Text Me Back! With Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays

We really should have thrown out our BBW jingle, because today Lindy came locked and loaded with not one but TWO epic business ideas. Please direct all Middle-Aged Flower Girl booking inquiries to [email protected] thank you, and if you care to invest in Mary Janes For Men call our reps at (703) 829-0003! And one of our most bizarre new segments yet: Straight Pride Month??! Since most of you have messed up brains like ours (as verified by the fact that you are listening to this episode and/or reading these shownotes), we respectfully offer a content warning RE suicide attempts. We’re not making it that deep, but if you want to, feel free to skip 34:21 through 52:49.  It involves TI (the rapper) coming to the rescue of **multiple people** ??????? Jokes aside, you don’t need TI if you’re struggling—maybe try calling or texting the lifeline at 988 or getting help via 988lifeline.org. SUPPORT RAIMUNDO  As anyone who has met him can attest, Rai is a supernova of love and joy who would do anything for his community, and Rai's community is the whole world. It's time to reflect that love back to him. We encourage our Textmebackolytes to donate $1, $5, $12, whatever you can. Thank you to our lovely Patrons who have empowered the podcast to support our friend. https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-raimundo-stephanie-during-cancer-treatment Plus, stick around for a touching tribute to Meagan’s dearest 18 year old cat Eleanor.  Eleanor, you’ve been a real one. Hope you’re knock knock knocking over glasses of ice water on heaven’s end tables. Stay tuned next week for a new segment Meagan’s calling…The Foundation of Society!  NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! What in the world is a cheese straw If you can't drink through it, I'm gonna be mad. SAMITME THE SCIENCE IS STILL OUT ON THAT–WE WILL NEVER STOP UNTIL WE GET ANSWERS THO STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Miss Shelby Ann really is that girlOrder Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! TEXT ME BACK is a comedy podcast where Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays spiral about politics, pop culture, dogs, space, friendship, anxiety, Lord of the Rings, and whatever cursed topic is haunting them that week. Along the way, they’ve welcomed brilliant and hilarious guests including Lizz Winstead (The Daily Show), Kelsey McKinney (Normal Gossip), Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life), Guy Branum (Hacks), collaborators, comedians, political experts, writers, and internet icons for deeply unserious conversations. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Weeooweeoo breaking news! The gals are looking…gorgeous this week?? And in a segment we’re calling 💋Makeup News 💋 they’re gonna tell you all about it. We cannot emphasize it enough folks, you gottttta check out the YouTube for a full faceful of milky toner. In the process, we trust. Plus, it’s time for another SNAKE OF THE WEEK! We have three candidates to present for your consideration, and we invite you to let us know 1) what is/is not a snake 2) which of our snakes deserves the crown for SOTW. Write in at [email protected]  Stay tuned through the end for an important Whatcha Watching’ AND Whatcha Munchin’. And Shannon, we ask again—IS THE WHOLE FAMILY FUNKY OR NAH? Psssst. Did you catch all THREE of Meagan’s puns this week? Don’t say anything about it or we fear she’ll never speak again. NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! I love this podcast so much Meagan and Lindy feel like my best friends (for better or worse) MOLLYYYY B SO SORRY TO REPORT THAT THIS IS TRUE, BESTIE! SORRY BOUT IT :/ STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Miss Shelby Ann really is that girlErin Parsons https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CQXmgV3LL/?mibextid=wwXIfrFave products — Thayer’s milky toner, Huda Beauty under eye correctorLUST Lip Glass, POSH pit (is this a real website? who can say??), Velvet Teddy (it’s on sale!), Nars Lip Pencil in CRUELLA, Fenty Hot ChocolitIdiot Adventurer Foiled by Snake (GOOD) Man Abandons Exotic Snakes on Hollywood Boulevard (maybe the snakes can be mayor of LA?)Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! TEXT ME BACK is a comedy podcast where Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays spiral about politics, pop culture, dogs, space, friendship, anxiety, Lord of the Rings, and whatever cursed topic is haunting them that week. Along the way, they’ve welcomed brilliant and hilarious guests including Lizz Winstead (The Daily Show), Kelsey McKinney (Normal Gossip), Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life), Guy Branum (Hacks), collaborators, comedians, political experts, writers, and internet icons for deeply unserious conversations. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we step into an important new next phase of 🎀Meagan’s Journey 🎀!  Oh, you thought it was over after her pilgrimage to Puerto Rico?? Tell me this: Has Meagan smooched any of her Latin Pop SuperEstrellas? Then it’s not over, chica!!! In this new evolution of the journey (🎀🎀Meagan’s Journey: Parte Dos 🎀🎀) you are invited—tell us what Ricky Martin OR Bad Bunny song is rocking your whole cabeza off to space. Tell us all about it in the discord over at patreon.com/textmebackpod. Also—truly let us know what you’d like to see us use the Patreon money for or else we WILL be going to Kazakhstan! Current ideas in the works: Recording more in person. Live reporting from The Wisconsin Dells…Equipment? And stay tuned to the end because NEW SEGMENT just dropped and we need a name and probably a theme song. If you think of a more elegant way to say what we’re trying to say, write in at [email protected].  #wrongpipe (?) Plus did you know that all of our episodes are living full rich lives on Youtube? If that’s your thing, go check us out over at www.youtube.com/@textmebackpod NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Listen to the origin of Meagan’s Whitney Houston stan hubby in Lindy and Meagan are Moockus Grackus  Hear us discuss important new vocab word Schlittenfahrt Lindy and Meagan Have a Complicated Relationship with SocksMeet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! Accolades! Hello, Snake of the Week is my favorite special segment. Also that one time there was a snake quiz on the best snake news. Everything is horrible except this show. _ALLISON_ YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW NOT-HORRIBLE THINGS IN THIS WORLD AND WE ARE OBSSSSSSESSSSSED WITH YOU  🐍🐍🐍 STUFF TO CHECK OUT:MEET ROORoo's Part 2: Back in the HabitOrder Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! TEXT ME BACK is a comedy podcast where Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays spiral about politics, pop culture, dogs, space, friendship, anxiety, Lord of the Rings, and whatever cursed topic is haunting them that week. Along the way, they’ve welcomed brilliant and hilarious guests including Lizz Winstead (The Daily Show), Kelsey McKinney (Normal Gossip), Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life), Guy Branum (Hacks), collaborators, comedians, political experts, writers, and internet icons for deeply unserious conversations. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Uh oh! Voting rights have been dismantled and now Meagan is vying for crusty stinker of the week! But it’s okay and everything is fine because she has made an important discovery, and it’s something called…“The Marvel Cinematic Universe.” 🚨 Spoiler Alert!!! 🚨 If you have not seen The Avengers (2012) through Avengers: Endgame (2019) and still plan to one day see a move that’s already 7-14 years old, consider yourself warned!!! We’ll even be extra nice and tell you to skip between 15:56 and 17:26 if you don’t want Avengers: Endgame (2019) to be ruined for you. Tell us what character within the Marvel Universe is helping you dissociate! Sounds like something we could get into in the Discord? Join the convo via patreon.com/textmebackpod??? Also, special shoutout to SHANNON and famous kingleheimer husband Stephen for the incredible contribution to our Whatcha Watchin’ vertical. And next, Lindy was in Phoenix! And boy did she miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Do YOU have any idea what we should be asking about Arizona? Write in at [email protected]! We gotta know what we gotta know!! And lastly, Meagan gets an email, raising one important question: Darrick…u okay, bud??  NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Listen to Big Ron betray Lindy in Lindy and Meagan and Big Ron Have a SecretMeet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! This podcast makes me happy Apparently, as a longtime listener, I owe you an accolade, so consider yourself accoladed! I love the podcast so much I named my cat Barry. PAMSTER206 THANK YOU FOR THIS ACCOLADE SWEETIE WE WILL MARK THIS DOWN AS COMPLETE FOR YOU! A+++ FOR YOU AND BARRY! SEND US A PIC OF BARRY!!!!! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, we tide! Sadly, the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico kindly asked Meagan (la Reina Lazy) to put away her ass and return to the Continental United States immediamente, so she is back to report on if she a) kissed Benito or b) kissed Ricky Martin orrrrr secret option c) kissed Billy the Magician. AND we are reaching a muy satisfying conclusion to our lazy river saga, wherein Meagan finds the laziest rio in alllll of Puerto Rico. Sorry in advance to the polo-presenting Americans in our community – your experience is valid! And back at the ranch, Lindy tells us all about tiny town USA and her Braum’s redemption tour. No more asking the teens behind the counter to defrost the chicken pimiento –  we think you’re gonna like what she ordered.  NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! The Only Podcast ? Text Me Back is, as far as I know, the only podcast. It gets five stars only because I cannot give more. It is excellent and no other podcasts would compare if they did exist. Lindy and Meagan are maybe the funniest people I know. I don't know them but if I did I would probably laugh a lot at their jokes. Their show segments are innovative and beyond compare. AUDIBLE IS STRANGE AND AWFUL WE’RE DESPERATE FOR THE TEA ON AUDIBLE AND WE ADORE THAT WE PASS YOUR HIGH STANDARDS!!!!! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.