Espresso

Benedict Polizzi

Details

Stand Up Comedian Benedict Polizzi gives listeners horrendous advice

Recent Episodes

SEP 21, 2026
Starter Jacket... Instant BFF's | How'd You Meet Your Best Friend? | Espresso Pod 437
How did you actually meet your best friend? If they weren't wearing a starter jacket or you didn't absolutely hate them you're not actual friends babe ๐Ÿ‘ฏ ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod! https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/ ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- *TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS* *0:00 - Intro* *7:25 - How Do You Meet Your Best Friend?* *9:00 - Childhood Best-Friend Origin Stories* *18:03 - The Random Celebrity Question* *21:42 - Becoming Friends When Someone Falls Down* *29:26 - โ€œBro, Did You Study?โ€ College Friendships* *33:18 - How Fashion Creates Instant Connections* *36:02 - When Hating Someone Turns Into Friendship* *39:42 - The Starbucks Best-Friend Story* *45:19 - Why Seeing Someone Be Dumb Builds Trust* *49:12 - Becoming Best Friends Over Food* *54:24 - The Family Dinner With Almost No Food* *59:18 - Sneaking a Friend Into the House* *1:07:46 - Meeting Your Best Friend at a Strip Club* *1:13:02 - College Classes, Gym Friends & Lifelong Friendships*
79 MIN
SEP 3, 2026
The Teacher With A Pet Flea In A Locket (Weird Substitute Teachers)
You haven't truly had an eating disorder until you eat ten bunless Big Macs with a knife and fork ๐Ÿ˜™ Today we remember why high school kids are the most ruthless people on earth and why putting Pepto-Bismol in your math teacher's coffee is rat tail kid activity. Don't act like you wouldn't sign up for a government-funded week of going back to high school at age 35 just so you can cater lunch from Qdoba and depants your bois in the hallway ๐Ÿ˜Ž Love ya fam see ya sunday๐Ÿซก ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod! https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi โ˜•๏ธFOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/ ๐Ÿ’• WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX ๐Ÿงข "๐—•๐—”๐—Ÿ๐——"๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฌ% ๐—ข๐—™๐—™ ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ ๐— ๐—˜๐—ฅ๐—–๐—› https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- **TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS** **0:00 - Intro** **2:40 - Leaving your car running for four hours while substitute teaching** **5:35 - Playing indoor ruler baseball with Mr. Bogardis** **7:50 - Mrs. Anderson and the hair scarf showdown** **9:00 - Proposing high school week for thirty-five-year-olds** **12:15 - Hiring pale nerds and the situational hotness trap** **17:45 - The substitute teacher with a pet flea in a locket** **21:45 - Art class prop comedy and calling the ice cream shop on a stapler** **25:50 - Turning in your Scratten and religion class junk resituating** **29:10 - Mr. French's Assateague Island elementary camping trip** **36:05 - Searing cream cheese bagels on the bottom of a dirty shoe** **38:50 - Shuffling I hate Miss Phillips messages onto math quizzes** **42:20 - Spotting the Chris Farley lookalike sub eating wings at Hooters** **46:30 - Native American lesbian PE teachers screaming about untied shoes** **52:40 - Off pizza for four months and fighting the pizza demons**
59 MIN