<p>If you’ve ever been turned on by feelings of jealousy, you are <em>so</em> not alone. Dr. Marie Thouin wrote the book on compersion, so she’s the perfect person to join us to get real about erotic jealousy, humiliation, being “the unchosen one,” and why some of us get hot exactly where we’ve been hurt. In this reverse interview, Joli shares candid stories from early non-monogamy and triad life, using masturbation and fantasy to work with jealousy, and how disposability, comparison, and attachment wounds all show up in her erotic life.</p><p>They also dig into the ethics and weirdness of fantasizing about real people (including metamours), the idea of “participatory jealousy,” and what it really takes to play with this energy without burning everything down. You’ll hear about kink as a tool for transformation, what happens in the “underworld” of big feelings, and how new erotic experiences can actually rewire old wounds—and make more room for compersion, nuance, and genuine choice in how you relate to jealousy.</p><p><strong>In this episode, we talk about:</strong></p><p>— Jealousy as a source of turn-on rather than a problem to fix</p><p>— The relationship between jealousy, shame, and the struggle for Compersion</p><p>— Joli’s personal journey with jealousy in early non-monogamy and triad living</p><p>— Using masturbation and fantasy to work with jealous feelings</p><p>— The erotic charge of disposability, being “unchosen,” and humiliation</p><p>— How attachment wounds and humiliation kink intersect with jealousy</p><p>— Ethical questions about fantasizing about real people (including metamours)</p><p>— Using placeholders/roles vs. specific individuals in erotic imagination</p><p>— The idea of “participatory jealousy” and reclaiming agency</p><p>— Alchemizing jealousy into something transformative (using a Jungian/alchemical lens)</p><p>— The role of safety, trust, and betrayal in whether jealousy play can be healing</p><p>— Kink as a tool for psychological transformation, not just sensation</p><p>— Memory reconsolidation and how new erotic experiences can rewrite old wounds</p><p>— Keeping metamours present in the imagination to support compersion</p><p><strong>Resources mentioned in this episode:</strong></p><p>— <a href="https://mariethouin.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Dr. Marie Thouin’s website</a></p><p>— <a href="https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/?e=34c77409-cca7-4f6b-ab7d-b1713e716e72&amp;g=5" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Justin Lehmiller’s</a> research on sexual fantasies</p><p>— <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/1sjhcFer3R89ON0M65YH0T" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Joli’s guest episode</a> on Girl Boner Radio with August McLaughlin</p><p>— <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/3WOIov1GpFGuUiwXTbtCfW?si=6X0ihysWS9uUkdm_T1Q7fg" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Episode 215</a> Nurturing Established Relationship Energy</p><p>JOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning &amp; support. Registration is open now at <a href="http://www.theyearofopening.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠</a></p><p>Learn the <a href="https://www.jolihamilton.com/salon" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way</a></p><p>Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at <a href="http://www.joliquiz.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">www.JoliQuiz.com</a></p><p>Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! <a href="https://www.jolihamilton.com/ama" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here</a></p><p>Music: Dance of Felt by <a href="https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/242798" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">⁠Blue Dot Sessions</a></p>