Live Your F*ck Yes Life

<p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">We’re finally doing it — an episode dedicated to all things demisexuality!</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Understanding demisexuality was the lightbulb I needed in fully understanding myself and how/why my attraction has looked like the way it has. I always felt … weird. Different. And I didn’t understand why I didn’t experience that initial intense physical attraction towards someone, ever. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">In todays episode, we dive into my personal flavor of demisexuality, how I’ve adapted my dating practices to align with my unique needs and all about the lightbulb switch that has everything to do with my attraction needs.</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">THINGS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.amandakatherineloy.com/podcast/160">Episode 160 </a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/liveyourfuckyeslife/">The Podcast Instagram</a></p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">WORK, SUPPORT &amp; CONNECT WITH AMANDA:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s<a href="https://www.instagram.com/amandakatherineloy/"> Instagram</a> | <a href="http://www.amandakatherineloy.com/">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@amandakatherineloy">Tik Tok</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/ichoppedoffmytits">Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/AKLpenpal">Join her email list </a>for free curated playlists and <strong>very</strong> occasional gifts &amp; announcements in your inbox</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p>

<p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">One of the most common things I get asked by you all is how I’m <em>really</em> doing post / during my divorce, and I get it. I haven’t really talked about how I’m doing in a direct way regarding this particular piece of my story and while that’s been intentional — I realized that not doing so was also a disservice to all of you and to this process.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">If there’s anything I’ve realized through this experience, it’s that there are not a lot of blueprints out there on how to navigate the process of a divorce. What you might expect. Shit you might face. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">I thought I could have predicted what the last year and half would look like. And I was wrong. It’s been a rollercoaster. One that I’m finally sharing more about on todays episode. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">If you are going through a divorce or a de-escalation, please give yourself some grace. This shit is hard. Complicated. Messy. And if you know someone going through either, reach out to them and tell them you’re there. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">PS: my neighbors downstairs were having what sounded like a rave during the only time I had to record this so, enjoy the weird ambient music LOL</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">WORK, SUPPORT &amp; CONNECT WITH AMANDA:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s<a href="https://www.instagram.com/amandakatherineloy/"> Instagram</a> | <a href="http://www.amandakatherineloy.com/">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@amandakatherineloy">Tik Tok</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/ichoppedoffmytits">Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/AKLpenpal">Join her email list </a>for free curated playlists and <strong>very</strong> occasional gifts &amp; announcements in your inbox</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">DM or email Amanda for current somatic/embodiment coaching opportunities </p>

<p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Did I ever think I’d have a former partner, a queer platonic partner and a platonic life partner together for an in depth conversation around all things queerness? If you had told me a few years ago, I would have been like hell no. I didn’t even know platonic partnership could be a thing back then. AND to have former partners of mine want to participate in my world and be willing to navigate the nuance and intricacies of de-escalation alongside of me while also witnessing me in partnership? I imagined it — hoped for it — but to have it realized is such a gift.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">I love these humans. They are some of my most treasured folks in my inner constellation of loved ones. I have learned so much from being in partnership and in sphere with Rach (she/her), Kels (they/them) and Kristen (she/her). And I am just so f*cking excited to share this conversation with one of you.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">It might just be my favorite episode to date. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Things we talk about in todays episode: </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">queer-ness as a celebration of anti-normative living and being </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">the idea of hierarchy and the variety of what commitment can look like in relationships</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">romantic, platonic relationships </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">internalized homophobia </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">how the patriarchy and comp het impacts queer dynamics</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">and a shit ton of goofy energy and personal stories </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">CONNECT WITH KRISTEN, RACH &amp; KELS:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Instagram: Kristen | Rach | Kels </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">LINKS MENTIONED IN TODAYS EPISODE:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Fucking Queer Merch - use code QUEERDO for 15% off </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Episode 100: This Is Pride (We’re Here And We’re Queer)</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Rachels previous episodes: Episode 148: Platonic Intimacy &amp; Why We Really Went On A Break | Episode 86 | Episode 64: How Fluid id Sexuality Anyways? | Episode 51: Breaking the Stigma of Therapy | Episode 37: The Truth About Anxiety | Episode 9</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">WORK, SUPPORT &amp; CONNECT WITH AMANDA:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : 60 mins | 90 mins </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s Instagram | Website | Tik Tok</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Join her email list for free curated playlists and very occasional gifts &amp; announcements in your inbox</p>

<p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">This is my fifth pride out as a queer person, and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t felt at a loss on how to being to find queer community. Part of queer-ness isn’t just going from thinking you’re straight to knowing you’re queer and then voila, you’ve got the queer life of your dreams. It’s a whirlwind of unpacking comp het, going through queer puberty (I used to scoff at the idea of this but it’s a thing), and finding where you feel the most at home and yourself in your queerness.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Not to mention getting your brain unf*cked from the patriarchy.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">These are conversations I have in my own circles, often, and I’m so grateful to have someone like Rainn in my own life to learn from and converse with. And I’m even more stoked that they agreed to come on the pod for us to have one of these conversations with all of you.</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">If you aren’t familiar with Rainn (She/They), she is a Black lesbian artist and writer living in Chicago. She’s the Host and Co-Organizer of Fruit Salad, a monthly queer open mic. Her writing has appeared in several online publications, and her second poetry chapbook, “In our hands, citrus” will be released later this year. Her artwork has appeared at Co-Prosperity Sphere, The Whistler, The Robin in the Martin, and The Franklin.</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><em>Things we talk about in todays episode:</em></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">how the fuck to make queer friends</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">their queer timeline and how she’s navigated all things non monogamy, internalized homophobia and de-escalations in their relationships </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">why lesbianism means so much to her </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">how to know where you belong </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">local artist &amp; queer community, and the way she’s personally contributing to it with Fruit Salad</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">all things chosen family, sapphic love, power dynamics in relationships and beyond </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://beducate.me/pd2323-fuckyes">Get 40% off yearly pass for Beducated</a> — use code: fuckyes </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel.</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Rainn’s <a href="https://www.instagram.com/somuchrainn">Instagram</a> </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/fruitsaladchicago">Fruit Salad</a> |<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dorothydownstairs"> Dorothy Downstairs</a> | <a href="https://www.themartinchicago.com">The Martin </a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://amanda-katherine-loy-merch.creator-spring.com">Fucking Queer Merch </a> - use code QUEERDO for 15% off </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">WORK, SUPPORT &amp; CONNECT WITH AMANDA:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Snag one of Amanda’s June somatic embodiment coaching pop up sessions : <a href="https://amandakatherineloy.as.me/Fuckyes-1on1">60 mins</a> | <a href="https://amandakatherineloy.as.me/90minsession">90 mins </a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s<a href="https://www.instagram.com/amandakatherineloy/"> Instagram</a> | <a href="http://www.amandakatherineloy.com/">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@amandakatherineloy">Tik Tok</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/ichoppedoffmytits">Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/AKLpenpal">Join her email list </a>for free curated playlists and <strong>very</strong> occasional gifts &amp; announcements in your inbox</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p>

<p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">CW: sexual assault, harassment</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">“Something is wrong with me.” Words I used to think and say out loud all the damn time when I wasn’t feeling turned on <em>enough</em> or when I felt pain during sex or when I started having sex with vulva owners and had no idea what the fuck I was doing. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">If only I’d known about how trauma and living in a culture rooted in the patriarchy can impact our own body’s (and thus selves) ability to access our own needs for consent, our own voice and access our own desires. </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">In todays very raw and incredibly important episode, I’m so honored to be joined by Mariah Freya (she/her), co-founder and CEO of <a href="https://beducate.me/pd2321-fuckyes">Beducated</a> — the worlds leading online shame free sex education platform — to deep dive into all of this and more.</p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><em>Things we talk about in todays episode:</em></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">our shared experience with sexual trauma and how that has impacted our sex lives and capacity for pleasure </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">cultivating safety in sex </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Mariah’s dangerous experience in the tantric community</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">how big tech is intentionally getting in the way of shame free sex education </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">dissociation and PTSD responses during / around sex </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">ways to deepen into your pleasure with intention </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">navigating low libido, pelvic floor pain, cults, punk culture and beyond </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">ALL THINGS BEDUCATED:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://beducate.me/pd2321-fuckyes">Get 50% off yearly pass for Beducated</a> — use code: fuckyes </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Best part? You can try ALL Beducated courses for 1 Day FREE! You won’t get charged for the first 24 hours so if it’s not for you, you can cancel :) </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Mariah’s <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mariahfreya/">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/beducatedcom/">Beducated’s Instagram </a>— use code “fuckyes”</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.hbo.com/the-vow">NXIVM documentary the Vow </a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://amanda-katherine-loy-merch.creator-spring.com">Fucking Queer Merch </a> - use code QUEERDO for 15% off </p><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">WORK, SUPPORT &amp; CONNECT WITH AMANDA:</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Amanda’s<a href="https://www.instagram.com/amandakatherineloy/"> Instagram</a> | <a href="http://www.amandakatherineloy.com/">Website</a> | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@amandakatherineloy">Tik Tok</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/ichoppedoffmytits">Amanda’s book, I Chopped Off My Tits</a></p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.patreon.com/liveyourfuckyeslife" target="">Patreon</a> to support the pod </p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://bit.ly/AKLpenpal">Join her email list </a>for free curated playlists and <strong>very</strong> occasional gifts &amp; announcements in your inbox</p><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><a href="https://amanda-katherine-loy-merch.creator-spring.com">Fucking Queer Merch </a>— 100% of proceeds from now through the end of Pride Month will go towards the LGBTQ+ charity/organization the community chooses </p>