<p>When you&#39;re at your child&#39;s birthday party, your wedding day, or on a much-anticipated vacation, do you find yourself feeling anxious instead of joyful—and then getting frustrated with yourself for &quot;not feeling the right way&quot;? In this episode, Drew and Josh explore one of the most common traps in anxiety recovery: judging yourself for having the &quot;wrong&quot; emotions.</p><p><br></p><p>You&#39;ll hear about how people struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and other anxiety challenges often add a second layer of suffering by criticizing themselves for not feeling grateful, happy, or calm in moments when they think they &quot;should&quot; be. Josh and Drew discuss how this pattern shows up during holidays, special events, and everyday situations, and why trying to control or optimize your emotions typically backfires.</p><p><br></p><p>The conversation covers:</p><p><br></p><ul><li>Why &quot;all feelings are welcome&quot; is more than just a nice phrase—it&#39;s a practical recovery principle</li><li>How fighting against the emotions you&#39;re experiencing makes it less likely you&#39;ll move through them naturally</li><li>The difference between desensitized and sensitized responses to anxiety</li><li>Why your brain is a prediction engine, not a reaction machine, and what that says about emotions</li><li>How willful tolerance applies even before anxiety shows up</li><li>Why comparing yourself to others around you (&quot;they&#39;re all relaxed and I&#39;m not&quot;) keeps you stuck</li></ul><p><br></p><p>You&#39;ll also hear inspiring &quot;Did It Anyway&quot; stories from listeners who pushed forward despite uncomfortable feelings, including someone who hadn&#39;t left their house in days but went to a holiday event anyway, and a new mother who faced her lifelong fear during an emergency C-section.</p><p><br></p><p>This episode may be particularly helpful if you&#39;re heading into holiday gatherings, family events, or any situation where you&#39;re putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. The guys remind us that recovery isn&#39;t measured by the absence of symptoms—it&#39;s measured by your willingness to be with them.</p><p><br></p><p>---</p><p>The <a href="https://disordered.fm/bluebook">Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety</a> is now available. If you&#39;re struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.</p><p>---</p><p>Want a way to ask questions about this episode or interact with other Disordered listeners?  The Disordered app is nearing release! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠<a href="https://www.disordered.fm/">Visit our home page and get on our mailing list for more information.</a>.</p><p>---</p><p>Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can&#39;t stop or control? <a href="https://learn.theanxioustruth.com/worry-and-rumination-explained">Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained</a>⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.</p><p>-----</p><p>Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? <a href="https://disordered.fm/">Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.</a></p>

Disordered: Anxiety Help

Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata

Anxiety and Not Feeling The "Right" Emotions (Episode 138)

DEC 26, 202538 MIN
Disordered: Anxiety Help

Anxiety and Not Feeling The "Right" Emotions (Episode 138)

DEC 26, 202538 MIN

Description

<p>When you&#39;re at your child&#39;s birthday party, your wedding day, or on a much-anticipated vacation, do you find yourself feeling anxious instead of joyful—and then getting frustrated with yourself for &quot;not feeling the right way&quot;? In this episode, Drew and Josh explore one of the most common traps in anxiety recovery: judging yourself for having the &quot;wrong&quot; emotions.</p><p><br></p><p>You&#39;ll hear about how people struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and other anxiety challenges often add a second layer of suffering by criticizing themselves for not feeling grateful, happy, or calm in moments when they think they &quot;should&quot; be. Josh and Drew discuss how this pattern shows up during holidays, special events, and everyday situations, and why trying to control or optimize your emotions typically backfires.</p><p><br></p><p>The conversation covers:</p><p><br></p><ul><li>Why &quot;all feelings are welcome&quot; is more than just a nice phrase—it&#39;s a practical recovery principle</li><li>How fighting against the emotions you&#39;re experiencing makes it less likely you&#39;ll move through them naturally</li><li>The difference between desensitized and sensitized responses to anxiety</li><li>Why your brain is a prediction engine, not a reaction machine, and what that says about emotions</li><li>How willful tolerance applies even before anxiety shows up</li><li>Why comparing yourself to others around you (&quot;they&#39;re all relaxed and I&#39;m not&quot;) keeps you stuck</li></ul><p><br></p><p>You&#39;ll also hear inspiring &quot;Did It Anyway&quot; stories from listeners who pushed forward despite uncomfortable feelings, including someone who hadn&#39;t left their house in days but went to a holiday event anyway, and a new mother who faced her lifelong fear during an emergency C-section.</p><p><br></p><p>This episode may be particularly helpful if you&#39;re heading into holiday gatherings, family events, or any situation where you&#39;re putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. The guys remind us that recovery isn&#39;t measured by the absence of symptoms—it&#39;s measured by your willingness to be with them.</p><p><br></p><p>---</p><p>The <a href="https://disordered.fm/bluebook">Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety</a> is now available. If you&#39;re struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.</p><p>---</p><p>Want a way to ask questions about this episode or interact with other Disordered listeners?  The Disordered app is nearing release! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠<a href="https://www.disordered.fm/">Visit our home page and get on our mailing list for more information.</a>.</p><p>---</p><p>Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can&#39;t stop or control? <a href="https://learn.theanxioustruth.com/worry-and-rumination-explained">Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained</a>⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.</p><p>-----</p><p>Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? <a href="https://disordered.fm/">Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.</a></p>