Worst Movies Ever Played

It’s fourth down and fangs out for the North Bend High School football team.Joey Clift joins us for the conclusion to Dark Side of the Noon. After Buff accidentally kills Postmaster Charlie with a remarkably powerful BB gun, Milton leads a forensic investigation to prove Charlie was a vampire, thus making the murder totally chill. Meanwhile, Tekanii investigates the presence of Russian vampires in the area, and starts by questioning his mortal enemies: The Otter Men. At the table, Brent wins the game thirty minutes early by choosing his favored tree for the final battle.Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.CREDITS:Buff McBicep: Joey CliftMilton T. Snazzwhimper: Geoffrey GoldenTekanii: Brent ButlerYour Director: Patrick BakerStory Editor: Stephen IndrisanoSound Design: Adam BakerFinancier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespodMOVIE TRIVIA: When the story was rejected as a Halloween episode of Northern Exposure, the writer then pitched it as a Christmas episode of Northern Exposure. He was then fired from the writing staff of Northern Exposure and wrote this movie.

Forget Friday Night Lights. This is Friday Night Bites!Comedian and TV writer Joey Clift joins us for Dark Side of the Noon. It's the winter solstice and the darkest day of the year in North Bend, Alaska. A tiny town with a secret, but most importantly a football game to win - that is until the rival team turns vampire. Now the town's only hope is dimwitted jock Buff McBicep, his coach/history teacher/cryptid enthusiast Wiley Pete, and local nerd Milton T. Snazzwhimper. At the table, Brent wonders what kind of pilot ratings creatures of the night might have. Geoffrey discovers he had a little Gary Gygax living in him the whole time.Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.CREDITS:Buff McBicep: Joey CliftMilton T. Snazzwhimper: Geoffrey GoldenTekanii: Brent ButlerYour Director: Patrick BakerStory Editor: Stephen IndrisanoSound Design: Adam BakerFinancier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespodMOVIE TRIVIA: The film’s writer initially pitched this story as a Halloween episode of Northern Exposure.

“You must be status and you must be quo, because I hate your f**king guts.” —Your adorable family cat, probablyJoan Ford joins us for the decidedly-adult children’s movie A Pilgrimage of Pets! Faced with certain incarceration in the pound, Avril and Kingy make a run for it to the woods, leaving Mae to fend for himself in the county pound. At the table (sort of), we watch helplessly as a motion picture editor misses precious moments in his young children’s lives because he has to repeatedly blur out a dog’s anus.Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.CREDITS:Avril: Joan FordKingy: Geoffrey GoldenMiddle-aged Ecclesiastes (Mae): Brent ButlerYour Director: Patrick BakerStory Editor: Stephen IndrisanoSound Design: Adam BakerFinancier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespodMOVIE TRIVIA: Based on his work in A Pilgrimage of Pets, the film’s Assistant Editor was hired to work on Human Centipede.

We did it, everyone. We made the most R-rated children’s movie ever.Comedian and TV writer Joan Ford joins us for A Pilgrimage of Pets! Three lovable pets are about to go on the adventure of nine lifetimes. At a music festival in Northern California, Kingy the idiot bloodhound, Mae the stuck-up kitty, and Avril the anarchist duck stay out partying, p**sing and sh**ting all night. When they wake up, their owners are gone and they have to find their way home. At the table, Patrick makes Brent roll on whether or not cats understand the concept of musicals.Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.CREDITS:Avril: Joan FordKingy: Geoffrey GoldenMiddle-aged Ecclesiastes (Mae): Brent ButlerYour Director: Patrick BakerStory Editor: Stephen IndrisanoSound Design: Adam BakerFinancier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespodMOVIE TRIVIA: It might seem easy to get a dog and a duck to literally fill a Mercedes Benz with p**s and s**t, but it actually took animal trainers months of work to get that shot.

If you ever encounter a giant, man-eating blob, consider scatting at it to make it go away.Robin Higgins joins us for part two of The Goo! When parasitic goo monsters threatens the city, Theo, Trina, and Bland Beige do what all heroes would do: take a sexy shower together for, uh, safety reasons. Then, they fight the monster using the power of collegiate a cappella. At the table, Patrick maybe impresses New England listeners and definitely bores everyone else with his knowledge of Boston landmarks.Worst Movies Ever Played is an actual-play comedy RPG podcast where the hosts create bad VHS movies. The films are made using only the power of imagination, a few pencils and dice, and a very expensive Hollywood sound designer.CREDITS:Trina Tara: Robin HigginsTheo Silverplum: Geoffrey GoldenBland Beige: Brent ButlerYour Director: Patrick BakerStory Editor: Stephen IndrisanoSound Design: Adam BakerFinancier: Our Venmo, which is @worstmoviespodMOVIE TRIVIA: The day after filming the sexy shower decontamination scene, the entire grip department called out “horny” from work.