Ore Oduba on hiding his addiction: “I lived my entire life in fear”

How does childhood trauma fuel adult addiction? Broadcaster, actor and former Strictly Come Dancing champion Ore Oduba joins psychotherapist Julia Samuel to discuss his 30-year struggle with pornography addiction, childhood trauma, shame and the journey towards mental health recovery. Growing up in a strict Nigerian household, Ore learnt that achievement and obedience were closely tied to acceptance. After being exposed to pornography at just nine years old, he developed a dependency that followed him into adulthood. What began as a secret source of comfort became a cycle of addiction, shame and self-loathing that affected his mental health, relationships and sense of identity. Ore opens up about the breakdown of relationships, reaching a point where he questioned whether he wanted to carry on living, and how therapy helped him understand the connection between childhood experiences and addictive behaviour. He also reflects on his complicated relationship with his father, whose death in 2023 brought an unexpected sense of relief, and the realisation that so many of his decisions had been driven by fear. In a deeply moving part of the conversation, Ore discusses losing his younger sister to suicide in 2025, the grief he continues to carry and how her death gave him the courage to speak publicly about his addiction. Together, Ore Oduba and Julia Samuel explore the psychological roots of addiction, the lasting impact of childhood trauma, and why self-compassion is essential to breaking patterns of shame and secrecy. They also discuss the risks of childhood exposure to pornography, breaking generational cycles and what it means to rebuild a life on your own terms. Warning: this conversation contains some discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Support resources mentioned: NSPCC Helpline – Advice and support for anyone concerned about a child's safety. Call 0808 800 5000. NSPCC Talk PANTS – Resources to help parents talk to children about body safety and boundaries. Samaritans – Free emotional support, available 24 hours a day on 116 123. Sources discussed: Naked Truth Impact Report 2021-22 Children's Commissioner paper on pornography 2023 If you found this conversation helpful: Listen to Julia's conversation with Charles Spencer, exploring childhood trauma, shame and the lasting impact of abuse on relationships and self-worth. You may also enjoy Agony Aunties: Why Do I Keep Sabotaging Myself?, on how childhood experiences shape our adult behaviour, why we develop destructive coping mechanisms and the importance of self-compassion in breaking old patterns. Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional wellbeing. Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism. Guest: Ore Oduba Producer: Georgie Rutherford Executive Producer: Emily Leahy Video Producer: Darren Michael Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.