<p>Betrayal in non-monogamy can feel uniquely isolating. When you&#39;ve already moved away from the traditional guardrails of monogamy—where exclusivity = safety and infidelity is the clear line of betrayal—what happens when trust is shattered? How do you even know what counts as betrayal when you don&#39;t have those conventional frameworks to lean on?</p><p>This episode picks up where our (amazing!) conversation with Eve Rickert left off. We&#39;re moving beyond <em>understanding</em> betrayal to exploring what comes next: How do we actually repair? And here&#39;s the thing—repair isn&#39;t about returning to some wholesome &quot;before time.&quot; It&#39;s about transformation. It&#39;s about building something entirely new while sitting with the reality that you can never unknow what happened.</p><p>If you&#39;ve experienced betrayal in your non-monogamous relationship (or caused it), if you&#39;re wondering whether repair is even possible, or if you&#39;re struggling with the question &quot;do I even get to have expectations?&quot;—this episode is essential listening. We draw on our own experiences of navigating profound harm and the years-long repair process that followed.</p><p><strong>In this episode, we talk about:</strong></p><p>— Why betrayal recovery requires entering a liminal space with no guaranteed timeline or outcome</p><p>— The difference between repair and just &quot;toughening up&quot; until you don&#39;t feel anything anymore</p><p>— How to reclaim agency when betrayal has left you questioning your reality and your relationship</p><p>— The interior work required for the person who caused harm (spoiler: it&#39;s not just about apologizing)</p><p>— Why the person who was betrayed gets to define their experience, and what that means for repair</p><p>— The critical importance of <em>not</em> rushing through the pain—for both the betrayed and the betrayer</p><p>— How to identify which &quot;part&quot; of you took actions that caused harm, and why that matters</p><p>— The practice of listening without defending when your partner describes how you&#39;ve hurt them</p><p>— Why suppressing betrayal (the &quot;beach ball effect&quot;) will cause it to pop up sideways in other areas of your relationship</p><p>— The role of grief in betrayal—not just sadness, but rage, shame, and the loss of who you thought your partner was</p><p>— How agreements are &quot;expectations made visible&quot; and why shared meaning matters more than shared values</p><p>— Why betrayal repair often requires changing activities and expectations during the recovery period</p><p>— The difference between forgiveness-seeking and negotiation, and how desire smuggling strips away agency</p><p>— How repair becomes a load-bearing beam in your relationship rather than a fracturing force</p><p><strong>Resources mentioned in this episode:</strong></p><p>— <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FxKyNpQgWK1aVZA9YiI2a?si=ijEJI8d3TPiUNDBG2jHDpA">241 Betrayal &amp; Non-Monogamy with Eve Rickert</a></p><p>Get the support you NEED to have the open relationship you WANT in my year-long group program, <a href="https://www.jolihamilton.com/YOO">The Year of Opening</a>®</p><p>Learn the <a href="https://www.jolihamilton.com/salon">5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way</a></p><p>Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at <a href="http://www.joliquiz.com/">www.JoliQuiz.com</a></p><p>Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! <a href="https://www.jolihamilton.com/ama">Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here</a></p><p>Music: Dance of Felt by <a href="https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/242798">⁠Blue Dot Sessions</a></p>