Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

In this episode, Ash has a raw conversation with husband, father, and sober human Vim Verma as they discuss addiction, identity, and what happens when you finally stop running from yourself. Vim opens up about growing up in a mixed-race culture where drinking was normalised, emotions were rarely spoken about, and asking for help felt almost impossible.Together, they unpack the quiet pressures of family expectations, the heavy emotional charge of the holiday season, and the stigma that keeps so many people suffering in silence. There are moments of grief, moments of clarity, and Vim’s classic humour, that remind us how human this journey really is.Vim also shares how his recovery program, meditation, and spiritual practice became a turning point, helping him strip back the noise and reconnect with who he is beneath the coping mechanisms. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, choosing courage over comfort, and discovering that real healing starts on the inside.If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, felt trapped by expectations, or wondered what life could look like if you truly listened to yourself, this episode will land.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery01:34 Vim Verma's Journey to Sobriety03:45 Navigating Sobriety During the Holidays04:54 Cultural Influences on Drinking07:24 The Impact of Family Dynamics07:53 Getting to Know Vim: Daily Life and Fun14:06 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story16:20 The Progression of Alcoholism19:05 Consequences of Drinking: Crashing and Bashing28:18 The Turning Point: Seeking Help31:44 Experiences in Early Recovery38:47 Finding Hope in Recovery41:54 Life After Sobriety: Changes and Growth47:50 Navigating Life's Challenges in Recovery51:23 The Role of Support in Recovery59:46 Non-Negotiables for a Happy LifeYou can connect with Vim through his Instagram here. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this special episode, Ash is joined by her longtime friend Ash Murray. For years, both women battled addiction silently, only sharing the full depths of their stories with one another after coming into recovery. Today, Ash Murray is the Eating Disorder Lead and Therapist at The Wave Clinic in Malaysia, with her expertise grounded not just in study, but in lived experience.Ash opens up about her personal journey through eating disorders and alcohol addiction, sharing what recovery has truly looked like beyond the surface. From the isolating depths of illness which nearly took her life, to the slow rebuilding of trust, self-worth, and connection, she reflects on the pivotal role that rehab, honesty, healing and self-care have played in finding lasting freedom.Together, they explore the intersection of therapy and lived experience, how vulnerability and empathy can become powerful tools for healing both self and others. They unpack the mental health challenges that intensified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the importance of ongoing support in maintaining balance and wellbeing.Episode chapter:00:00 Introduction to Ashley Murray's Journey02:57 Life in Malaysia and Work at the Wave Clinic05:46 Navigating COVID-19 in Treatment08:21 The Impact of COVID-19 on Mental Health11:08 A Photo that Represents Struggles13:55 The Super Yacht Experience and Its Consequences16:27 The Turning Point: Seeking Help19:22 Life in Bali and the Struggle with Addiction22:16 The Rock Bottom Moment24:49 Desperation and the Path to Recovery27:08 The Turning Point: Reaching Out for Help31:53 Childhood Struggles: The Roots of Eating Disorders44:03 Escaping Reality: The Need to Hide48:25 Facing the Truth: A Journey of Self-Discovery54:28 The Struggle of Surrendering Control57:02 The Complexity of Eating Disorders59:13 The Power of Intervention01:00:41 Transformation Through Therapy01:04:11 Building Trust in Recovery01:06:15 The Importance of Honesty01:08:57 Setting Boundaries for Recovery01:13:03 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeConnect with Ash through:https://thewaveclinic.com/https://www.instagram.com/thewaveclinic/Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this episode, Ash sits down with husband, father, and business owner James Date to explore what life looks like after addiction—and how recovery has reshaped the way he moves through the world.James shares how community, service, and genuine connection became the anchors of his sobriety, transforming what once felt like isolation into a life rich with meaning and purpose. He speaks openly about the power of vulnerability, the role of daily routines and prayer in keeping him grounded, and how embracing honesty has deepened his relationships at home and beyond.Together, Ash and James confront the lingering stigma around addiction and discuss the strength it takes to ask for help. Through moments of reflection and gratitude, James reveals the quiet joy found in showing up authentically each day—a reminder that recovery isn’t just about living without substances, but about rediscovering who you are underneath it all.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to James Date and His Journey02:54 The Importance of Connection and Community in Recovery05:52 Daily Routines and Spiritual Practices08:58 The Role of Surrender in Recovery11:58 Compassion and Kindness in Daily Life15:01 Finding Joy in Service and Helping Others17:57 The Impact of Sponsorship in Recovery21:03 The Struggles of Identifying as an Addict24:03 Behind the Smile: A Photo Reflection26:53 The Journey to Acknowledging Addiction30:08 Understanding the Roots of Addiction32:54 The Ongoing Journey of Recovery36:18 Understanding Alcoholism and Addiction38:30 Rock Bottom Moments42:14 Finding the Right Rehab49:34 The Journey of Outpatient Recovery51:23 The Importance of Vulnerability56:54 Reconnecting with Self and Family01:02:25 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeConnect with James below:Instagram: @slayingsoberPodcast: Slaying Sober - listen on Spotify Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this solo episode, Ash challenges the myth that hustle creates happiness and asks a better question: what if the dream life is built through alignment and embodiment instead of force?Through her own transformation from corporate burnout and addiction to sobriety, surrender and spacious success, she explores why achievement without fulfilment leaves us empty and how co-creating with life can deliver breakthroughs hustle never could.She unpacks the Law of Least Effort, the power of nervous system safety, and the practical habits she’s using to set up 2026, including her word of the year and a new manifesto that prioritises alignment, presence, ease and self trust. If you’re tired of pushing, proving or performing, this episode shows you how to create more by doing less and build a life that feels good on the inside.Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:A Return To You | One Day Retreat Sunday 22nd February, 2026Tickets available here. Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

After years of living with a debilitating condition, Rick Watson has learned what it truly means to face fear and find freedom on the other side. In this episode, the holistic coach and gestalt therapist in training opens up about the profound transformation that followed his diagnosis, the trauma of constant uncertainty, and the life-altering decision to undergo brain surgery.  Rick shares how recovery from both the physical and emotional toll of his condition sparked a deeper journey toward authenticity and self-understanding. As he describes his transition into therapy, he unpacks the core principles of gestalt work: presence, honesty, and the courage to be seen as you are. The conversation explores how health challenges can reshape identity, relationships, and purpose and how taking full responsibility for our emotions becomes the key to freedom.  Together, Ash and Rick reflect on themes of vulnerability, generational patterns, and the importance of truly listening to ourselves and others. They discuss burnout in helping professions, the meaning found in midlife transitions, and the art of mapping one’s inner world to reveal clarity and connection. Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Rick Watson and His Journey02:58 Living with Epilepsy: The Hidden Struggles05:55 The Impact of Brain Surgery and Recovery08:57 Life After Epilepsy: Embracing Freedom11:54 Transitioning to Therapy: A New Path15:02 Gestalt Therapy: Understanding the Modality18:05 The Importance of Being Present20:48 Personal Growth Through Therapy Retreats23:58 Authenticity: The Journey to Being Yourself32:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Men's Circles35:56 Unpacking Core Wounds and Generational Patterns39:48 Navigating Burnout and Protecting Energy44:04 The Importance of Listening and Emotional Responsibility49:00 Finding Meaning in Midlife Transitions55:53 Mapping the Inner Self for Clarity01:00:59 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeYou can connect with Rick through:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rickwatson_/Website: https://www.rickwatson.com.au/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3r8QaWJYgB73pOF9b0Hi0t?si=76e4b44b93864ba0