90: Financial Infidelity: The Money Secret That Can Wreck a Marriage | Vivian Cobb

When Vivian Cobb's husband was dying, she finally opened the bank statements — and discovered they were broke. The multi-millionaire life he'd built was a facade: drained accounts, cash advances, a lapsed life insurance policy, and a house four months from foreclosure. She calls what he did financial infidelity, and she argues it's far more common, and more destructive, than most couples admit. In this conversation, Vivian returns to Titans of Transition to talk about the hidden money secrets that quietly erode a marriage — and how to have the honest financial conversations that protect it. We get into what financial infidelity really is, why it's rooted in fear rather than money, the difference between a scarcity and an abundance money mindset, and how to start "the most expensive conversation you're avoiding" without turning it into a fight. Vivian is a keynote speaker, real estate broker, and author of the new book "Unspoken Costs: How to Have Relationship-Saving Money Conversations." Her thesis is simple: hard conversations don't break trust — avoiding them does. If money is a source of silence or tension in your relationship, this one's for you. Music licensed through Soundstripe. Codes: J6RDIN5KLDXV2VVN, QNIWTDM7NFNFWBOQ 📘 Vivian's book, "Unspoken Costs": https://amzn.to/4i6DOmn  🌐 Vivian's website: https://www.viviancobbspeaking.com/  🎥 Vivian on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@viviancobbspeaking  🔗 Connect with Vivian on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/viviancobb/ As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Titans of Transition explores how leaders navigate career and life transitions. Hosted by Joe Miller, Career & Leadership Coach. 🎧 Follow Titans of Transition in your podcast app so you never miss an episode. 🌐 Interested in coaching with Joe? https://www.leadershipinklings.com/coaching ⏱ Chapters 0:00 'We were broke' — the moment at the bank 0:39 Welcome back — six years later 1:02 Why she wrote 'Unspoken Costs' 3:10 The wake-up call: could your spouse find the accounts? 6:25 Financial infidelity, defined 7:14 Keeping up the facade: country club vs. the mortgage 8:09 After he died: foreclosure and losing the house 9:57 We never know tomorrow — don't put it off 12:41 Almost dying (COVID) and finding her mission 13:29 Turning pain into purpose 16:47 Still emotional: the season he died 21:14 Inside the book: it starts with fear 22:33 Denial — 'I was afraid of the answer' 23:18 Your money mindset: abundance vs. scarcity 26:23 The most expensive conversation you're avoiding 30:10 'You can't take it with you' — the near-death lesson 32:38 How to start the money talk without a fight 35:41 Make it routine: from weekly check-ins to quarterly 36:49 The 'no-ask' budget (and keeping it playful) 42:02 Why it's the men who come to her 44:11 Wrapping up — and what's next (a book series) 45:01 Where to find Vivian