Beer Me That Movie

The robots mapped his brain. They predicted his future. But they forgot one crucial piece of the puzzle: You can’t knock down a man with nothing to lose and a pocket full of room-temperature deli meat.This week on Beer Me That Movie, Jonathan and Harrison are diving headfirst into the wildest, most chaotic Bastille Day premiere of the century: TRUE LOVE.It starts as a high-stakes sci-fi thriller about a surveillance state run by algorithmic "Beta-Orbs" and dystopian "Chrome Dommes"—but it quickly devolves into a 1960s underground hedonistic rebellion, a biological EMP triggered exclusively by the vocal frequencies of Chumbawamba’s 1997 classic Tubthumping, and an epilogue twist involving Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5 that is frankly too gross and unimaginable for a family-friendly description box.Grab a cold lager (or a whiskey drink, a vodka drink, a cider drink...), throw some butter on a thick slab of ham, and sync up with us as we break down Act 1 through Act 3 of this unforgettable cinematic ride. Will Nathan save the surface world, or will he just rule a throne of server racks with the Glitch-Witch? Find out inside!JOIN THE VAULT:Want to choose what we watch, review, and drink next? Head over to The Vault database on our website to submit your favorite films and vote on upcoming episodes! www.beermethatmovie.com00:00:00 - Intro00:03:13 - BMTM Updates00:05:26 - Act 1: The 404-ever00:29:17 - Act 2: The Cave vs. The Cloud00:57:23 - Act 3: The Robot Elbow Apocalypse01:10:03 - Epilogue: The Bitter Aftertaste

Before we jump into the Untappd trenches, we take a look back at last week's feature film, It's a Whole Thing. We officially tore the lid off the wellness industry and exposed the dark underbelly of the "Big Bean" legume industrial complex. We also threw in a fun epilogue dusting off Victor Lancaster, revealing whether or not he actually got exploded by the Noble Stomach.After a quick detour fueled by the pure childhood nostalgia of blowing into dusty 8-bit Nintendo cartridges just to get Double Dragon to work, we fire up the Untappd feed to bring you this week's Fast Five lineup:The Pursuit (Breakside & Alma Madera Brewing): Set in a crime-ridden future, a guy with a meaningless job finds a flashy, Elton John-style sequined suit hidden in a pizza delivery bag. Instead of using its super speed and strength to fight crime, he uses it to dominate the gig economy and starts a tech company called "ChatBHB"Free Lunch (BlackStack Brewing): A Quentin Tarantino-style action flick where four kids at a local diner steal a half-eaten fried chicken sandwich. Unfortunately for them, it belonged to the unkillable mob boss "El Duderino," who will stop at nothing to hunt them downUltrafine (Burial Beer Co.): An eerie thriller where an Avon-style Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) company sells a miraculous beauty cream. The terrifying twist? The cream carries a deadly curse, and the only way to free yourself is to recruit your friends and family into your downline. It's not capitalism—it's curse distributionCottage (Tall Oaks Farm and Brewery): A couple heads out for a romantic weekend to a serene, White Lotus-style bed and breakfast in the woods. As the sweet caretaker brings them fresh cakes and sherry, they notice the paintings on the walls look exactly like past guests. The horrifying truth? The cottage itself is an ancient, shape-shifting monster luring people in to eat them and pay off its credit card debtsTrue Love (Martin House Brewing): Set in a dystopian future where robots and AI companies arrange all marriages on your 18th birthday. No more Tinder, no more hoping—just your government-assigned soulmateAs always, only four survive. Head over to our Instagram right now and vote for your favorite pitch in the poll! Do you want a Tarantino sandwich chase? A cursed beauty MLM? The choice is yours.Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Vote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie Find us on Untappd: Beer Me That MovieUntil next week... Peace, Punch, and Gimme Your Free Lunch!00:00 - Intro01:40 - Recap: It’s A Whole Thing12:36 - BOTW: Something Cold19:46 - Beer #1: The Pursuit28:00 - Beer #2: Free Lunch33:59 - Beer #3: UltraFine40:16 - Beer #4: Cottage47:08 - Beer #5: True Love56:12 - Decision Time!

In an alternate 2026 where marriage is outlawed, meat is banned, and society relies entirely on canned beans for protein, what happens when you discover that the internet's biggest wellness trend is actually a toxic global conspiracy?Meet Kat, a lonely government software engineer who spends her days curating her backyard carrot sanctuary and religiously following the minimalist, dirt-eating lifestyle of mega-influencer Hope "Wholeness" Higgins. But when Hope mysteriously vanishes after posting a forbidden video declaring she's found a "soulmate," Kat hacks into the mainframe to track her down. She discovers Hope is being held captive by The Council of Nibbage (an anagram for Big Bean), a shadowy legume lobby led by a power-suit-wearing Marisa Tomei.Big Bean has been lacing influencer-promoted soil and water with lead and sedatives to keep the population isolated, tired, and completely dependent on their canned slop. It’s a high-stakes, hilarious thriller where Kat and Hope must team up to reverse the poisoned water supply, take down Big Bean's corporate summit, and prove that true "wholeness" isn't about gardening alone in a yurt—it's about community.This Week’s Feature:Beer: It's a Whole ThingBrewery: Original Pattern Brewing🎧 Connect With Us:Website: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovieLeave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHead over to the website to vote on your favorite past Fast Five ideas in The Vault!00:00:00 - Intro00:03:13 - Act 1: The Carrot Queen00:30:10 - Act 2: The Garden of Deception00:46:37 - Act 3: Putting the Pieces Together01:02:51 - Epilogue

Welcome to Fast Five #40! It takes 40 weeks for a human fetus to fully develop, yet here we are, 78 total episodes into Beer Me That Movie, still operating at the mental level of a damp sponge. But as Jon's youth pastor used to say, "it’s better to be damp than dry!"Before we dive into the Untappd trenches, we take a trip back in time to recap last week's feature film, Freelance. We successfully invented a brand new movie genre—the "Rom-Com-Shun" (Rom-Com Action)—and basically turned the episode into a Marisa Tomei tribute cast. We navigated the difficult dating life of an assassin, got stuck in a washing machine in high heels, and drank mezcal out of a wine glass.We fuel up with our Beer of the Week: the legendary Tropicália from Creature Comforts Brewing Co. This 6.6% balanced, soft, and juicy IPA washes over the palate with passion fruit and citrus. It's an absolute classic—so good that even Thor drinks it in the Marvel movies!-Chant (Burial Beer Co): High school cheerleaders find an ancient spell book in the woods and incorporate the cursed chants into their Friday night routines. Soon, the whole town is mind-controlled, and the only hope to save them are the school's deaf kids and Victor, a Brazilian exchange student who doesn't understand English.-It's a Whole Thing (Original Pattern Brewing): A massive conspiracy thriller where a wellness influencer tries to expose the dark, controlling lobby of "Big Bean." When she mysteriously disappears, her biggest fan has to put the pieces together to make the story "whole."-Ramdom (Chroma): A terrifying sci-fi where the "perfect" arcade game sucks your consciousness into an AI Narnia and replaces you in the real world with an optimized AI clone. The only way to escape the game? Defeating the final boss—a German dominatrix.-How Far to Mars? (Flying Machine Brewing Company): The first-ever space road trip movie! A miserable dad packs his family into a space-Winnebago for an excruciatingly long trip to "Seven Flags" on Mars, secretly wishing he could just take his helmet off and end it all.-Revive (Batch Brewing Company): A tech startup offers a $50,000/month "AI service" to talk to your dead loved ones. The terrifying twist? It's actually necromancy, and the "AI" is pulling demonic souls straight from Hell to convince you to do their evil bidding.As always, only four survive. We officially sent one of these floating into the Vault to wait for another day, leaving the remaining four pitches up to you. Head over to our Instagram right now and vote for your favorite in the poll!👇 Help us keep the lights on in the shed! Leave us a voice message: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Vote in The Vault: beermethatmovie.com Follow us on Instagram: @beermethatmovie Find us on Untappd: @BeerMeThatMovieUntil next week... Peace, Punch, and give me your whole thing!00:00 - Intro02:43 - Recap: Freelance11:47 - BOTW: Tropicalia15:10 - Thanks to our sponsor… you!17:12 - Beer #1: Chant24:37 - Beer #2 It’s a Whole Thing32:52 - Beer #3 Ramdom39:17 - Beer #4 How Far to Mars45:39 - Beer #5 Revive

Logline: A failing hitman on a metric-boosting "Pro-Bono" contract falls for his target and must use his bumbling skills to fight off an AI-driven "Optimizer" assassin before the IRS—or a ninja—kills his vibe. Imagine your "Uber-for-Assassins" rating is so low you’re essentially the digital equivalent of a lukewarm ham sandwich. To save your SEO (and your life), you have to take a "Pro-Bono" hit on a target who turns out to be an ageless, Mezcal-drinking Marisa Tomei. This is FREELANCE. Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie, the podcast where we take ridiculous beer names and turn them into Blockbuster movie ideas! Today we’re diving into the blood-soaked, gig-economy underbelly of contract killing. Our 41st Feature Film follows Brian, a hitman with a 1.2-star rating, a "World's Best Dad" tote bag, and a 5-star heart. A few questions we’re going to -try- and answer in this feature film are:How many "Participation Trophies" does it take to become a 1-star assassin? Can you stop a Tier-1 Russian Spetsnaz killer with a salad fork while your date complains about balsamic vinaigrette? Is "Whale Bone Cocaine" actually a self-snort lobotomy?Follow the Madness:Website: beermethatmovie.com (Visit the Vault!) Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie Instagram/TikTok: @beermethatmovie 00:00:00 - Intro00:02:37 - Act 1: 1099’s and 1-Star Reviews00:31:19 - Act 2: The Stepmom Snag00:49:17 - Act 3: A Very Secret Bodyguard01:05:07 - Epilogue