Catholic Mom Calm

This one is a little heavier than usual. Our business is on track to finish the year at about half of last year's sales, and this fall that's meant saying no to braces for one of my kids and to the ski lessons all their friends are taking... and then having to say "we can't afford it" out loud, in front of other parents. I call chapters like this walking on the water, because Peter was fine as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus and only started to sink when he looked at the storm or down at his own feet. I share how I'm holding the money piece and a hard season in my marriage at the same time, why I think God might be calling my bluff about money, and the simple thoughts I keep coming back to (like "we have enough money today") that keep me looking at Him instead of the waves. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Walking on the water, and what it looks like to keep your eyes on Jesus when you can't see the way out Why "we can't afford that" can still hit so hard, and choosing to say the true thing instead of a polite excuse Asking yourself "do I really believe more money makes someone a better person?" when God calls your bluff "I have enough money today" (or enough time, health or love) as a thought you can borrow Letting shame and embarrassment move all the way through instead of numbing them, and then asking the Lord what to do next Looking for the good things in a hard season, because the good things are of Him EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Walking on the water, and Peter looking at the storm [05:00] – A year at half the sales, business cycles, and what money does (and doesn't do) for happiness [10:00] – Braces, ski lessons, and saying "we can't afford it" out loud [15:00] – An unfinished house, "I have enough today," and a hard season in my marriage [20:00] – God calling my bluff, looking for the good, and the Surrender Novena [25:00] – Nobody is better than you, feeling feelings through, and the Advent workshop LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Advent planning workshop, live Thursday, November 5 (recorded): www.catholicmomcalm.com/advent-2026 Adam Lane Smith YouTube Channel Catholic Mom Calm community (Silence Challenge starts Sunday, November 29): www.catholicmomcalm.com/community

Someone left me a one-star review saying I shouldn't be teaching cognitive behavioral therapy because I'm not a licensed therapist. She's right that I'm not a therapist, and I'm honestly not upset about it... but it made me want to answer a question a lot of you are quietly asking. Am I depressed? Is my anxiety too much anxiety? How would I even know? In this episode I break down what cognitive behavioral therapy actually is, where I think the clinical line sits (and where I'm honest that I don't know), when I tell a woman on a coaching call that she needs more help than coaching can give, and why so many people tell me years of talk therapy felt good but didn't change their lives. I also tell you how my brain has been throwing a fit since I decided to go to the gym every day, and what I'm doing with those old thoughts. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why "your thoughts create your feelings, which drive your actions" is simply how the brain works and anyone can talk about it (treating someone past the clinical line is a different thing entirely) The messy middle between "this season is hard" and a diagnosable disorder, from anxiety to stress eating to a husband's nightly drinks The moments I stop coaching and send a woman to get real help, including physical abuse and trauma that still feels like it's happening right now (that's when I point to an EMDR therapist) Why talk therapy can feel wonderful for years while nothing changes, and how the way coaching is set up (a set number of months to solve one problem) keeps it focused forward Progress isn't a straight line, so backsliding after a hard week doesn't erase how far you've come My every-day gym identity shift, which is cognitive behavioral thinking in action EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – The one-star review, and the question underneath it [05:00] – What CBT is, and the screening lists for diagnosable conditions [10:00] – Shoes in the cubbies, chocolate chips, and the spectrum of "is this clinical?" [15:00] – The messy middle: anxiety, alcohol, and when to get professional help [20:00] – When I refer women out, and why years of talk therapy don't always help [25:00] – How coaching is set up differently, my mom's great therapist, and EMDR [30:00] – Progress isn't a straight line, plus my every-day gym identity shift [35:00] – Disagreeing calmly, the Advent planning workshop, and the Silence Challenge LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Advent planning workshop, live Thursday, November 5: www.catholicmomcalm.com/advent-2026 Advent Silence Challenge in the Catholic Mom Calm community (starts Sunday, November 29): www.catholicmomcalm.com/community

Emma Hilger is a Catholic mom of three little ones, and she wrote a board book of rhyming affirmations for moms after a hard day when she realized her six-month-old didn't care what words she was reading to him... so what if they were the words SHE needed to hear? I've wanted to talk with her ever since I saw her Kickstarter, because I think every mom needs a book like this. We talk about why "I'm a bad mom" is usually "I'm not a perfect mom" in disguise, whether it's prideful to believe you're a good mom, the fear that being kind to yourself will make you lazy, and how to bridge your way to a new thought when you're not ready to believe it yet. At the end Emma reads the whole book out loud, so take a deep breath and let it be for you. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why motherhood might be the only job we do for years while telling ourselves we're bad at it "I'm a bad mom" is usually "I'm not a perfect mom," and seeing ourselves as we really are (not better and not worse) is the holy place to stand Why believing you're a good mom makes you MORE present with your kids, not lazier Bridge thoughts for the days you can't get the words out, and why you don't have to finish all your identity work before you start Real neglect vs. too much Netflix and PB&J, and why every mom we know is a good mom God chose you to be your children's mother, already knowing every mistake you'd make EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Meeting Emma, and how a hard day with a six-month-old became a book [05:00] – The only job we do while telling ourselves we're bad at it [10:00] – "Is it prideful to say I'm a good mom?" and not bad vs. not perfect [15:00] – Identity, bridge thoughts, and Philippians 4:8 [20:00] – Real neglect vs. normal mom worries, and Emma's next books (dads, teamwork, NICU families, a Catholic version) [25:00] – Memorizing scripture 100 times a day, and the relationship we worry about 20 years from now [30:00] – Emma reads the book, and where to find it LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Emma Hilger's board book for moms: https://goodmomboardbooks.com Bob Schuchts (healing work on wounds and vows). Be Healed Book Catholic Finishing School (mindset for teen girls): www.catholicfinishingschool.com

Maybe your mom doesn't seem to want time with your kids, or your in-laws would help but live too far away, or every visit comes with a comment about your family size or how you parent. Maybe you've watched a friend's mom swoop in after a new baby to cook and clean and hold everything together, and felt the sting of not having that. I've been doing this parenting thing mostly without family help too, so I'm walking you through the two kinds of work that bring me back to peace: sitting with Jesus, and the coaching side of clear requests, quiet boundaries, and catching my mind when it starts to spiral. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why someone can disagree with your parenting (or your family size) and still deeply love you, and why it feels so threatening anyway Park bench Jesus: telling the Lord how unfair it all is while looking at His wounds, and watching the hurt lose its hold How to make a clean request, and why a yes with a little annoyance mixed in still counts as love Quiet boundaries you never have to announce, for the "well, you chose this" comments and for family who want more access than you can give The deal I made with myself for when I catch myself ruminating (my brain always picks the Wedding at Cana) Giving equal airtime to what's wonderful about your parents and in-laws, including the hard parts that made you who you are EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Why we read family approval as proof of love [04:00] – The mom who doesn't want to watch the kids, and the superhero grandma down the street [07:00] – Park bench Jesus, His wounds, and hugging your family in heaven [11:00] – The theological work, the coaching work, and "let your yes be yes" [15:00] – Boundaries for "you chose this" and for family who show up unannounced [19:00] – Feeling the grief, accepting your cards, and the rosary deal for rumination [22:00] – What's amazing about them, and the love you're really chasing LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Catholic Mom Calm: https://catholicmomcalm.com Diary of St. Faustina: https://amzn.to/4iylkLq

You took the bath, went for the walk, said the prayer... and you still feel depleted. Sterling Jaquith explains why: when you trash-talk yourself all day, every bit of self-care pours into a cup full of holes. Plus the day a new friend saw her unfinished basement, and she chose not to poke a single hole. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why being mean to yourself all day drains you emotionally and physically Needle holes and pencil holes: the small digs vs. the big attacks on your vocation Metallica in a Renaissance museum: a beautiful life with a terrible soundtrack What Sterling did when a friend saw her concrete-floored basement EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] Why your self-care isn't working [02:30] The soundtrack of a mom's morning [05:00] The red cup and the holes [08:00] Metallica in the museum [10:00] The friend who saw the basement [14:00] The Advent planning workshop LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com