To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤www.patreon.com/historicalhomos*THE ANCIENT ROMANS HAD A GOD OF BIG DICK ENERGY AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.GIRLS AND BOYS, MEET PRIAPUS. 🍆Remember when the internet decided Pete Davidson had a giant schlong? Well, turns out people have been fantasizing about hung humans since the Ancient Romans.Everyone always complains that the marble statues of antiquity seem to have surprisingly small penises – was everyone micro back then? What did the size queens do?But the truth is – the ancient world was full of dicks, big and small. There were dicks on houses, at intersections, in art, and of course, in milady's bedside table.AND – dicks were actually sacred to the ancients!From the phallic Herms that warded off evil to Priapus' fertility-granting member, Big Dick Energy was everywhere. Because dicks were a symbol of agricultural power, magical protection, and prosperity.2,000 years ago, Cock was King.But it wasn’t all rainbows and dildos. In Greece, big dicks were a joke, a sign of an oversexed – and therefore unrestrained – man. Meanwhile, the Romans took things in a more violent direction (surprise). Which is why they turned the Hung Horny Goat Weed, Priapus, son of Dionysus and Aphrodite, into a toxic masculinity fantasy of sexual violence.This fantasy of priapic domination was unique to the Romans in the ancient world – the Greeks preferred to model self-restraint and wisdom, which of course is the unique jurisdiction of the average-size penis. But really…let’s be honest.If a 10-foot marble Hercules walked in with his tiny little “11th toe”?You’d be so fucking down.🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Giant garden gnome dildo sold separately.📱 Follow @historical.homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and sign up to our newsletter at www.historicalhomos.com if you care about gay people, like, at all.⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ reviews are welcome, encouraged, and financially rewarded. (Kidding.) (Maybe.)Episode CreditsWritten and hosted by Bash.Edited by Alex Toskas.Produced by Dani Henion. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★