The Self-Hype Podcast

This week Eli sits down with Dr. Sarah Hensley, a social psychologist and relationship expert, to discuss attachment styles and how they influence dating dynamics. Dr. Hensley shares insights into identifying and understanding different attachment styles, such as avoidant and narcissistic tendencies, highlighting the importance of accountability and self-awareness in relationships. Together, they explore how one's level of empathy and accountability can signal the difference between attachment issues and narcissism. Throughout the episode, they delve into effective communication, managing conflicts, and building capacity for secure attachment while offering practical tools for fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships.   Unlock early releases, exclusive content, and the chance to ask Eli questions for potential on-air answers by joining our Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/selfhype Want To Work With Eli And Join His Community? Click Here: https://linktr.ee/elivazquez1   Watch this podcast right now on YouTube! https://youtu.be/_rbwNc9A0Ew   00:00 Cold Open00:30 Welcome to The Self-Hype Podcast01:19 Diving into Attachment Styles and Avoidance02:47 Dr. Hensley's Journey: From Personal Struggles to Professional Expertise04:17 Exploring Narcissism and Attachment Issues06:20 The Science Behind Attachment and Relationship Dynamics09:18 Navigating Conflict and Emotional Regulation in Relationships15:46 Strategies for Loving and Understanding Avoidant Partners27:24 When to Seek Help: Recognizing Persistent Relationship Conflicts28:47 Understanding the Trigger Cycle29:16 Building Capacity for Secure Attachment30:02 The Importance of Doing the Work30:58 Dealing with Avoidant Partners32:08 Setting Boundaries and No Contact32:59 The Impact of Loss on Avoidants36:44 Can You Get Back with Your Ex?43:47 Key Questions for Early Dating52:01 Following Dr.Hensley54:04 Final Thoughts   Follow Eli online: https://www.tiktok.com/@itselivazquez https://instagram.com/itselivazquez https://www.instagram.com/theselfhypepodcast/ https://twitter.com/SelfHypePod https://www.youtube.com/@theselfhypepodcast   Dr. Sarah Hensley has a Ph.D. in Social Psychology and has been studying the science of relationships for over 15 years. She’s an expert in attachment science, which very accurately predicts relationship behavior. Attachment style predicts how people handle conflict, how they communicate in romantic relationships, and how and why they can feel triggered or upset by their partners. In addition, Dr. Hensley is an expert in the science of attraction, and she understands the deep underlying reasons why certain people are attracted to others. She has coached thousands of clients on how to find and keep healthy and happy romantic relationships. Dr. Hensley is confident in her ability to help individuals repair any relationship—even when you’ve been broken up for months, divorce has been filed, or when couples counseling has failed. Sarah’s services include Group Hybrid Coaching, One-On-One Coaching, Couples Coaching and Executive Coaching.   https://www.instagram.com/the_dating_decoder/?hl=en https://linktr.ee/thedatingdecoder   This podcast was edited using PodShuttle, the fully-remote podcast editing and management service owned and operated by CHOBO Studios. For more info, visit podshuttle.io and follow us on Instagram to see more shows we've helped bring to life. https://www.instagram.com/chobostudios https://www.instagram.com/podshuttle   #theselfhypepodcast #selfhype #podshuttle #chobostudios #selfdevelopment

In this week's episode, Eli tackles the reasons why many people keep dating the same toxic partners and emphasizes the importance of self-accountability and personal growth in the dating process. He urges listeners to examine their patterns and the love they're used to versus the love they truly need, stressing the necessity of building a fulfilling life outside of relationships. Eli discusses how understanding one's non-negotiables and embracing self-love can lead to healthier dating experiences, while also encouraging listeners to redefine their perception of safety and excitement in relationships. He wraps up by offering tools and insights to help listeners break free from negative dating cycles and find partners that align with their true selves.   Unlock early releases, exclusive content, and the chance to ask Eli questions for potential on-air answers by joining our Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/selfhype Want To Work With Eli And Join His Community? Click Here: https://linktr.ee/elivazquez1   Watch this podcast right now on YouTube! https://youtu.be/YKH4NDPTvG8   00:00 Cold Open00:33 Welcome to the Self Hype Podcast00:44 Why We Keep Finding the Same Type of Partner02:37 The Importance of Self-Accountability05:26 Creating a Fulfilling Life Beyond Dating08:28 Defining Your Path and Finding the Right Partner16:26 Understanding the Love You're Used To vs. The Love You Need22:11 The Allure of the Flashy Guy22:54 Finding Value in Safety24:40 Learning from Failed Relationships26:41 Setting Non-Negotiables28:29 Navigating Awkward Dates30:57 Intentional Communication33:36 Self-Love and Accountability39:54 The Ancestral Perspective41:51 Embracing the Dating Journey43:18 Conclusion and Next Steps   Follow Eli online: https://www.tiktok.com/@itselivazquez https://instagram.com/itselivazquez https://www.instagram.com/theselfhypepodcast/ https://twitter.com/SelfHypePod https://www.youtube.com/@theselfhypepodcast   This podcast was edited using PodShuttle, the fully-remote podcast editing and management service owned and operated by CHOBO Studios. For more info, visit podshuttle.io and follow us on Instagram to see more shows we've helped bring to life. https://www.instagram.com/chobostudios https://www.instagram.com/podshuttle   #theselfhypepodcast #selfhype #podshuttle #chobostudios #toxicrelationships

Eli welcomes Kim Guera, a writer, therapist, and entrepreneur known for her brand Badass Bonita and her advocacy in self-love and community empowerment. The episode delves into themes of self-discovery and breaking silence, with Kim sharing her personal journey of overcoming the imposed silence of her childhood through the power of writing and speaking out. She discusses her evolution from feeling bound by societal expectations to embracing her voice as a tool for change and healing, leading to the creation of a supportive community and her book, "Badass Bonita." This episode highlights the transformative power of self-expression and the impact of community support in personal development.   Unlock early releases, exclusive content, and the chance to ask Eli questions for potential on-air answers by joining our Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/selfhype Want To Work With Eli And Join His Community? Click Here: https://linktr.ee/elivazquez1   Watch this podcast right now on YouTube! https://youtu.be/eVA6QlN68Gs   00:00 Cold Open00:31 This Week's Topic: Self-Discovery00:39 Guest Introduction: Kim Guera01:13 Kim's Journey: Breaking the Silence04:24 The Power of Writing and Speaking Up06:49 Creating Community: Badass Bonita09:12 The Healing Process and Vulnerability22:51 The Importance of Relationships in Healing37:44 Embracing Queerness and Self-Love42:26 Reflections on Healing and Growth47:15 Final Thoughts   Follow Eli online: https://www.tiktok.com/@itselivazquez https://instagram.com/itselivazquez https://www.instagram.com/theselfhypepodcast/ https://twitter.com/SelfHypePod https://www.youtube.com/@theselfhypepodcast   Kim Guerra: Kim is a queer woman of color. She is a writer, advocate, and entrepreneur. Guerra is the creator of Badass x Bonita, a brand and movement that she considers to be a work of self-love and her love for her community. Guerra is the author of “Mariposa” and “Mija”: collections of bilingual poems, affirmations, and revolutionary love letters. Badass Bonita is for all humans who are giving themselves and their community wings through revolutionary love.   https://www.instagram.com/badassxbonita/ https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/kim-guerra/badass-bonita/9781538742433/   This podcast was edited using PodShuttle, the fully-remote podcast editing and management service owned and operated by CHOBO Studios. For more info, visit podshuttle.io and follow us on Instagram to see more shows we've helped bring to life. https://www.instagram.com/chobostudios https://www.instagram.com/podshuttle   #theselfhypepodcast #selfhype #podshuttle #chobostudios #selfdevelopment

In this week's episode Eli explores the age-old question, "Can a man change?" and delivers some hard truths for listeners, particularly women who hope to see their partners transform for them. He emphasizes that true change in a man must come from within, driven by self-awareness and personal growth, rather than from external pressures or relationships. Eli shares his own experiences of evolving through introspection and solitude, and he encourages listeners to embrace uncomfortable conversations in their relationships, while also recognizing that their partner's potential to change is not their responsibility to manage. Ultimately, Eli advises focusing on self-healing and setting boundaries, especially when a partner's lack of growth causes emotional turmoil.   Unlock early releases, exclusive content, and the chance to ask Eli questions for potential on-air answers by joining our Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/selfhype Want To Work With Eli And Join His Community? Click Here: https://linktr.ee/elivazquez1   Watch this podcast right now on YouTube! https://youtu.be/JUWwiuHEJaE   00:00 Can a Man Change?00:33 Welcome to the Self Hype Podcast02:13 The Big Question05:59 Personal Reflections and Experiences11:13 The Role of Self-Awareness and Accountability12:47 Dealing with Defensiveness and Potential16:43 The Reality of Change and Moving On19:21 Embracing Uncomfortable Conversations31:25 Final Thoughts   Follow Eli online: https://www.tiktok.com/@itselivazquez https://instagram.com/itselivazquez https://www.instagram.com/theselfhypepodcast/ https://twitter.com/SelfHypePod https://www.youtube.com/@theselfhypepodcast   This podcast was edited using PodShuttle, the fully-remote podcast editing and management service owned and operated by CHOBO Studios. For more info, visit podshuttle.io and follow us on Instagram to see more shows we've helped bring to life. https://www.instagram.com/chobostudios https://www.instagram.com/podshuttle   #theselfhypepodcast #selfhype #podshuttle #chobostudios #relationshipadvice

Eli sits down with his first therapist, Maritza Palacencia, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to explore the complexities of relationships, trauma, and healing. The episode delves into the challenges of navigating triggers within partnerships, the significance of radical honesty, and the importance of therapy in fostering intimacy and growth. Eli reflects on his own therapeutic journey and how Maritza's guidance was pivotal in his personal development, while Maritza shares insights on how couples can work through difficulties together and the transformative power of therapy. The conversation highlights the ongoing process of healing, both individually and in relationships, and emphasizes the value of addressing trauma and building healthier connections.   Unlock early releases, exclusive content, and the chance to ask Eli questions for potential on-air answers by joining our Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/selfhype Want To Work With Eli And Join His Community? Click Here: https://linktr.ee/elivazquez1   Watch this podcast right now on YouTube! https://youtu.be/owwSUsv-r0s   00:00 Cold Open00:32 Welcome to #SelfHypePod01:17 The BuzzFeed Therapy Experience03:17 The Impact of Therapy on Men08:08 Maritza's Journey to Becoming a Therapist14:12 Navigating Couples Therapy24:30 Radical Honesty in Relationships34:39 Navigating Trauma and Its Impact on Relationships37:59 Understanding and Utilizing EMDR Therapy41:37 Integrating Partners into the Healing Process45:29 Managing Triggers and Attachment Styles57:01 Knowing When to Work on Yourself or Walk Away01:00:24 Final Thoughts   Follow Eli online: https://www.tiktok.com/@itselivazquez https://instagram.com/itselivazquez https://www.instagram.com/theselfhypepodcast/ https://twitter.com/SelfHypePod https://www.youtube.com/@theselfhypepodcast   Maritza Placencia  Maritza Plascencia is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, founder of Mindful Quest Relationship Counseling in CA. Her specialty is working with adult individuals and couples dealing with relationship issues rooted in trauma. She has worked with survivors of intimate partner violence and sexual assault in different capacities since 2007. Maritza completed her undergraduate work at University of California, Irvine, obtaining her Bachelor's Degrees in Criminology and English. She is available to speak at conferences and organizations.   https://www.instagram.com/mindfulquesttherapy/ https://linktr.ee/mindfulquestrc   This podcast was edited using PodShuttle, the fully-remote podcast editing and management service owned and operated by CHOBO Studios. For more info, visit podshuttle.io and follow us on Instagram to see more shows we've helped bring to life. https://www.instagram.com/chobostudios https://www.instagram.com/podshuttle   #theselfhypepodcast #selfhype #podshuttle #chobostudios #childhoodtrauma