Emily Leahy Video Producer: Darren Michael Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.