Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic Adults | Podcast Guru

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Wired Divergent is a podcast for autistic & AuDHD adults who spent a long time being a version of themselves that was never really them and understand how harmful and exhausting this can be. Host Jen deHaan is an AuDHD trauma-informed certified coach and long term educator (degree and further certification) in a variety of spaces. Masking is a form of scripting, planning and performance that a lot of neurodivergent people learn early on that often leads to exhaustion and burnout. This podcast focuses on where those things meet: unmasking, shame reduction, and confidence within a world that keeps treating us as the problem. Expect masking and autistic burnout, late-identified or late-diagnosed life, and self-trust, social confidence and getting out of your own head, and the shame that originated from society and communities around you. Some episodes discuss why something happens, and other episodes contain one easy tool or idea to try on your own. All of it comes from an AuDHD person talking to autistic & AuDHD people (you!), with no pathologizing and no fixing. We will be unmasking and unraveling any remaining long-internalized shame together. New episodes released on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The Thursday episodes offer a guided nervous system regulation practice (and is inclusive of those with limited interoception and/or alexithymia). If you want to work on these things, such as unmasking and confidence building, alongside other people, Jen runs workshops about all of this and is developing an asynchronous one to one coaching practice. Head to jendehaan.com for more information. There are separate videos on Jen's YouTube about the same topics. About: Jen deHaan is an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) trauma-informed certified coach, producer, and improviser based in British Columbia, with a background in creative education. She has close to 30 years in creative work and over a decade teaching improv and performance. She coaches one to one and runs workshops for autistic and AuDHD adults building confidence and understanding. Jen is also writing, producing, and hosting a TV show called Grounded for Optik+ and Telus STORYHIVE about neurodivergent brains and nervous system regulation. Her show will launch and stream in 2027. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

Recent Episodes

[Regulation Practice] Gentle Movement Practice to Loosen Tension After Masking All Day

This is a 5-minute movement practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, a gentle follow-along for the end of the day. If your body has been holding tension since the morning, from sitting or from masking around other people all day, this practice is for loosening some of that. This isn't a workout or a stretch routine. I offer some easy options, shaking out your hands, rolling your shoulders, some slow neck and torso movements, reaching up, and then a moment to add whatever movement your own body is asking for. Everything is an invitation, so move in whatever way works for you and skip anything that doesn't. Your body might feel a bit looser at the end, or about the same, and both are fine. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:01 The practice begins 7:54 Coming back to the room 8:24 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. About This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

9 MIN

Autistic and AuDHD Adults: Two Interrupting Problems, Patterns & Options Explained

Interrupting can go wrong for autistic and AuDHD adults in two very different ways, and the usual advice to just speak up only helps with one of them. In this episode I go through why a thought can vanish the moment someone cuts in, why jumping into a group conversation might not work for a lot of us, and what I've tried for both. I describe the two different situations involved with this idea, and then I go through a handful of options I've tried, for one-on-one conversations and for group settings, including one that came out of improv and one that I think is the least ideal but still counts. I also give you a test to run over the week for whether any of this is helping, or whether it's just more masking, which you might not want more of in your life. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why a thought can disappear completely the moment you get interrupted, and when that tends to happen Why waiting for the right pause in a group conversation can cost so much afterward What to say to a trusted person so you can keep the floor while you work a thought out How to get an assist in a group setting when jumping in on your own isn't available to you A test for whether your speaking up strategy is helping or just adding more masking CHAPTERS: 0:00 Two ways interrupting goes wrong for autistic brains 1:33 What this episode covers 3:09 Losing your train of thought mid-sentence 4:43 Why verbal processing makes the thought disappear 7:17 Where monotropic attention might come into it 7:59 The other problem: waiting for a pause that doesn't come 9:05 Why so many of us hold back 10:51 The empathy gap and unwritten rules 11:57 AAC, speech that changes, and timing 12:41 Corrections growing up and as an adult 15:24 Why interrupting isn't equally safe for every person in the room 16:32 Options for one-on-one conversations 18:07 Options for a group: asking for an assist 19:14 Practising the flow, and the masking question 20:29 Where improv came in for me 21:59 Practising letting go, with a strategy 23:29 A test for the week 24:56 Outro RESOURCES: The double empathy gap (double empathy problem), more information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_empathy_problem Monotropism: https://monotropism.org About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. About This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

25 MIN

[Regulation Practice] 10-Minute neurodivergent grounding for those who can't or don't do somatics

This is a 10-minute tracking practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, built for anyone who has tried somatics (noticing body sensations) or mindfulness and come out more dysregulated than when they started. If sitting down to watch your thoughts or scan your body for sensations has ever left you feeling worse, this is another way in, another way to try this out. I guide you through noticing a series of different things without deciding whether any of them is good, bad, pleasant, or unpleasant. We start somewhere other than a body sensation, because that's a hard place to read for a lot of us, and move through thoughts, sounds, energy, and a colour, scent, picture, or words. Every indicator can be external or internal, and "I don't know" (or even "whatever, Jen") is a completely valid answer throughout. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:52 The practice begins 7:04 Coming back to the room 8:05 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. About This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

8 MIN

Unmasking as an Autistic or AuDHD Adult and the Fear of Being Misread

Autistic unmasking is a healthy thing, and it can still get you read as a jerk, intimidating, or angry when you never meant any of that. In this episode I talk about what happens when you unmask as an autistic or AuDHD adult and other people misread your intention. A lot of us hear the same words from other people. Intense. Blunt. Too direct. Intimidating. I get into how that connects to the way autistic communication actually works, what the research says about the misunderstanding, and why it shows up so much in autistic and AuDHD social life. I share a personal story about growing up knowing my brain worked like my dad's, a worry I carried for years about being a certain kind of person because of it, and a therapy conversation after he died that half-answered the question. This one is part teaching and part storytelling, for anyone doing the slow work of being more themselves around other people. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why unmasking can get your intentions read as jerk, angry, or intimidating What the research on autistic communication says about misunderstandings The therapy conversation I had about being like my dad The intention versus impact question How to think about masking and unmasking as choices you get to make CHAPTERS: 0:00 Unmasking is good, and you can still be read as a jerk 0:57 What this episode covers, and what unmasking really is 2:28 The misreads autistic and AuDHD adults keep hitting 3:54 Why autistic communication works fine with the right people 6:03 The time someone told me I was intimidating 7:29 Growing up knowing my brain was like my dad's 10:59 The concentrating face that gets read as anger 14:34 The pop psychology take on intention 17:15 The choices on your unmasking journey 19:56 Where to find more About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. About This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

20 MIN

[Regulation Practice] Autistic Grounding Reset After a Long Masking Day

This is a 10-minute grounding reset for autistic and AuDHD adults, a follow-along practice for after a long day of masking. If you've masked all day at work, at an event, or out running errands, and you've come home depleted, in a crash or a shutdown, this practice is for that thing. I guide you through settling in and then a gentle check-in with a few places masking tends to leave tension. You can do the noticing externally or internally, whichever one you have access to, so it works whether or not you get clear signals from inside your body. There's no fixing here, just noticing what's already there, and neutral is a completely valid result. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:08 The practice begins 8:13 Coming back to the room 9:05 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here. About This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here. This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan. I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes. DISCLAIMER: Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional. Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy

9 MIN