Catholic Mom Calm

You took the bath, went for the walk, said the prayer... and you still feel depleted. Sterling Jaquith explains why: when you trash-talk yourself all day, every bit of self-care pours into a cup full of holes. Plus the day a new friend saw her unfinished basement, and she chose not to poke a single hole. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why being mean to yourself all day drains you emotionally and physically Needle holes and pencil holes: the small digs vs. the big attacks on your vocation Metallica in a Renaissance museum: a beautiful life with a terrible soundtrack What Sterling did when a friend saw her concrete-floored basement EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] Why your self-care isn't working [02:30] The soundtrack of a mom's morning [05:00] The red cup and the holes [08:00] Metallica in the museum [10:00] The friend who saw the basement [14:00] The Advent planning workshop LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com

Mother Teresa wore whatever shoes were left until her feet were deformed, and Catholic moms often share that story like it's a calling for all of us. Sterling Jaquith, Rita Johnson (Health and Hormones) and Denise Jelinek (Weight Loss with the Holy Spirit) talk honestly about why caring for yourself isn't vanity, why your kids are watching how you do it, and how it can become a form of worship. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why we put off self-care: choosing habits from woundedness instead of praying about them, and believing lies like "I don't have time" Authentic self-care: knowing your needs, meeting them, and how you talk to yourself Mother Teresa's shoes and a dorm-room mattress: why another woman's calling isn't yours Your kids are a mirror, and how caring for yourself honors the God who made you EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] About the Back on Track workshop [02:00] Meet Rita, Sterling and Denise (and the one self-care habit each of us struggles with) [10:00] Why we keep putting it off: discernment and lies [15:00] Authentic self-care and the "either/or" lie [20:00] Mother Teresa's shoes, sacrifice vs. self-neglect, and comparison [28:00] Self-care as worship, and what we hope you take away LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Back on Track workshop with Rita, Sterling and Denise (3 days, $39, recordings available if you join late): https://healthandhormones.org/back-on-track/

I just got back from two weeks away (the Fulton Sheen conference in St. Louis and then France with my 15-year-old daughter) and I brought two big things with me to pray about in some very holy places. I asked for clarity every single day, and I kept thinking He'd surely talk to me on the 10-hour flight home, because airplanes are where I so often hear Him. He didn't. When I crawled into bed at 11:30 that night I was surprised and honestly a little embarrassed. Then a sentence came to me that may have been a gift from the Holy Spirit: if He didn't tell me, I don't need to know today. I'm sharing what I do when God is quiet, the three little lies I caught in my own head on the way home, and one question I'd love for you to ask about whatever is weighing on you right now. What if you already have everything you need today? WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why God being quiet about your question might simply mean you don't need to know today, not that you're blocking His voice How "I have everything I need today" can be true next to a negative bank account, a hard diagnosis, or a child who's struggling God gives us no grace for our imaginary problems, so the hours we spend worrying about things that never happen are hours we don't get back The three stories I told myself when I came home without an answer, and how quickly they fell apart once I called them lies Why you can handle watching someone you love feel disappointed, even when it feels like they were counting on you Why I believe our prayers are a real currency, even the simple ones EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Home after two weeks away: the Fulton Sheen conference in St. Louis and France with my daughter [04:00] – Bringing two big questions to holy places, and waiting for God to speak on the flight home [08:00] – "If He didn't tell me, I don't need to know" and a deeper level of surrender [12:00] – You have everything you need today, even in the big hard things [15:00] – The embarrassment, my husband's question, and the three lies I caught [18:00] – What if God said "you don't need that today"? Being present for the little things [20:00] – One Million Rosaries, the three-day workshop, and Party Like a Saint [24:00] – Why our prayers matter more than we think LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: One Million Rosaries Challenge (free, join any time, a prize given away every day): https://onemillionrosaries.com Three-day workshop with Rita Johnson on sleep, energy, and hormones, me on house systems, and Denise Jelinek on food and emotional self-care ($39, replays included): https://healthandhormones.org/back-on-track/ Party Like a Saint (All Saints Day party goods): https://www.partylikeasaint.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Getting kids out the door is a banana circus. That's what I told my daughter in the driveway the other morning, after somebody forgot a lunch and we had to turn around and come back. It's going to be a circus no matter what I do, because children bring chaos and no amount of systems fixes that. The only reason we're never late to school is that I just start the circus earlier than other people do. So this episode is about being on time when you have kids, and underneath that it's really about how you adopt a new identity without beating yourself up to get there. I tell you where my own on-time thing came from (a vow I made in my heart as a little girl, which was woundedness), what it looked like to heal that and still genuinely like being on time, and then the actual mechanics: five minutes per kid, the five more minutes nobody budgets for between the front door and driving away, and accounting for the traffic and the train. If you're chronically late, hear me say first that this is not a salvation issue and there is nothing wrong with you. And then if you want this, here's how. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Where a "person who is never late" identity can come from, and the vow I made in my heart as a kid that I later had to go back and heal with Jesus Healing the wound without losing the habit, because being late doesn't have to mean anything about my character or about what I'm communicating to the host The five minutes per kid rule, plus the five minutes almost nobody budgets for between walking out the front door and actually pulling away Why I start telling everyone it's time to go a full 20 minutes before I want to be driving Why I help them find the shoes instead of waiting on them, since being on time matters to me and it doesn't matter to any of them Living with a husband whose identity has nothing to do with being on time (except for mass), when to prime him about parking, and then letting it go How you actually adopt a new identity: decide clearly, ask what a person like this would do, then practice it until your brain says okay, this is who we are Growing from peace instead of from "I'm so terrible," because you're perfectly lovable right now and you can still calmly decide you'd like something different Predictable chaos, the train you can get stuck behind for eight minutes, and bringing order to the parts you actually control EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Growing up with a single mom, the tunnel traffic, and the vow I made about never being late [05:00] – Adding a baby to the timeline, then a three-year-old who can't find shoes, and adjusting for every kid [10:00] – Seeing the on-time thing as woundedness, healing it, and deciding that late doesn't mean anything about me [15:00] – A husband who doesn't care about being on time (except for mass), priming him, and then letting it go [20:00] – How identity actually works, 21 days versus 250 days, and deciding who you want to be [25:00] – The banana circus in the driveway, starting it earlier, the Sandpoint train, and a million roses for Mary LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: One Million Rosaries Challenge (join any time, the rosaries you pray after you sign up still count toward the total): https://onemillionrosaries.com Catholic Mom Calm (where I teach you how to go back to a memory with Jesus and heal it): https://catholicmomcalm.com Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts, the series on wounds and vows: https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com/ Atomic Habits by James Clear: https://amzn.to/4hEzeew CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Here's something I find fascinating. A lot of us are living a balanced life with a brain that's a hot mess in there, and so a life we're actually executing really well ends up feeling terrible. You got everybody fed and you made it to all the things on time, but your mind spent the whole day telling you how far behind you are, and that is what drained the battery. That's not a commitment problem. That's a thinking problem, and honestly it's good news, because you don't have to change your calendar to fix it. So this episode is how I tell the difference, and then exactly what I do when it really is too much. I list everything out (including the meals and the laundry, because you're already committed to those), I put my finger on each one and pray "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" and then I ask whether the healed version of me takes this on. I also walk you through two real decisions from my own fall, the giant yes I'm so glad I said and the hard no I knew would disappoint people, and what happened after. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the tired usually comes from your thinking and not from your schedule, because your body runs a physiological stress response all morning and drains the battery before anything has even happened What a balanced life with an unbalanced mind looks like, and the question to ask about yesterday to find out which one you've got Writing down every commitment, with meals and cleaning and clean clothes in big buckets, so your brain can see what it already signed up for Praying over each one with "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" instead of "do you want me to keep this, yes or no," which boxes him in and leaves no room for a nuanced answer Some commitments are neutral to God, like the Honda Odyssey or the Toyota Sienna, and you can become a saint either way The question I'd never said out loud before: does the healed version of me take this on, or did I say yes out of woundedness What woundedness sounds like ("if I don't do it, no one will do it"), and the genuinely healthy version of that exact same yes Why the pressure to keep a good program alive is coming from your thinking, and being willing to tolerate some disappointment when the answer is no Going to the Lord for the "good job" you're not getting at home... even for cleaning the microwave EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – The art of saying no, and that includes backing out of things you already said yes to [05:00] – The morning your brain is off to the races, the car, and being tired from your thoughts instead of your day [10:00] – A balanced life and an unbalanced mind, and living the exact same day with a better attitude [15:00] – Listing every commitment out, the buckets you're already signed up for, and receiving what God gives you [20:00] – Praying over each one, neutral commitments, and "does the healed version of me say yes to this?" [25:00] – The giant yes: building a Catholic hybrid homeschool option at the parish over six months [30:00] – The hard no: stepping back from teaching atrium this year, cleaning the microwave, and the three steps together LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Catholic Mom Calm (come learn how to manage your mind with us): https://catholicmomcalm.com One Million Rosaries Challenge (free, all of October, sign up and start a group): https://onemillionrosaries.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm