This is the 100th Episode of the podcast.  And for 100 episodes it has been the goal to help parents understand their children so as to create a validating environment as well as a foundation of connection for your child’s wellbeing. In this episode, Leslie and Dale focus on how to make attending to the relationship with your child a high priority especially when there are escalating emotions. What’s the goal of your interactions with your child? Today’s episode explores the three goals of interpersonal situations from Dialectic Behavior Therapy as well as the six levels of validation.Time Stamps3:38 What are the three goals of interpersonal situationsThe objective of the situation - balancing the short term vs long termAttending to your self-respectAttending to the relationship and how the person would feel after the interaction9:56 Escalating emotions is an indication that you may need to change your priority of the three goals10:10 When the relationship is the number one priority in order to create the foundation of connection for your child’s wellbeing11:53 Why is validation so important and what does it meanValidation is acknowledgment, not agreementParents need to practice “biting their tongue” so as not to invalidate your child16:20 Discussion of invalidation - Dale’s personal experience18:25 Mysophonia is a diagnosis that validates the sensory overwhelm that some children/people feel21:20 The respect you give your child will in turn often lead your child to respect you.22:58 Beware of double down on getting your objective met when misbehavior shows up.23:50 Change course means changing your priority from the objective to the relationship24:34 The Six Levels of Validation25:20 Level one: Paying attention26:41 Level two: Reflect back27:54 Level three: Reading minds30:42 Level four: Understanding32:16 Level five: Acknowledge the valid33:32 Level six: Show equality35:10 Choosing the level of validation that works is up to the individual and the situation36:56 Examples of Functional Validation 38:30 Use the phrase: “What I just said might have felt invalidating to you” when someone gets upset with something you might have said 39:10 Match your intention with the impactLeslie-ism:  I want to say to parents: it's our job to take the first step forward.Resources:Dialectic Behavior Therapy - Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout on Validation including the Six Levels of ValidationDialectic Behavior Therapy - Clarifying Priorities in Interpersonal Situations WorksheetFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by