<p>Do you ever feel behind?</p><p>There is a pervasive, silent pressure many of us feel—the idea that we are supposed to be at a certain career level by 30, married by another age, and owning a home soon after. If we miss these invisible deadlines, we feel like we are failing.</p><p>In this week’s episode, my guest calls this pressure the “social clock.” It is the belief that “I’m supposed to be here at this age... and if I’m not, I’m a failure”.</p><p>We build our lives around this scaffolding to guide us toward “success,” but we rarely stop to ask if the scaffolding itself is structurally sound or just an arbitrary, man-made concept.</p><p>My guest on this episode, <strong>Ted Neill</strong>, knows firsthand what happens when that scaffolding collapses.</p><p>At 34 years old, Ted seemed to have an enviable setup. After a career setback, he had secured a rare full-ride scholarship for an MBA program and was working at the university. Yet, despite these achievements, he was internalizing deep feelings of failure. He had been laid off and was wrestling with societal concepts of masculinity and what it means to be a “provider”.</p><p>“It’s amazing the way depression messes with your head,” he tells me in the episode. “There are so many things that I had going for me... But all I could see was that as a failure”.</p><p>This disconnect between his external reality and his internal state led to a harrowing mental health crisis. In this incredibly vulnerable conversation, Ted shares the timeline of a year-long spiral into suicidal ideation, which began in 2011 and intensified until the impulse to end his life was a constant presence in his mind.</p><p>We also explore the deep roots of this pain, touching on the profound trauma he experienced years prior while working in an orphanage. Witnessing the death of innocent children from preventable diseases “broke” the religious framework he had inherited and left him with lasting survivor’s guilt—a feeling that he had abandoned children he couldn’t save.</p><p>This episode is a difficult but necessary listen. It challenges us to examine how much we rely on external rewards and validation to feel a sense of “enoughness”.</p><p>If you have ever felt crushed by the weight of expectation or felt like you are falling behind a schedule you never agreed to, this conversation is for you. It’s time to smash the social clock.</p><p>About the Guest</p><p><strong>Ted Neill</strong></p><p>Ted Neill is a mental health advocate, writer, and speaker who openly shares his journey of healing and recovery. A former hospice nurse’s aide and international aid worker, Ted’s experiences in Kenya and other regions informed his master’s in public health and his subsequent career with organizations like Care, Save the Children, and UNICEF. After a personal crisis led to a hospitalization for depression and suicidal ideation, Ted began the work of processing his past trauma. He is the author of the memoir <em>Two Years of Wonder</em>, which chronicles his time working in an orphanage, and <em>20 Years of Unraveling</em>, which details his experience as a whistleblower and his healing journey.</p><p>* <strong>Website:</strong> <a target="_blank" href="https://tedneillauthor.com/">tedneillauthor.com</a></p><p>* <strong>Books:</strong> <em>Two Years of Wonder</em> and <em>20 Years of Unraveling</em></p><p><em>If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available. Dial 988 in the US and Canada, or dial 111 in the UK. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.</em></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2">flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe</a>