<description>&lt;p&gt;I stepped into congregational ministry when most people my age were still trying to find their footing. I was not guiding teens or speaking to young adults. I was the youngest person in the room. That stayed the case until my wife started attending with us, and she is only a year younger.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;At twenty-one, fresh out of preaching school, I often felt like an imposter. Not because I lacked desire, but because I knew how much life I had not yet lived. Yet ministry does not wait for you to feel ready.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I found myself sitting with couples on the edge of divorce. Talking with parents who were cut off from their children. Walking with families facing terminal diagnoses. Trying to preach, teach, marry, and bury, all while I was still figuring out what adulthood even meant. The strain showed up as doubts, emotional fatigue, and a few humbling lessons learned the hard way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;One moment that has stayed with me is definitely worth sharing for this reflection. A dear sister asked whether she should leave our congregation because of deep and complicated conflict. I was single. Young. Barely out of school. And she wanted clarity about something shaped by years of heartache. I wish I could remember exactly what I told her. Some memories from those early years sit blurry in my mind. Regardless of what I did share, she eventually made the move along with her family and as far as I and her can tell, things seemingly are better.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This reflection, however, is not about her or even my younger self. It is about the lessons I wish I had understood back then. Lessons about disagreements. Lessons about kindness. Lessons about how God uses all of these to grow us. And maybe, just maybe, how I could have helped others in a more balanced and learned way.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Concerning Disagreements&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Disagreements come in different shapes and different levels of weight. Some are mutual and obvious. Others live quietly inside one person while the other remains completely unaware. Those are often the ones that create the most confusion.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Not every disagreement carries a moral obligation to force a perfect resolution. Some tensions simply will not untangle on this side of Heaven. In those moments, we trust God to be both just and merciful to all involved.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understanding this gives us room to breathe. Disagreements are part of being human in a world that is still waiting to be redeemed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Concerning Kindness&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kindness is sometimes mistaken for softness, avoidance, or weakness. Scripture paints a more wholistic and balanced picture.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Paul tells us that kindness is born of the Spirit in &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205%3A22&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Galatians 5:22&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. It is something God grows in us as we learn to walk with Him. It is not a tactic. It is not a personality type. It is a testimony to who we belong to.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Biblical kindness is not the shallow politeness our culture celebrates. It is the strength that holds truth in one hand and compassion in the other. It is what allowed Jesus to cry over lost souls yet still speak firmly to those who misled others.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kindness does not force us to choose between conviction and mercy. If it feels like we must choose, it may be that the world shaped our view of kindness more than Scripture did. Additionally, kindness does not seek to dominate through might or majority polls, it merely shows up daily through the efforts and posture of those shaped by Jesus.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Concerning My Heart&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A reflection like this matters only when it reaches our own heart first. The common instinct is to think of someone else who needs to hear it. That instinct often comes from a quiet desire to justify our position in a conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But change begins inside.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kindness grows in a willing heart, a humble spirit, and genuine courage.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I am asking God’s Spirit to reshape my own heart in this area. Maybe you are doing the same. As I do so, here are the questions I return to often:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Is my kindness dependent on reciprocity?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Is my disagreement rooted in the issue, or is it tied to my pride, shame, or hurt?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Can I imagine a healthy future with the person or persons I disagree with?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Would pushing for resolution right now create deeper harm?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Can I give myself permission to pray, breathe, and wait without guilt?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;* &lt;strong&gt;Is my idea of kindness shaped by my feelings or by Scripture?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider Kindness at Work&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is a moment in the early church that gives us a quiet, powerful picture of kindness shaping restoration.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Paul and Barnabas disagreed sharply over John Mark in &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%2015&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Acts 15&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Paul felt Mark was not ready for the journey. Barnabas chose to give him another chance. Their disagreement was so sharp that they parted ways.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Scripture gives us no record of a conversation where they resolved it. No details about how they talked it through. No step-by-step account of reconciliation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;But years later, while writing from prison, Paul said this about Mark:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;“Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;(&lt;strong&gt;2 Timothy 4:11&lt;/strong&gt;).&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We see the beginning of the conflict. And we see the outcome. Everything in between is unseen.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yet it is not hard to imagine what filled that space.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Men shaped by Jesus.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hearts softened by the Spirit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kindness that refused to freeze someone at their lowest moment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Their account reminds us that disagreements do not have to end relationships. And kindness can work quietly in places Scripture does not describe.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Finally, Concerning the Future&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Disagreements, hurt, and unresolved tension will always touch our lives. But we look toward a future where God removes all of it. A world with no pain. No division. No conflict.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Until then, kindness gives us small glimpses of what that world will be like. It does not erase every problem, but it helps us grow toward the likeness of Christ.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So let us strive to become:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Transformed. &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A2&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Romans 12:2&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Peacemakers. &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A9&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Matthew 5:9&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Christ-centered. &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians%203%3A1-3&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Colossians 3:1-3&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Patient. &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%205%3A7-8&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;James 5:7-8&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;And above all, Kind. &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%204%3A32&amp;#38;version=NASB"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ephesians 4:32&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;These virtues help us walk through disagreements with humility, maturity, and hope.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Next Steps&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this reflection speaks to you, consider taking a few next steps.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spend time reading how Christians throughout history handled conflict and restoration.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Reflect on the questions above and journal through them one at a time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pray specifically for the Spirit to grow kindness in you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Take one small action toward someone you disagree with. Not to solve everything, but simply to open a door.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Growth often begins with small, steady choices.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Linked here&lt;/strong&gt; is a book I found very useful in my moments of weakness that has in some way, shaped this very reflection. I would strongly encourage that you give it a read if you have not yet come across it: &lt;a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1802541403?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations (Christian book on disagreement, arguments, conflict resolution, disunity.)&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this reflection encouraged you and you would like to support the work, you can do so through my &lt;strong&gt;Buy Me a Coffee link&lt;/strong&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your kindness means more than you know, and I am grateful for you.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Get full access to Journey With Jesus at &lt;a href="https://singhjonathan78.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;#38;utm_campaign=CTA_4"&gt;singhjonathan78.substack.com/subscribe&lt;/a&gt;</description>

Journey With Jesus Podcast

Jonny Singh

The Rationale of Kindness

FEB 20, 202610 MIN
Journey With Jesus Podcast

The Rationale of Kindness

FEB 20, 202610 MIN

Description

<p>I stepped into congregational ministry when most people my age were still trying to find their footing. I was not guiding teens or speaking to young adults. I was the youngest person in the room. That stayed the case until my wife started attending with us, and she is only a year younger.</p><p>At twenty-one, fresh out of preaching school, I often felt like an imposter. Not because I lacked desire, but because I knew how much life I had not yet lived. Yet ministry does not wait for you to feel ready.</p><p>I found myself sitting with couples on the edge of divorce. Talking with parents who were cut off from their children. Walking with families facing terminal diagnoses. Trying to preach, teach, marry, and bury, all while I was still figuring out what adulthood even meant. The strain showed up as doubts, emotional fatigue, and a few humbling lessons learned the hard way.</p><p>One moment that has stayed with me is definitely worth sharing for this reflection. A dear sister asked whether she should leave our congregation because of deep and complicated conflict. I was single. Young. Barely out of school. And she wanted clarity about something shaped by years of heartache. I wish I could remember exactly what I told her. Some memories from those early years sit blurry in my mind. Regardless of what I did share, she eventually made the move along with her family and as far as I and her can tell, things seemingly are better.</p><p>This reflection, however, is not about her or even my younger self. It is about the lessons I wish I had understood back then. Lessons about disagreements. Lessons about kindness. Lessons about how God uses all of these to grow us. And maybe, just maybe, how I could have helped others in a more balanced and learned way.</p><p><strong>Concerning Disagreements</strong></p><p>Disagreements come in different shapes and different levels of weight. Some are mutual and obvious. Others live quietly inside one person while the other remains completely unaware. Those are often the ones that create the most confusion.</p><p>Not every disagreement carries a moral obligation to force a perfect resolution. Some tensions simply will not untangle on this side of Heaven. In those moments, we trust God to be both just and merciful to all involved.</p><p>Understanding this gives us room to breathe. Disagreements are part of being human in a world that is still waiting to be redeemed.</p><p><strong>Concerning Kindness</strong></p><p>Kindness is sometimes mistaken for softness, avoidance, or weakness. Scripture paints a more wholistic and balanced picture.</p><p>Paul tells us that kindness is born of the Spirit in <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%205%3A22&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Galatians 5:22</strong></a>. It is something God grows in us as we learn to walk with Him. It is not a tactic. It is not a personality type. It is a testimony to who we belong to.</p><p>Biblical kindness is not the shallow politeness our culture celebrates. It is the strength that holds truth in one hand and compassion in the other. It is what allowed Jesus to cry over lost souls yet still speak firmly to those who misled others.</p><p>Kindness does not force us to choose between conviction and mercy. If it feels like we must choose, it may be that the world shaped our view of kindness more than Scripture did. Additionally, kindness does not seek to dominate through might or majority polls, it merely shows up daily through the efforts and posture of those shaped by Jesus.</p><p><strong>Concerning My Heart</strong></p><p>A reflection like this matters only when it reaches our own heart first. The common instinct is to think of someone else who needs to hear it. That instinct often comes from a quiet desire to justify our position in a conflict.</p><p>But change begins inside.</p><p>Kindness grows in a willing heart, a humble spirit, and genuine courage.</p><p>I am asking God’s Spirit to reshape my own heart in this area. Maybe you are doing the same. As I do so, here are the questions I return to often:</p><p>* <strong>Is my kindness dependent on reciprocity?</strong></p><p>* <strong>Is my disagreement rooted in the issue, or is it tied to my pride, shame, or hurt?</strong></p><p>* <strong>Can I imagine a healthy future with the person or persons I disagree with?</strong></p><p>* <strong>Would pushing for resolution right now create deeper harm?</strong></p><p>* <strong>Can I give myself permission to pray, breathe, and wait without guilt?</strong></p><p>* <strong>Is my idea of kindness shaped by my feelings or by Scripture?</strong></p><p><strong>Consider Kindness at Work</strong></p><p>There is a moment in the early church that gives us a quiet, powerful picture of kindness shaping restoration.</p><p>Paul and Barnabas disagreed sharply over John Mark in <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%2015&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Acts 15</strong></a>. Paul felt Mark was not ready for the journey. Barnabas chose to give him another chance. Their disagreement was so sharp that they parted ways.</p><p>Scripture gives us no record of a conversation where they resolved it. No details about how they talked it through. No step-by-step account of reconciliation.</p><p>But years later, while writing from prison, Paul said this about Mark:</p><p>“Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service”</p><p>(<strong>2 Timothy 4:11</strong>).</p><p>We see the beginning of the conflict. And we see the outcome. Everything in between is unseen.</p><p>Yet it is not hard to imagine what filled that space.</p><p>Men shaped by Jesus.</p><p>Hearts softened by the Spirit.</p><p>Kindness that refused to freeze someone at their lowest moment.</p><p>Their account reminds us that disagreements do not have to end relationships. And kindness can work quietly in places Scripture does not describe.</p><p><strong>Finally, Concerning the Future</strong></p><p>Disagreements, hurt, and unresolved tension will always touch our lives. But we look toward a future where God removes all of it. A world with no pain. No division. No conflict.</p><p>Until then, kindness gives us small glimpses of what that world will be like. It does not erase every problem, but it helps us grow toward the likeness of Christ.</p><p>So let us strive to become:</p><p>Transformed. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A2&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Romans 12:2</strong></a></p><p>Peacemakers. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A9&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Matthew 5:9</strong></a></p><p>Christ-centered. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians%203%3A1-3&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Colossians 3:1-3</strong></a></p><p>Patient. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%205%3A7-8&#38;version=NASB"><strong>James 5:7-8</strong></a></p><p>And above all, Kind. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%204%3A32&#38;version=NASB"><strong>Ephesians 4:32</strong></a></p><p>These virtues help us walk through disagreements with humility, maturity, and hope.</p><p><strong>Next Steps</strong></p><p>If this reflection speaks to you, consider taking a few next steps.</p><p>Spend time reading how Christians throughout history handled conflict and restoration.</p><p>Reflect on the questions above and journal through them one at a time.</p><p>Pray specifically for the Spirit to grow kindness in you.</p><p>Take one small action toward someone you disagree with. Not to solve everything, but simply to open a door.</p><p>Growth often begins with small, steady choices.</p><p><strong>Linked here</strong> is a book I found very useful in my moments of weakness that has in some way, shaped this very reflection. I would strongly encourage that you give it a read if you have not yet come across it: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1802541403?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title"><strong>The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations (Christian book on disagreement, arguments, conflict resolution, disunity.)</strong></a></p><p>If this reflection encouraged you and you would like to support the work, you can do so through my <strong>Buy Me a Coffee link</strong>. </p><p>Your kindness means more than you know, and I am grateful for you.</p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Journey With Jesus at <a href="https://singhjonathan78.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_4">singhjonathan78.substack.com/subscribe</a>