Meagan is 44 years old! If you’re reading this, you should have called in yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. She mighta been busy bc she is treating herself to a cardiac event or two at a sports game. Is it POTS …or (S)PO(R)TS?? Plus, we lament the rise and fall of blond-haired white boys. Spoiler Alerts for Alias (2001-2006) and Lost (2004-2010). But taking center stage is Judge Meags Lane! We are reviewing three issues for the day:Issue #1: Is Lindy guilty of being a big ol’ b-word?-On the bench: Judge Meags Lane-Defendant: Lindy West, representing herself-Prosecution: Lindy WestThe Facts:Lindy has to interpret a TSA line in an airport. A lady in front of her forgets she has a belt on and gets booted from the line. Lindy advances within the line. A lady tries to cut in front of Lindy. Lindy has forgotten that this lady is the belt lady and says no cut-sies. Issue #2: Should we sentence Patrick Ta to 12 years of hard labor?-On the bench: Judge Meags Lane. -Defendant: Patrick Ta, represented by Meagan Hatcher-Mays-Prosecution: Meagan Hatcher-MaysThe Facts:??????Issue #3: Is Robert a lying liar?-Overseeing the case: The Textmebackoytes-Defendant: Jingleheimer Robert, representing himself-Prosecution: Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-MaysThe Facts:Robert is charged with heresy in the first degree in suggesting that other podcasts exist. Robert admits on tape that he has listened to and written music for this supposed “other” podcast. Tune in to hear the verdicts and sentencing! And if you are in the petit jury of Textmebackolytes on Robert’s case, please call in ASAP or we will send out a subpoena on your ass (703) 829-0003.NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About KevinLearn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWsDiscover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple PodcastsGive us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! The Reason Podcasts Were InventedI have been listening to Text Me Back! since the very first episode and it has only gotten better and more hysterical as it goes along. It is a hilarious beacon of light in these dark times. Thank you Lindy and Meagan for sharing your thoughts with us. Mwah!ORYX_AND_CAKE THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF OUR BEST AND MOST LOYAL FRIENDS IN THESE DARK TIMES–ROBERT TAKE NOTE!!!!STUFF TO CHECK OUT:Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult BracesNEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)Check out SWAMP PERSON Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPodAlso! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!You can email us at [email protected]!WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice.Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!TEXT ME BACK is a comedy podcast where Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays spiral about politics, pop culture, dogs, space, friendship, anxiety, Lord of the Rings, and whatever cursed topic is haunting them that week. Along the way, they’ve welcomed brilliant and hilarious guests including Lizz Winstead (The Daily Show), Kelsey McKinney (Normal Gossip), Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life), Guy Branum (Hacks), collaborators, comedians, political experts, writers, and internet icons for deeply unserious conversations.⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.