20 Minutes with Bronwyn

Have you ever left a meeting furious at yourself for going along with something you knew was wrong? Or watched a talented colleague completely fold in front of a powerful leader? That's not a character flaw. That's fawning — and it might be the least understood dynamic in communication. Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist, trauma expert, and author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves, and How to Find Our Way Back. I am closing Season 6 of my podcast with this conversation, and let me tell you ... we get INTO IT!  🧠 What fawning actually is — and why calling it "people-pleasing" has kept millions of people stuck in shame instead of healing ⚡ Why high achievers are especially vulnerable — and how fawning can look exactly like success until it doesn't 🏢 What's really happening in your meetings — when brilliant people go silent, fold, or suddenly can't stop praising the boss 💪 The path out — practical, embodied tools for building an internal sense of safety that doesn't depend on the room agreeing with you 🔥 What "un-fawning" actually feels like — and why it's less about setting boundaries and more about finally coming home to yourself   Find Dr. Ingrid Clayton: 🌐 ingridclayton.com 📸 instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd 📘 facebook.com/IngridClaytonPhD ▶️ youtube.com/channel/UC3PvWTgJMirURfgHWj3h28g ✉️ substack.com/@ingridclaytonphd  

This week I sat down with three high school seniors — including my daughter — who are co-chairing a major fashion show fundraiser at their school. My goal was to understand how they were thinking about/embodying leadership.  I expected them to show up enthusiastically and willing to share their thoughts and ideas. What I didn’t expect was a masterclass in leadership. When I asked them what makes a great leader, they didn’t say confidence. They didn’t say authority. They didn’t say being the smartest person in the room. They said: listening well letting others shine admitting when you don’t know working collaboratively choosing courage even when you’re afraid How many of us struggle as GROWN UPS to lead this way!?  They also talked about stress and how leadership means learning to manage pressure without losing empathy. I mean … can I get an AMEN!? If this is how the next generation thinks about leadership, the future may be more emotionally intelligent, collaborative, and human than anything we’ve seen before. Honestly it gave me hope, and in case you need a shot of hope this week, give this a listen. ✨ Timeless: Presentation High School Fashion Show This event supports tuition assistance and is an exceptionally great time. I’ll be there in full glam. ;) Presentation High School Fashion Show📅 April 18🔗https://www.presentationhs.org/support/life-in-plaid 🤝 Brands Supporting the Cause The event is supported by a group of local retailers and partners: Jennifer Kroll Remi B Cabi Macy’s Kismet Bella James Winchester Western Ware Cactus Lounge Virgo Santa Cruz (Grateful to see businesses investing in young leaders and their community.)

Wowza. Today you are in for a treat. I’m joined by Annie Wright, LMFT—Annie is a licensed psychotherapist, trauma recovery specialist, executive coach, and author. Annie is also a successfully exited CEO of a multi-million dollar company and she now helps ambitious humans heal relational trauma so they can build lives that feel good on the inside, not just look good on paper. Annie is on Substack at Strong and Stable with a debut book on the way. She’s been quoted everywhere from Forbes to NBC to NPR. I wanted to have Annie on the show to talk about what it actually takes for high-achieving women to feel good on the inside, and not just look successful on paper and this conversation definitely did not disappoint! This episode is for the woman who: Is highly capable, deeply trusted, and visibly successful Has done everything right in the career playbook  And still feels chronically anxious, exhausted, or empty We talk about why that happens—and what actually helps. What We Cover in This Episode ✨ The “high-functioning woman” profileWhy so many ambitious women learned early that achievement = safety, validation, or love—and how that wiring eventually breaks down. 🧠 Little-t vs. Big-T trauma (and why “nothing bad happened to me” is often the tell)Annie breaks down relational and developmental trauma in a way that is deeply clarifying—and deeply relieving. 🏗️ The “House of Life” metaphorWhy cracks in the foundation don’t always show up early… but will show up once the house gets taller (hello promotions, leadership, parenting, visibility). 🔥 Fear-fuel and fossil fuelsWhy running on anxiety and over-functioning works—until it poisons everything. 🫁 Nervous system tools you can use in real lifeIncluding Annie’s powerful 90-Second Wave for high-stakes meetings and hard conversations. 🧭 The Values Anchor StatementHow to ground yourself in integrity, bravery, or truth when being liked is at odds with being honest. 💬 The myth that healing will make you lose your edge(And why the most powerful leaders we know are actually surrounded by support.) Tools & Frameworks Mentioned All of these are included in her workbook here. The 90-Second Wave – a nervous-system regulation tool for moments of acute stress Values Anchor Statements – using your core values as leverage during hard conversations Judith Herman’s Three-Phase Trauma Recovery Model Safety & Stabilization Processing Meaning-Making & Integration EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) The idea that “trauma survivors have symptoms, not memories” The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk Annie’s upcoming book:Decade of Decisions (W.W. Norton, forthcoming 2027) A Line That Stayed With Me “A regulated nervous system makes more things possible—without a doubt.”

If you have ever felt unwelcome, underestimated, or like the only woman in a room full of men who seem convinced you don’t belong—this episode is for you. This week, I sit down with business advisor, speaker, and bestselling author Patty Azzarello, whose new book, Why Is She Still Here? My Ungraceful Journey from the Playground to the Boardroom tells the story of how she rose through some of the toughest, most male-dominated rooms in tech—all while battling social anxiety, subtle biases, and expectations so low she felt like she had to prove her right to exist in every meeting. In this conversation, Patty and I talk about: 🔹 The real origin story behind Why Is She Still Here? Not the marketing version—the emotional truth: what it feels like to be the woman people silently (or loudly) underestimate… and why Patty simply refused to leave. 🔹 Fear as a companion, not a disqualifier Patty shares how every major step in her career was accompanied by fear—and why courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to show up anyway. 🔹 “Little Patty”: The inner-child energy that powered an executive career Her brilliant, brave younger self shows up in the book for a reason—and Patty explains how reconnecting with the child you were before the world hurt you can unlock creativity, resilience, and truth. 🔹 The invisible tax of low expectations Patty unpacks the 1963 “smart rat / stupid rat” experiment and connects it to modern corporate life in a way that will stop you in your tracks. (This one hit me hard.) 🔹 How to survive—and lead—in rooms not designed for women Patty shares stories, strategies, and the mindset that allowed her to keep standing, keep leading, and keep advancing. 🔹 Authenticity vs. being unfiltered: finding your real leadership voice Why being “all business” works—until it doesn’t. And how a simple, human question transformed Patty’s executive presence. 🔹 Why the people around you will make—or break—your career From romantic partners to friends to colleagues: who lifts you up, who drains you, and why managing your energy may matter more than managing your calendar. 🔗 Links  Patty’s Book: Why Is She Still Here? My Ungraceful Journey from the Playground to the Boardroom Patty on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pattyazzarello/ Patty on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patty.azzarello

My friend… if the close out of 2025 is leaving you feeling disoriented, stretched, hurried, or like that internet-famous cat with the eyes pointing in two different directions, you’re in the right place. This episode is your invitation to pause, breathe, and make meaning of a year that has been a lot. We are deeply seasonal creatures — we need endings, beginnings, rituals, and space to gather our strength before a new year sweeps us up. Don’t have time to listen, but want to join in the fun? Head over to my Substack (bronwyncommunications.substack.com) and you’ll find each prompt, question, and reflection — all here for you to work through at your own pace, without needing to re-listen. Grab your pen, your calendar, and your coffee. Let’s reclaim your power, honor what 2025 taught you, and prepare your spirit for a bold, brave 2026.