The Big Four Oh: The Podcast About Turning 40

At 45, MJ Rod discovered that the man she'd believed was her birth father biologically couldn't have been. What followed was a years-long investigation: cold calls, DNA tests, dead ends, and a mother who went silent rather than tell the truth. MJ eventually cracked the case. But the real story isn't about who her father turned out to be. It's about what MJ discovered about herself in the process of finding him, and why it took until 45 for any of it to be possible.Guest Bio Melissa Jean Rod helps women heal from the pain of absent fathers and discover God as the loving Father who never leaves. A proud Texan raised in the little town of Cut and Shoot (yes, it’s real), Melissa writes with warmth, wit, and a deep sense of purpose. Married, a mom of six (a mix of step, birth and adopted), and Honey to five wild and wonderful grandsons, she’s also a sunset-chasing, chocolate-sneaking, Jesus-loving storyteller. Her debut self-help/memoir, The Daddy Files: A Story of Secrets, Forgiveness, and the Search for Identity is all about healing through honesty, faith, and a little laughter.Turning 40 and Rewriting Your Origin StoryMJ Rod spent most of her life filling in a blank she didn't realize was there. Raised in a warm, loud, loving extended family in Texas, she grew up without her birth father, and built her whole sense of self around pleasing the people who were there. Then, at 45, while tracing her family tree, a blood type on an old military document stopped her cold. The man she had been told and believed was her biological father couldn't have been. What followed was a years-long investigation into her own origins, one that would crack open not just the mystery of where she came from, but everything she thought she knew about who she was.Episode HighlightsMJ discovered at 45 that her birth father wasn't who she'd always believed, not from a confession or a DNA test, but from a blood type she had looked at dozens of times without registering what it meant.With no background in investigation but a lifelong dream of working in law enforcement, MJ built her own case from scratch, tracking down military Facebook groups, cold-calling strangers, and eventually hiring a professional genealogist through Ancestry.com to get her across the finish line.The search led her to her birth father's sister, who welcomed MJ without hesitation and even insisted on doing a DNA test, not because she doubted her, but so MJ would never have to doubt herself again.Finding her biological family didn't just answer a question. It answered a feeling. MJ discovered she shared her father's speech patterns, his curiosity about other cultures, his habit of pausing before he spoke, connection she had been searching for her whole life, arriving through a sister rather than a father.The discovery briefly cracked open every old insecurity MJ had worked to outgrow. But unlike her younger self, she moved through it, and came out the other side with a clarity about her own worth she hadn't had before.MJ also had to reckon with her mother's silence. For a year during MJ’s search, her mom stopped returning her calls entirely. What MJ eventually understood was that her mother wasn't angry, she was protecting herself, at MJ's expense.By the time her forties finished with her, MJ had written a book, started a nonprofit, raised money for kids in foster care, learned to love public speaking, and stopped calling herself "just a mom" - for good.Midlife has a way of surfacing what we spent decades avoiding, and MJ's story is proof that the thing you were most afraid to find out might be what finally sets you free. She came into her forties thinking the question was where she came from. She left knowing the more important answer was who she already was.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and follow the show and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Guest ResourcesConnect with MJ on Facebook Connect with MJ on InstagramMelissa’s websiteAre you stuck in people-pleasing mode?Download Stephanie’s People Pleasing Playbook to understand where it comes from, how it’s showing up, and what it’s costing you. www.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaser ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Dr. Polly Watson did everything right. Medical school, residency, a thriving OB-GYN practice, two kids. And yet somewhere in her mid-thirties she looked up and realized the career she built felt nothing like the one she intended. What followed was a decade of discomfort, reckoning, and a slow, scary pivot to something that felt much better. In this episode, Polly talks about why women's perimenopause symptoms get dismissed, what conventional medicine gets wrong about menopause, and the fear she hid behind a mortgage payment for longer than she’d like. If you've ever had a life that looked fine from the outside but felt wrong on the inside, this one is for you.Guest Bio Dr. Polly Watson is a board-certified OB-GYN with over 20 years of experience, specializing in menopausal, sexual, and functional medicine. She is an expert in addressing a wide range of hormonal concerns, including PCOS, PMS, perimenopause, menopause, low libido, and sexual pain. As a certified practitioner with the Institute for Functional Medicine (IFM), Dr. Watson integrates holistic care approaches that go beyond traditional medicine through her North Carolina-based practice, Hormone Wellness MD.Her specialized training includes menopausal medicine through The Menopause Society, and sexual medicine through the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health. Dr. Watson partners closely with her patients, utilizing a combination of lifestyle modifications, nutrition, mindfulness, bio-identical hormones, and supplements to optimize hormonal balance and overall well-being.Turning 40 and becoming the doctor your mother deservedDr. Polly Watson spent nearly a decade doing everything right. Eight years of postgraduate training, a full OB-GYN practice, two kids, and a schedule that looked successful from every angle. But somewhere in her mid-thirties, she picked her head up and realized she felt more like an insurance clerk than a physician. What followed wasn't a quick pivot. It was a slow, sometimes terrifying, decade-long journey from conventional medicine into functional gynecology, from following the path to building her own. Along the way she navigated early menopause, a failed first business, a fear she wasn't quite ready to name, and the hard work of becoming the kind of doctor she always intended to be. She got there. And this conversation is about how.Episode HighlightsPolly traces her original drive to become a doctor back to watching her mother go through early menopause at 38 and receive what she describes as abysmal care, a pattern of women not being heard that she would spend her entire career pushing back against.The arrival of electronic health records transformed medicine in ways that left many physicians feeling like they were working for insurance companies rather than patients. Polly felt it acutely, and it became one of the early signals that something needed to change.When patients started arriving with garbage bags full of supplements and questions conventional medicine couldn't answer, Polly followed her curiosity into integrative and functional medicine spaces and found a world of doctors who were actually happy.At 39, sweating through the sheets and struggling to remember the names of drugs she prescribed daily, Polly experienced her own early perimenopause.She breaks down the outdated science behind hormone replacement therapy, debunking the Women's Health Initiative study clearly and accessibly, and makes a compelling case for why the conversation needs to shift from fear to informed decision-making.Polly founded Hormone Wellness MD in January 2019, in her mid-forties, with no formal business training and a previous failed business in her rearview mirror. She reflects honestly on the fear that kept her in the wrong place longer than she needed to be.Her take on menopause as a second adolescence, a chance to separate from old identities and show up with more intention, reframes a transition most women dread into something genuinely worth getting curious about.Polly's story is ultimately about learning to trust the discomfort, even when everything on the outside looks completely fine. She didn't leave conventional medicine because it stopped working. She left because she was finally honest about the fact that it stopped working for her, and that fear, not logistics, was the thing standing in the way. What she found on the other side is a practice she's proud of, patients she actually has time for, and a Tuesday night pottery class where she's learning to stop forcing the clay. Not bad for a decade's worth of slow, scary work.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate the show, follow wherever you listen, and share it with someone who might need to hear it. It genuinely helps more people find these conversations.Guest ResourcesListen to the Menopause Rescue PodcastConnect with Polly on FacebookConnect with Polly on InstagramAre you stuck in people-pleasing mode?Download Stephanie’s People Pleasing Playbook to understand where it comes from, how it’s showing up, and what it’s costing you. www.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaserConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

John King spent decades building a life that looked successful on paper, until it all unraveled in a single moment in his mid-40s. What followed wasn’t a clean reset. It was years of redefining what normal meant for him and then rebuilding according to that definition. This conversation gets into what happens when you can’t push your way through anymore, and how small, daily choices can become the foundation for something entirely different. It looks at identity, resilience, and illustrates what it really means to find your way back to yourself.Guest Bios Dr. John A. King is a Warumungu man, childhood abuse and trafficking survivor, and founder of The Phoenix Collective, a platform for trauma recovery built by survivors, for survivors. Drawing on decades of lived experience, he equips men to face PTSD, rebuild identity, and develop the mental toughness needed to thrive. An award-winning filmmaker, author, and speaker, Dr. King blends raw honesty with practical strategies to help men heal without losing their edge.Melissa King is the co-founder of the Phoenix Collective and a certified life coach with a decade of experience in trauma recovery, wellness, and organizational leadership. In addition to her nonprofit work, Melissa is the co-founder of November Media, a social impact marketing firm with a digital reach exceeding 4 million.Turning 40 and redefining what normal meansJohn King built a life that, from the outside, looked like success by every possible measure. He was driven, accomplished, and constantly moving. But in his mid-40s, everything changed in a single moment when long-suppressed childhood trauma resurfaced, setting off a chain reaction that dismantled his marriage, his career, and his identity. What followed wasn’t a quick recovery. It was years of rebuilding from the ground up, redefining who he was, what “normal” meant, and how to create a life that actually worked for him. This conversation with John and his wife Melissa is about that unraveling, and the intentional, often unexpected ways he found his way back.In this episode, we talk about:How a life that looks successful can actually be built on survival and constant motionWhat it feels like when everything that once worked suddenly stops workingThe difference between burnout and what John describes as a complete “system failure”Why rebuilding your life often starts with small, daily decisions rather than big changesThe shift from external validation to internal authority, and why it’s so uncomfortableHow John developed a set of tools to manage his mental health and shorten recovery timeThe role of steady, supportive relationships during periods of deep transitionThis conversation provides a different lens on healing. There’s no clean “before and after;” instead, it provides a picture of what it means to live with ongoing challenges while building the awareness and tools to navigate them. It’s a reminder that transformation isn’t always about eliminating struggle, but about learning how to come back to yourself, again and again, with more clarity each time.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast with someone who might need to hear it.Guest ResourcesFree gifts from John & Melissa for TBFO listeners:Register for free talks and get free replays of any past talksPurchase lifetime access to the Phoenix Collective course catalog for $27 (regularly $97). Enter the coupon PHX27 at checkout.Visit John’s websiteFind John on FacebookFind John on InstagramFind John on TikTokAre you stuck in people-pleasing mode?Download Stephanie’s People Pleasing Playbook to understand where it comes from, how it’s showing up, and what it’s costing you. ww.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaser ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Zoey Charif describes how a painful breakup in her early thirties forced her to confront her lack of self-worth and the relationship patterns she had repeated for years. Growing up across continents, Zoey was no stranger to change, but this moment required a different kind of transition: an internal one. By examining her values and the beliefs guiding her choices, she began rebuilding her life in a way that finally felt aligned. Zoey and Stephanie explore self-awareness, authenticity, and the freedom that comes when you stop living by what life “should” look like and start choosing what actually fits you.Guest Bio Zoey Charif isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s providing a blueprint for it. As the author of “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated”, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships.Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, Canada, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework isn’t just theoretical, it’s coachable, actionable, and designed to help people transform how they choose, build, and sustain relationships.Her work is a wake-up call: love isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and emotional mastery. Outside of the relationship space, Zoey is a powerhouse entrepreneur — the founder of Business Plans USA— helping startups and established businesses secure funding and scale with precision. Whether she’s helping people find aligned love or aligned success, Zoey’s mission is the same: to turn hope into mastery and potential into reality.Turning 40 and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuckZoey Charif has spent most of her life navigating change. Born in Afghanistan and raised across multiple countries, transition has been part of her story from the beginning. But in her early thirties, after a painful breakup left her questioning her self-worth and direction, Zoey hit a personal rock bottom that forced her to look inward. Instead of continuing down the same path, she developed a framework to examine her values, rebuild her confidence, and change the patterns shaping her relationships and life. In this conversation, Zoey shares how that moment of self-reflection led to a rapid and profound shift, one that ultimately helped her create a healthier relationship, a stronger sense of identity, and a life that feels much more aligned with who she truly is.In This Episode, We Talk AboutHow a childhood filled with constant transition shaped Zoey’s resilience and adaptability, buy ultimately affected her sense of selfThe breakup in her early thirties that forced her to confront her sense of self-worth and the patterns in her relationshipsWhy many of us spend our twenties and early thirties blaming external circumstances before realizing we may be part of the patternHow small shifts in mindset, daily habits, and environment can trigger surprisingly fast personal transformationMeeting her husband at a dog park and discovering the difference between dramatic relationships and peaceful onesLetting go of comparison and embracing an unconventional life path as she approaches 40Self-awareness can completely change the trajectory of a life. Zoey shares how recognizing her own role in repeating relationship patterns allowed her to break those cycles and create something healthier. Along the way, she and Stephanie reflect on the broader midlife transition many people experience, the shift from external validation to internal alignment, and the surprising freedom that comes from letting go of expectations about what life “should” look like.If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear this conversation.Guest ResourcesZoey’s book, “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated”Connect with Zoey on InstagramZoey’s websiteDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Cora Rennie was a good girl who did everything “right.” Military. Marriage. Motherhood. Long-term partnership. From the outside, her life looked good. Inside, though, something felt off. Cora shares how divorce, a passionate but painful second relationship, and the looming reality of an empty nest forced her to confront the fact that her nervous system, not her conscious mind, had been choosing her partners. As she learned about people pleasing, the fawning response, and what safety really feels like in the body, she started making choices from a different place. If you have ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns in love, or why midlife feels like a blank slate you did not ask for, this episode will land.Guest Bio Cora is a recovering people-pleaser, and identifies as a highly sensitive deep-feeler. Through her training to become a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, Cora gained profound insights into the body's innate wisdom, and learned directly in her own body, the importance of a felt-sense of safety.Cora incorporates the foundations of the cranio modality with her personal gifts and own lifelong healing experiences, to support others in their recovery-of-self processes. She believes there are key components to true, deep, lasting healing that communicate directly to the physiological wiring of our systems, and providing those elements allows for us to cultivate a deep sense of self, resilience, and trust.Her work combines an understanding of natural body responses with deeply attuned presence, for those navigating complex emotional landscapes.Turning 40 and choosing safety over chemistryWhen Cora Rennie divorced her husband at 36 after 18 years together, it shocked everyone around her. From the outside, their marriage looked steady and intact. Inside, they were two conflict-avoidant people growing further apart through miscarriage, postpartum struggles, military deployments, and years of emotional disconnection. What followed was a fast, passionate relationship filled with chemistry, red flags, financial strain, betrayal, and hard-earned clarity. But beneath the relationship drama was a woman beginning to understand how a lifetime of living by “the next step” had shaped her choices. In her early 40s, staring down the reality of becoming an empty nester, Cora finally made a choice that felt like her own. And that changed everything. In This Episode, We Talk About:How a “good girl” identity can quietly become a people-pleasing pattern that runs your lifeThe moment Cora realized she could not stay in a marriage where emotions were unwelcome but intimacy was expectedWhy intense chemistry can cloud discernment, and how oxytocin plays a role in bondingOverlooking red flags, merging finances, and losing herself in a relationship that felt like a “love story” but not a “life story”Reconnecting with creativity, sensuality, and art as part of reclaiming her identityDiscovering the fawning response and how the nervous system can unconsciously choose our partnersFacing the empty nest transition and asking, “Who am I now?”The difference between living by default and making a conscious, heart-led choiceHow biodynamic cranio psychotherapy and nervous system regulation reshaped her healingCora’s story is not just about divorce, dating, or even people pleasing. It is about the shift from living by internalized programming to living by conscious choice. For most of her life, each step she took felt predetermined, like the next logical box to check. Military. Marriage. Motherhood. Partnership. Even divorce felt like the inevitable next move. But in midlife, she looked at a blank slate. In the stillness before her youngest left home, she realized this was the first time she could choose without reacting, without fawning, without following a script. When the external noise quieted enough that she could hear something internal speak up, she found the heartbeat of this midlife transition so many of us experience.If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh. It helps more people find these conversations and realize they are not alone in their own turning-40 transition.Guest ResourcesCora’s offer for listeners: $40 OFF the Understanding People Pleasing Summit VIP All Access Pass Use promo code BIGFOUROHFind Cora on YouTubeConnect with Cora on Facebook Connect with Cora on Instagram Recovering people pleaser? Same here.From Pleasing to Peace is a free guide based on real stories from this podcast: people who’ve done the brave work of untangling people pleasing at midlife. www.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaser ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications