Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why conflict is so difficult, the models of conflict we inherit from childhood, healthy repair, what emotional flooding does to the brain and body during a fight, and the research on what actually predicts relationship success. They close with a handful of things that get mistaken for repair but aren't, including submission, thin apologies, and just solving the surface problem. 



Key Topics:

0:00: Intro

3:19: Repair as the biggest predictor of relationship success

5:29: Models of conflict and where they originate from

16:08: What is healthy repair, and why is it so hard?

24:54: What to do about emotional flooding

30:25: When to let things go, and when to address them

38:36: What repair is and what it's not

46:47: The power of authentic apologies

57:04: Recap



Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.



SponsorsVisit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. 
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Healthy Conflict: The Most Important Relationship Skill We Don’t Learn

JUN 8, 202664 MIN
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Healthy Conflict: The Most Important Relationship Skill We Don’t Learn

JUN 8, 202664 MIN

Description

Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why conflict is so difficult, the models of conflict we inherit from childhood, healthy repair, what emotional flooding does to the brain and body during a fight, and the research on what actually predicts relationship success. They close with a handful of things that get mistaken for repair but aren't, including submission, thin apologies, and just solving the surface problem.  Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 3:19: Repair as the biggest predictor of relationship success 5:29: Models of conflict and where they originate from 16:08: What is healthy repair, and why is it so hard? 24:54: What to do about emotional flooding 30:25: When to let things go, and when to address them 38:36: What repair is and what it's not 46:47: The power of authentic apologies 57:04: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsVisit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices