OneSharpSword

From the c-suite to executive leadership coach and author, Emily Sander was a pleasure to have join me on One Sharp Sword. 

Superman is Emily’s favorite Superhero. As with Clark Kent, Emily is adopted. She also uses - and encourages others to use - the superpowers for good and to never give up. 

She enjoyed business and leadership and especially loves 1:1 interactions where small points of leverage make a huge difference. 

Emily notes that the #1 skill someone can have is communication. And, with that skill comes the adaptability about both listening and conveying information to the person or people in front of you, each of whom likely have a different style from you. Huge leadership tidbit, here!

She notes that many execs (I’d say almost all) hit a point of questioning what it’s all for. 

We discussed the existential dilemma which brought us down a great rabbit hole worth exploring!

Skill for self: Be deliberate and avoid distractions. 

Emily provides us with food for thought noting that we need to question whether in putting things off for someday or “one day,” is it one day or day one? Again, be deliberate!

Books - 

• Hacking Executive Leadership
• An Insider’s Perspective on the Chief of Staff
• Private Equity Investments 

GREAT conversation with Alain today. From the culture he grew up with to how he guides leaders today, you’ll get a lot out of listening.

His three Cs are key to leadership, whether at home or in your organization:

• Connection
• Communication
• Collaboration

And he spoke of Consistency, which I’d call a 4th C in his model.

Alain’s book Cracking the Leadership Code is worth picking up! 

We connect as human beings. Our world demands people who can think and co-create within an organization.

Leaders must find a way to convey that each employee feels valued and cared for. That’s how you get real connection.

Communication is about creating shared, mutual understanding. If you assume that the default is that what is being communicated will be misunderstood, what will you need to do to ensure true understanding?

Collaboration means creating the culture together by asking the question of what gets the BEST out of people.

In the interview, we discussed the graying of the workforce, mentorship, and remote work. Super interesting! 

Consistency counts and so does actively seeking feedback (so that you can get better).

Think about this, too. It’s called the Fundamental Attribution Error: We justify our actions based on our intentions. Others judge us based on the outcomes and results. 

A performance coach coming from the corporate sector who, after reflecting on what he wished he had been taught, Aaron Trahan set out on his path as a coach. He now helps others in leadership roles.

He notes that complacency must be met head on. Current success could block your future success if you allow yourself to get too comfortable.

While it’s easy to get comfortable, he also knows that no one says that they don’t want to get better results. 

The remedy: Get a bit uncomfortable. That discomfort is you stepping out of your comfort zone. 

The biggest thing that stops people - they think they have to be ready or that they have to do things perfectly. Forget perfect. Start. Take imperfect.

Aaron’s five-level methodology demands strength at each level:

1. Mindset - you need to believe that more is actually possible for you
2. Awareness - 
3. Clarity - 
4. Vision, Milestones, Goals 
5. Accountability

Take action.

Test your “why.” 

Filter what is IN and what is a distraction. 

Focus and Attention correlates with Speed and Progress

What does a musician and conductor know about leadership? My guest, Hugh Ballou, sees his work at conducting transformations. He defines what leadership is and isn’t and what components go into great leadership. His company, SynerVision is a crossover between synergy and vision. Here are some key points. Listen in for more!

• Leadership isn’t dictatorship - the leader is an influencer! 
• In an orchestra, the leader knows the score and everyone playing knows their part 
• Infrastructure is everything, what you’re playing is almost secondary
• It all comes together - through practice, performance, clarity, and community
• BIG LEADERSHIP LESSON: Rather than tell people what to do, state your expectation and your availability to mentor. THIS IS A PARENTING TIP, TOO. (Just be sure you’re walking the talk and not asking others to do as you say, not as you do.)
• THE CULTURE IS A REFLECTION of the leader!
• Rehearse Excellence
• Four foundational leadership principles:
• Vision = The Score
• Be ready to articulate the vision
• Relationships and Building a Team
• Hire The Best
• Systems - create systems that help your team do their jobs
• That includes the way you run meetings (bad meetings kill productivity)
• Value the Rests
• You can’t drive and push all the time. You’ve got to create emphatic balance through clarifying punctuation. 

Find more about Hugh at:

Can you get excited about conflict? 

There’s an old movie from 1950 that caught my attention. It predates me, but still enchanted me. The play-turned-movie is Harvey. The main character, Elmer P. Dowd, finds people in an uproar talking about what he believes in. Elmer’s response, “Oh an element of conflict in any discussion is a very good thing. It shows everybody is taking part and nobody is left out. I like that.” 

Hesha Abrams is an attorney-turned-mediator, something she’s done for the past three decades. Her wisdom is epic and has lessons we can all learn from.

Conflict resolution has shortcuts. Mediation is about talking to work out deals. The idea of “win-win” doesn’t work because there’s all too often someone’s ego involved. There’s either fear or a desire to dominate. That never makes for an equitable win-win. Logic, reason, and rationale do not solve problems. 

Key points from this episode with Hesha Abrams: 

• Problems are solved at an emotional level. 
• Even economic decisions are managed emotionally
• People might not be playing to win, but they ARE playing not to lose. (Note: think about that for your own life)
• Some people want to be right; most people do not want to be wrong. (The embarrassment might imply being outcast and ultimately alone.)
• Look for/listen for the power dynamic in any interaction
• Language matters - 
• Request permission
• Ask if the other person would “like” what you’re offering
• “May I share a story with you? Would you like it if I shared….”
• Look for where it becomes okay to make a deal
• Interrupt strategically: “Do you know what I like/respect/admire about you?”
• Name the emotion
• Validate
• Turn on the give-a-darn meter

Empower by taking responsibility. Apologize. Request a “do-over.” This gives the other person the power to say yes and allows you to model a culture that you value. 

Hesha and her resources may be found at: