![<description><div class= "relative basis-auto flex-col -mb-(--composer-overlap-px) [--composer-overlap-px:28px] grow flex overflow-hidden"> <div class="relative h-full"> <div class= "flex h-full flex-col overflow-y-auto @w-xl/main:pt-(--header-height) [scrollbar-gutter:stable_both-edges]"> <div class= "flex flex-col text-sm @w-xl/main:pt-header-height pb-25"> <article class= "text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [&:has([data-writing-block])>*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:757854bf-9152-41eb-bc5d-3f927d3a9fec-74" data-testid= "conversation-turn-70" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> <div class= "text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @w-sm/main:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @w-lg/main:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)"> <div class= "[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn" tabindex="-1"> <div class="flex max-w-full flex-col grow"> <div class= "min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+&]:mt-1" dir="auto" data-message-author-role="assistant" data-message-id= "63942aa8-1d54-4504-86f3-4b2a8d839120" data-message-model-slug= "gpt-5-1"> <div class= "flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]"> <div class= "markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling"> <p data-start="369" data-end="436">Why do relationships hurt so much for me?</p> <p data-start="438" data-end="860">If you are asking this question as a childhood trauma survivor who ended up with CPTSD, this episode will help you feel seen and understood. I share how, at both the micro and macro level, CPTSD shapes the way you interpret other people's behavior, how you respond during interactions, and how repeated stressors and betrayals in your early attachment context alter your development in ways that follow you into adulthood.</p> <p data-start="862" data-end="1090">You will learn how CPTSD affects your relational filters, why certain reactions feel automatic or overwhelming, and what actually shifts once you begin healing the internal system that has been trying to protect you for decades.</p> <p data-start="1092" data-end="1127">Questions answered in this episode:</p> <p data-start="1129" data-end="1437">Why are relationships so painful for people with CPTSD?<br data-start="1184" data-end= "1187" /> How does CPTSD distort my sense of safety in relationships?<br data-start="1246" data-end="1249" /> Why do I react so strongly to small moments of conflict or distance?<br data-start="1317" data-end="1320" /> How do I stop repeating the same painful patterns?<br data-start= "1370" data-end="1373" /> Can CPTSD healing help me build healthier, steadier connections?</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="mt-3 w-full empty:hidden"> </div> </div> </div> </article> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p data-start="1196" data-end="1530"><strong>I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan</strong><br data-start="1207" data-end="1210" /> My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan.<br data-start="1500" data-end="1503" /> DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com</p> <p data-start="1532" data-end="1804"><strong>CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop</strong><br data-start="1561" data-end="1564" /> A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era.<br data-start="1775" data-end="1778" /> <a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop">cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop</a></p> <p data-start="1806" data-end="2102"><strong><em>Happily Ever After</em></strong><br data-start="1824" data-end="1827" /> A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full <em>CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol</em>. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support.<br data-start="2078" data-end="2081" /> <a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/services">https://cptsdmedicine.com/services</a></p> <p class="p1"><strong>HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD</strong></p> <p class="p1">Can't stop fighting in your relationship?<br data-start="470" data-end="473" /> → Follow the <strong><a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide" target= "_blank" rel="noopener"><em data-start="486" data-end="513">Fight Smarter Field Guide</em></a></strong> — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide</p> <p class="p1">In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave?<br /> → Begin the <a href="https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong>Red Flag Learning Path</strong></a> to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt.<br /> <a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist">https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist</a></p> <p class="p1">Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again?<br /> → Explore the <a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong>"Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study</strong></a> for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak.<br /> <a href= "https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening">https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening</a></p> <p class="p1">Thinking your career is hurting your love life?<br /> → Start the <a href="https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong>Overachiever's Audit Study</strong></a> — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy.<br /> https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit<br /> <br /> <strong>About Dr. Tanner Wallace</strong></p> <p data-start="181" data-end="550" data-is-last-node="" data-is-only-node="">Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns.<br /> <br /> <strong>About the <em data-start="263" data-end="303">Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner</em> Podcast</strong></p> <p data-start="263" data-end="560"><em data-start="263" data-end= "303">Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner</em> is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why.</p> <p data-start="562" data-end="901">Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system.</p> <p data-start="903" data-end="1122">Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution.</p> <p data-start="1124" data-end="1251">If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.</p> <p data-start="2104" data-end="2187"><strong> </strong></p></description>](https://us-central1-podcastguru-217d6.cloudfunctions.net/gcf_get_image?image_url=https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts211/v4/d1/a3/bb/d1a3bba6-23c3-5bff-bcd1-bdf2560361aa/mza_13276884146665512753.png/600x600bb.jpg&width=300&height=300&api_key=xqFmUFX5BHLBTA)
Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD
Dr. Tanner Wallace | CPTSD Resolution & IFS Training | CPTSD Medicine
025. Impact of CPTSD On Relationships: Inside the CPTSD Survival Instinct
025. Impact of CPTSD On Relationships: Inside the CPTSD Survival Instinct
Description
Why do relationships hurt so much for me?
If you are asking this question as a childhood trauma survivor who ended up with CPTSD, this episode will help you feel seen and understood. I share how, at both the micro and macro level, CPTSD shapes the way you interpret other people's behavior, how you respond during interactions, and how repeated stressors and betrayals in your early attachment context alter your development in ways that follow you into adulthood.
You will learn how CPTSD affects your relational filters, why certain reactions feel automatic or overwhelming, and what actually shifts once you begin healing the internal system that has been trying to protect you for decades.
Questions answered in this episode:
Why are relationships so painful for people with CPTSD? How does CPTSD distort my sense of safety in relationships? Why do I react so strongly to small moments of conflict or distance? How do I stop repeating the same painful patterns? Can CPTSD healing help me build healthier, steadier connections?
I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me [email protected]
CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop
Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services
HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD
Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide
In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist
Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening
Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace
Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast
Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why.
Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system.
Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution.
If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.