Raised to Push Through: ADHD, Perimenopause and Gen X Burnout

We were taught to keep going. Work hard. Be useful. Be pleasant. Find a way to make it all fit. A lot of us got very good at that. We also got very good at hiding how much it took. In this episode of Transforming 45, I’m joined by Erin Wong, a former tech executive and the founder of Thriving Minds at Work. We talk about what happens when the demands of midlife meet changing capacity, and why women who have managed for years may start asking new questions about ADHD, burnout and the way their brains work. We get into the effort of masking, the grief that can arrive alongside change, and the pressure to measure our worth by what we get done. Erin also shares a practical way to think about restoration: finding things that give something back to you, whether you have a minute or a whole afternoon. In this conversation: Erin’s move from a corporate career into executive function coaching. The overlapping demands of work, parenting, caregiving and midlife change. Shame, burnout and the feeling that you did everything you were supposed to do. Why a conversation about getting organised can also be a conversation about rest and self-compassion. Questions about ADHD that can surface in midlife, and the importance of professional assessment. Masking, belonging and the different levels of safety people have at work. Finding restorative activities that suit your life and the time you actually have. Looking more closely at the discomfort that can come with choosing rest. Asking for help and talking about a difficult day without sharing more than you want to. Chapters 00:00 Taking off the mask in midlife 01:16 Meet Erin Wong 02:17 From corporate burnout to supporting women 03:47 Perimenopause, executive function and midlife overload 08:07 “I checked every box. Why am I not happy?” 11:12 Why being busy can keep us from feeling 16:39 Why women start questioning ADHD in midlife 18:09 When your coping strategies stop working 20:31 Sponsor: Dotty Clothing 21:43 Why ADHD gets missed in girls and women 23:28 Masking, rejection and showing up at work 26:23 Who am I underneath the mask? 29:34 Rethinking productivity, rest and restoration 33:14 Is it guilt—or discomfort? 34:01 One small step when you’re overwhelmed 36:05 How to talk about a hard day at work 38:29 Closing takeaways: compassion, rest and joy A place to begin: Think of one thing that leaves you feeling a little more like yourself. How much time does it need? A minute, five minutes, twenty minutes? Start a small list you can return to on the days when choosing feels hard. About Erin: Erin Wong is a former tech executive and the founder of Thriving Minds at Work, an executive function coaching company. She works with women navigating challenges including ADHD, burnout and the menopause transition, helping them build sustainable ways to get organised, stay focused and manage work and home life. Her approach draws on more than twenty years in the corporate world and her own midlife experience. Connect with Erin: Website: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-wong-%E2%98%95-6102a316/ Book a conversation: https://calendly.com/erin-thrivingmindsatwork/30min Free Overwhelm Reset Guide (email signup; joins Erin’s community): https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/lm-overwhelm-rest Newsletter: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/sub-to-comm-lp Paid journal: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/journal Connect with Lisa: Website: https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lboate/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Transforming45 Follow Transforming 45 in your listening app, or subscribe on YouTube. If this conversation brings someone to mind, send it her way. Content note: This conversation includes burnout, grief, masking, trauma responses and mental health. Erin is an executive function coach, not a clinician providing diagnosis in this episode. The conversation is educational and does not provide individual medical advice. Changes in attention, memory or mood deserve appropriate assessment; a podcast cannot tell you whether you have ADHD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices