Text Me Back! With Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays

Rerun? What’s that?  Don’t be mad at us! We’re taking a little seasonal break BUT WE STILL HAVE SOME GREAT STUFF RUNNING ON THE FEED TO KEEP YOU FED. Today, we are revisiting our iconic Pledge Drive 2025 ep featuring Emmy award winning writer Guy Branum. Guy shares his recent experience being fat on an airplane (not a crime) wherein he was assaulted (crime). Just a little reminder to – as Meagan says – pack your patience this traveling season. Download a few of our early episodes to keep you cozy on that plane, cue up Devil Wears Prada for a little break from us that you will inevitably need, and enjoy your complimentary (or if you’re on Spirit, obnoxiously priced) little beverages, and don’t forget to text us your every thought over this season at (703) 829-0003.  BTW because it’s mentioned throughout this ep, our BBLS for BBWS tote is totally available! A perfect holiday gift for your favorite BBWs out there??? We think so! Also how cute is this little tray??? This is one of those things you buy for someone else and then just keep. You deserve it, mama. We miss you already. TTYL MUAH. NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Check out our other ep with Guy: Lindy and Meagan Demand Hollywood Secrets from Guy Branum (Live!)Check out ALL of our Pledge Drive 2025 lives on Youtube! https://tinyurl.com/BBLs-for-BBWs-PLAYLISTMeet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:“A delightfully hilarious podcast that doesn't try to explain what it is, other than two friends talking about some current events and recurring whimsies that have their own introduction jingles. If you have time, go back and listen to several episodes of the first season to understand a bit of their lore, I wouldn't suggest it if you wouldn't be in for a hilarious treat. The world feels hard some days and I look forward to episodes because they laugh so much.” EXLIBRISLARKIN YOU ARE NOW A PART OF OUR LORE BABY!! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Guy Branum on IGCheck out ALL of our Pledge Drive 2025 lives on Youtube! Enjoy German caroling in Indiana!Nars Power Matte High-Intensity Long-Lasting lip pencil in CruellaMany wonderful options for items from Rare Beauty Not too late to buy yourself a BBLS for BBWS tote! A perfect holiday gift for your favorite BBWs out there!Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesCheck out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSONSubscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today we bring you the gift of all gifts. Hop onto your lean and lank little horsie because we are officially kicking off the holidays with the full-length German carol SCHLITTENFAHRT. You are preemptively WELCOME. No thank you notes required, simply head on over to Patreon.com/textmebackpod to tell us how much you love it and how much you adore us. And if you are as obsessed with our legendary Jingleheimer Robert as we are AND you live near Carmel, Indiana, giddy up that jinglehorse and go see VOCE! After you get Schlitten-faced with that dose of holiday vibes, you’ll be prepared for the rest of the episode, because we are schlitten and fahrtin’ alllll the way under our fluffy duvets – fresh socks on – for the most cuddled up, snuggled down episode of the year. That’s right…IT’S OUR COZY EPISODE 2025. Is it more hostile than we intended? Perhaps. But ain’t that just 2025? And if we’re being honest, is there anything more cozy than complaining with your besties? After we vent a bit about outsourcing the fun and good things about life to AI, we shift into full snuggly gear to talk about our cozy programming, cozy controversies (blanket edition), and an important addition to our favorite cozy seasonal beverages. A certain beveragino heir/heiress holds the future of Lindy and Meagan’s whole ass marriages in the palm of her sweet juicy hands. We are deeply and insatiably curious to know what sorts of cozy metaphorical twigs, hairs, and fur you are using to line your cozy winter den. Write in at [email protected] or text us from under your pile of goose down and/or sweaty acrylic blankies on the BFF Party Phone at (703) 829-0003.  Plus bonus mystery segment we’re calling: Does Lindy Have Covid? Tune in to find out how it shakes out. NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Listen to our magical new and improved re-air of the Original Cozy episode!!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:More unhinged than Eric from the sewers (complimentary) They're saying this is the best and only podcast, and they are correct. These Times have me more consistently upsot than a kayak dad, but Meagan and Lindy help me forget my/our troubles for at least an hour each week. Smart, hilarious, educational, with the best theme song, interstitial music and jingles in the biz, this podcast is for anyone who enjoys lazy rivers or shrews or the legendary oeuvre of Luther Vandross. Never change, my angels! AMYSPRICE NICE USE OF THE WORD OEUVRE!!!! WE OEUVRE YOU BACK! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Come see us LIVE! on Livewire at Benaroya Hall this Friday, December 5!Enjoy German caroling in Indiana!Buy a Nespresso??? Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesCheck out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSONSubscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are swaddling you back into one of favorite and coziest episodes of all time, the ORIGINAL Cozy Episode (2023). And if you can believe it, little has changed. We are still subbing out our antidepressants for gallons of Pennsylvania Dutch, and we are still into electric blankies. But we hate to leave you with a dope beat to step to, so TUNE IN FOR NEW LORE. Lindy has an untrademarked holiday that you can take for your own and baby you’ll NEVER guess what they call it. Next week we’ll be back with a real update on what’s making us feel cozy, dozy, and warm. In the meantime, we’d love to hear from you on important matters such as:What is making YOU feel cozy?What decades long series are you dissociating into?What are your thoughts on specifically Pennsylvania Dutch? Write in at [email protected] or call/text us at (703) 829-0003. TALK MORE NEXT WEEK LOVE U MUAH! NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:A Text Me Back Husband Listener “I am the primary listener in this relationship–TMB isn't just for the ladies!” ANTI-KAYAK DAD YOU ARE TECHNICALLY OUR HUSBAND NOW!!!! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesCheck out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSONSubscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What a smörgåsbord of delights in this episode. We introduce MULTIPLE new segments:Lindy’s Dream 💭💤Meagan Doesn’t Have Any Situational Awareness Lindy’s Stupidest Hyperfixation Yet! As well as returning to a few fan favorites:Dog Thoughts x I Can Fix Her (🎀 Floorbed Edition 🎀)Whatcha Watchin’ And don’t forget to grab your go-bags, because we’re talking disaster preparedness!!! What do you do when the power goes out? How did you shelter in place as a kid in your weird part of the world? We’re shivering under our desks in the dark over here at Text Me Back Podcast. When the power comes back on, call or text us via the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. And regarding Dog Thoughts 🎀 Floorbed Edition 🎀 please assure Meagan that she is not alone on the floor. How do you ruin your life trying to please your demon pet from hell? We beg you to sound off in the Discord. Remember, by becoming a Patron you support NOT ONLY this podcast, but Kevin’s floorbed needs and Lindy’s hyperfixations.  And if you’re reading this far, I guess we can spoil our Whatcha Watchin’??? We gotta do it for the SEO folks…It’s NOT Great British Bake Off, it’s NOT The Beast In Me, Stranger Things, OR WWE wrestling (okay search engine is fully OPTIMIZED thank u). Listeners…we’re watchin’ The Great Pottery Throwdown and we need to know what you think. Is Keith Brymer Jones faking those tears? What cozy-ass (preferably British) TV shows are you watching this season? Email us at [email protected]. And lest ye forget…Pre-Order Adult Braces!!! Book Agent Gary? Lindy needs water ASAP TYYYY NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:Text me back is my absolute favorite podcast of all times! “Every episode feels like hanging out with my best friends and I look forward to it each Thursday. Lindy and Meagan are hilarious (individually and together) and listening to them feels like being in community without having to rehash the details of the disturbing daily trash fire that this world has become. I regularly walk around with a stupid wide grin on my face in public while cracking up about new TMB lore. Be careful when listening to this podcast while lifting weights, as I once almost dropped a pair of heavy dumbbells on my head because I had to laugh so hard. If you too need distraction and relief from the heaviness of political events, I can't recommend this podcast enough! I suggest starting with the early episodes so you don't miss out on important context clues.” CRAZYCATTHEYDY BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE WEIGHTS, YOU ICON!  WE NEED YOU TO LIVE FOREVER SO YOU CAN KEEP PUMPING US UP! STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesCheck out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Check out the Text Me Back Venmo!!!Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSONSubscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to our BICENTENNIAL (??) EPISODE! In this famous Text Me Back episode you will experience the feeling of aging two years in just 75 minutes!  We start off strong with a We Done Done It Again (Dept. of Corrections) where we humbly correct the record to share that Jeff Merkley (of Senatorial fame) stood BY HIS OWN POWER NONSTOP for 22 hours. We got it twisted, and we generally advise against that! And since Text Me Back is your go-to political podcast, Lindy quizzes herself LIVE! How many US Senators can YOU name? Sporcle, SPONSOR US we are driving dozens of people to your hyperspecific quizzes!!!! (Clue: Jerry Seinfeld and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are NOT currently US Senators).  Since it’s our two-year anniversary, we bring you a Normal News/Meagan’s TikTok digest, AND Lindy’s surprise Microsegment (btw if you are CEO of Ruffles…what did you do to that chip and WHY?). Plus, Lindy coins a new tag for the show, begging the question: What’s YOUR favorite bit and/or shit from Text Me Back Podcast? Write in at [email protected] or give us a call at (703) 829-0003. And finally, in a rare moment of sincerity, we conclude by setting aside our Tom and Jerry dynamic momentarily and getting earnest. BFFs being nice to each other?? Is that even legal???? BIG THANK YOU to all of our Patrons and supporters who have allowed us to remain a sovereign podcast. We love our people on the discord, we love our Jingleheimers and Kingleheimers, and everyone who has helped us start and maintain this show. If you believe in independent media and women being absolutely sick in the head for your entertainment, consider becoming a Patron or subscribing to our free newsletter, Newsletter Me Back. NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Lindy and Meagan Become the Joe Rogan of the Left with Jeff MerkleyLindy and Meagan are Breast Friends with Kelsey McKinneyRevisit the first appearance of Dr. Freek Vonk and Freekaconda in Lindy and Meagan have Died of DysenteryMeet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode! WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:“The best - My favorite podcast, I love these two!” GIR|57495739 WE 2 LOVE U  STUFF TO CHECK OUT:How many U.S. Senators can you name?? Pre-Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesCheck out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check u s out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Check out the Text Me Back Venmo!!!Check out Meagan’s latest installment of SWAMP PERSONSubscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people. ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003. We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod! You can email us at [email protected]! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice. Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols. You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡° See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.