Reclaiming Your Voice in Midlife with Barbara McAfee

What parts of yourself have you learned to keep quiet? Voice coach, author and singer-songwriter Barbara McAfee joins Lisa Boate for a conversation about finding your voice in midlife, letting go of old expectations and making room for more of who you are. Barbara talks about the grief that can come with change, the fear of singing in front of other people and the lasting effect of being told your voice does not belong. We explore her five-element approach to vocal expression, what it means to be heard and how music can help us notice the people and moments we might otherwise pass by. There is humour here, and room for the hard stuff. A conversation for anyone getting curious about what she wants to say next. In this episode: Letting go of who you thought you were supposed to be Welcoming back the younger, wilder and less polished parts of yourself Grief, self-criticism and the expectations we carry into midlife Barbara’s experience of changing vocal capacity as she gets older Earth, fire, water, metal and air in her Five Elements Framework The story of a woman who sang happy birthday to her sons after years of believing she could not sing Camp songs, memory and the experience of singing together Barbara’s personal reframe for stage fright Making things we love and allowing ourselves to appreciate them Listening for someone’s intention as well as their words Chapters: 00:00 Preview and show intro 01:15 Welcome and introducing Barbara McAfee 01:40 Why women feel they lose their voice in midlife 03:46 Welcoming the parts of yourself you have kept quiet 05:06 Grief and the way we talk to ourselves 09:05 Letting go of the life you expected 11:38 Seeing the pattern in your life 13:41 A changing voice and room to play 16:39 Feeling safe enough to speak freely 16:55 Barbara’s five elements of vocal expression 18:27 How we respond to tone of voice 20:19 Dottie sponsor break 21:36 How our voices affect one another 23:12 The lasting impact of being told you cannot sing 24:45 Camp songs and the memories we carry 28:06 Why singing can feel so vulnerable 29:15 Barbara’s reframe for stage fright 32:13 Giving your wildness room 33:57 Appreciating what you create 35:21 Music and noticing the people around us 36:57 Rapid fire: water and a voice that keeps growing 37:58 What being heard really means 38:54 Where to connect with Barbara and closing About Barbara Barbara McAfee is a voice coach, author, keynote speaker and singer-songwriter with more than 30 years of experience in vocal coaching and performance. She is the author of Full Voice and Vocal Intelligence and the founder of the Morning Star Singers volunteer hospice choir. Connect with Barbara Website and coaching: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/ Books: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/store.html Five Elements practices: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/vocal-intelligence.html Music: https://barbaramcafee.bandcamp.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/mcafeemusic Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barbaramcafeesings/ Connect with Lisa Website: https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lboate/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Transforming45 Follow Transforming 45 in your listening app. If this conversation brings someone to mind, send it her way. Content note: This episode includes strong language and discussion of grief and death. Barbara shares her own experiences and approach to voice work. This conversation is not individual medical advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices