299. The most important change begins with you (and how to get started) | with Becky Aste

When you're struggling in your marriage, it's natural to focus on what your partner needs to change. But what happens when you turn your attention inward and begin creating more safety and connection within yourself? In this conversation, Alexandra Stockwell, MD welcomes trauma-informed marriage coach and somatic practitioner Becky Aste, who shares the story of taking her own marriage from separation and the brink of divorce to a thriving relationship. After years of therapy, self-development, and trying to understand their patterns, Becky discovered somatic healing and began working with her nervous system in a completely different way. Together, Alexandra and Becky explore the difference between understanding your relationship patterns and actually changing them, how anxious and avoidant nervous systems can get caught in a painful dance, and why becoming more grounded in yourself can send a completely different signal to your partner. In this episode, you'll discover:  • Why understanding your relationship patterns isn't enough to change them • What “somatic healing” means and how it impacts your nervous system • How tiny shifts in your own body and behavior change the dynamic between you and your partner • Why an anxious or avoidant partner isn't necessarily uncaring or uninterested • How creating safety within yourself is an invitation for greater connection • Why secure attachment is a learnable skill, not something only developed in childhood You don't have to wait for your partner to change before you begin creating a different relationship. Sometimes the most powerful place to start is within yourself, one small moment of safety, presence, and connection at a time. The results are so worthwhile! Connect with Becky Aste: Website: www.idobreakthrough.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becky_aste