Unresolved CPTSD creates internal pressure that often shows up as pushing people away, even when you desperately want closeness. When your nervous system is running trauma energies, connection feels like danger. You flip between caretaking and harsh judgment because your original attachment loop was never closed. The result is confusion, shame, and the painful sense that you are either too much or not enough in your relationships.

This episode breaks down exactly why this happens inside CPTSD and how to interrupt the pattern in real time. You will learn the developmental gap created by anxious attachment, why other people's emotions overwhelm you so quickly, and what it looks like to regulate before you relate. Healing begins when you understand the CPTSD blueprint driving your reactions.

Questions answered in this episode:

Why do I push people away when I want closeness? Why do I flip between caretaking and resentment? Why do other people's emotions overwhelm me so quickly? How can I stay grounded instead of running or attacking? How do I break the pattern of anxious attachment?

🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop If you have the time and the money for your healing but no real plan, this workshop is for you. Over four live sessions, I teach "The Map" for a two-year "had CPTSD" journey so you can stop improvising and start following a diagnosis-based plan that actually makes sense. You will leave with clear direction, practical next steps, and the confidence to move forward with purpose.

→ Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop

HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD

Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide

In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist

Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening

Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services

If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After.

About Dr. Tanner Wallace

Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast

Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why.

Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system.

Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution.

If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.