The Court passes the homemade cranberry sauce when an overgrown stuffed turkey named D-Rok Schlender (“Schlender 5 Productions”) dishes out just desserts to the 2025 horror film “Weapons.” *** Prosecutor: D-Rok Schlender. Defense: Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

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