Beer Me That Movie

In this week’s Fast Five, we hitch a ride with a former Army Ranger, wake up in a medieval fever dream, and head to space to fight a rock monster that cuddles gravity like a teddy bear. Also: what is the virtue of patience? And how do you escape a fog that may or may not be alive?

Five beers. Five movie pitches. And only one will become next week’s Feature Film.

This Week’s Beers and Bonkers Pitches:

🍺 Destination Unknown – Fieldwork Brewing

A retired Army Ranger turned Bloober driver picks up a mysterious passenger. She doesn’t give a drop-off… just says: “Take me to a destination unknown.” 🚗💀

🍺 Broken Kingdom – New Trail Brewing

A man wakes up in a fantasy kingdom. The only way to break the curse? Win the hand of the princess. And also a jousting tournament. And maybe slay a dragon.

🍺 The Heaviest Matter of the Universe – Brewlihan

Humanity’s last hope is sent to retrieve a cosmic artifact… only to find it’s guarded by a massive space golem who thinks it’s a bedtime toy. 🪨🧸

🍺 Virtue of Patience – Burial Beer Co.

A man finds himself in a purgatory-like test of patience. If he passes, he might earn a spot as one of the Four Horsemen. If not? He waits forever.

🍺 Fogscape – Jersey Cyclone Brewing

A mysterious fog rolls into town, cutting everyone off. Can this small community band together to escape… or will the fog claim them one by one?

🎙️ Vote Now:

Only one idea makes it to Feature Film status, and you decide which.

Vote on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram.

• Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/

• Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie

• Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

00:00 - Intro

01:18 - Recap: Gumballhead

10:24 - BOTW: Cold Hearted IPA

13:13 - Fast Five Begins

14:06 - Beer #1 Destination Unknown

19:45 - Beer #2 Broken Kingdom

25:20 - Beer #3 The Heaviest Matter Of The Universe

32:52 - Beer #4 Virtue Of Patience

37:29 - Beer #5 Fogscape

42:57 - Decision Time!

46:18 - Outtakes

In our 37th Feature Film, we chew our way into Gumballhead—a prophetic street performer trapped in a gumball machine costume… and possibly reality itself. After one too many candy-coated warnings come true, Gumballhead becomes a viral oracle. But when a chicken conglomerate with ties to defense contracts takes interest in his chewy powers, the bubble starts to stretch.This is the rise, fall, and sticky aftermath of the man who told us to “Always wear your seatbelt.” And maybe also… “Consume the yolk.”⸻In This Episode: • The tragic backstory of a mall performer turned TikTok prophet • PoultraCo’s plan to weaponize sugar and fate • Why Gumballhead may be humanity’s only hope—or its final delusionFeaturing:Big chicken energy, darker gumballs, existential dread, industrial food-predictive tech, and a mysterious woman with a bone to pick. Gumballhead is a bubblegum sci-fi horror epic—and it will pop.About the Beer: • Brewery: 3 Floyds Brewing • Name: Gumballhead • Style: Bright American Wheat with a twist of prophecy and doomConnect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieLeave a comment with your favorite gumball prophecy. And remember—Vote for next week’s Feature Film on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram. Your pick might just shape the timeline.00:00 - Intro01:25 - Act 1: Bubblegum Prophecies16:49 - Act 2: Fowl Play26:30 - Act 3: A Bursting Point38:26 - Epilogue

In this week’s Fast Five, we’re serving up five fresh beer-inspired movie pitches, including one killer listener submission that might just become our next Feature Film. From cursed hotel service to ancient kazoo mythology, things get weird fast.

This Week’s Beer-to-Movie Madness:

•Gumballhead – A failed mall vendor discovers he can see the future through his gumball machine helmet… and TikTok loves it.

•Cold Hearted Woman – A secret witch barista builds an army of pissed-off women by pouring herself into iced cappuccinos.

•Friends With Benefits – Two guys pretend to be married for health insurance, but HR starts asking real questions.

•The Last Kazoo – A mythic origin story of Lagerstahn told in the style of Jason and the Argonauts… if Jason had beer breath.

•Ring the Bell – A boutique hotel where the staff kills you with kindness—and also kills you.

Vote on your favorite to decide next week’s Feature Film!

📲 Instagram, Spotify, YouTube comments—or send us a letter with a photo of you holding a beer. Shirt on, please.

Follow & Connect:

🌐 beermethatmovie.com

📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie

🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie

🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

00:00 - Intro

01:27 - Recap: You Vs You

09:47 - BOTW: Pivo Pils

14:03 - Beer #1: Gumballhead

21:53 - Beer #2: Cold Hearted Woman

29:22 - Beer #3: Friends With Benefits

37:29 - Beer #4: The Last Kazoo

45:54 - Beer #5: Ring The Bell

In Feature Film #36, we take a beer-fueled journey into the chaos of optimization gone too far. Meet Jim: burnout husband, master procrastinator, and reluctant user of a sketchy AI self-improvement app. What starts as calendar syncing and text replies spirals into full-blown identity theft when a synthetic version of Jim starts living his life better than he ever did.

From psychological sabotage missions to a drunken showdown at the world’s most efficient Beer Olympics, You vs You is a cautionary tale about over-automation, digital doppelgängers, and learning to embrace your inner mess.

Featuring:

• A government-grade AI with a flair for date nights and betrayal

• A sabotage montage that weaponizes doomscrolling and fidget spinners

• Kenny “The Chug” Smith, beer Olympian and monster truck philosopher

• A final battle between man and machine… in sleeveless flannel and jean shorts

🔔 Subscribe for new movie madness every Wednesday

🍺 Vote for your favorite idea in our Fast Five episodes

🧨 Tell us which line made you spit out your drink

About the Beer:

•Brewery: Ever Grain Brewing Co.

•Name: You vs You

•Style: Crisp, calculated, and probably plotting your replacement

🎙 Connect With Us:

• Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/

• Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie

• Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

📢 Hashtags:

#BeerMeThatMovie

#FeatureFilmPodcast

#ComedyPodcast

#MoviePitch

#CraftBeerMeetsCinema

#YouVsYou

#AIClone

#SelfHelpGoneWrong

#BeerOlympics

#DrunkVersusRobot

#AIReplacedMe

#DoomscrollingDisaster

#SabotageMontage

#ChugForYourLife

00:00 - Intro

01:42 - Act 1: Terms & Conditions May Apply

21:29 - Act 2: The Better Jim Wins

30:54 - Act 3: You’re Me, But Worse Now

We’re back with five fresh beers, five chaotic movie ideas, and one inevitable showdown. At the end, only four survive, and YOU decide which one becomes next week’s full-blown Feature Film.in this episode:Recap of last week’s Sexual Tyrannosaurus, our Jesse Ventura-led Predator prequel that redefined subtletyBeer of the Week: Later — one of us will have to bury the other… laterMulligan: A luxury cruise where everyone is secretly connected by something darkerNimble Giant: A has-been wrestler battles physical torment, personal demons, and eventually, the CEO of pro wrestling itselfYou vs You: An AI assistant becomes human, starts dressing like you, and gets real close to your wifeCoolship Proxima: Earth’s last hope leaves for the stars… only to find its destination turning into a black holeZlotonator: A beer-fueled origin story for Lagersthan’s first citizen — part man, part beast, all legendNo ads. No codes. No overpriced nose-hair trimmers. Just beer names, unhinged plots, and two friends going way too deep on ideas no one asked for. Head to Instagram to VOTE on your favorite concept so we can build it out next week!Follow & Connect:🌐 beermethatmovie.com📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #CruiseShipThriller #AIWifeStealer #BlackHoleVoyage #LagersthanLore #MoviePodcast #BeerPodcast #ComedyPodcast00:00 - Intro01:04 - Recap: Sexual T-rex09:41 - Beer Of The Week: Later13:04 - Fast Five Begins13:38 - Beer #1: Mulligan23:03 - Beer #2: Nimble Giant31:55 - Beer #3: You vs You38:33 - Beer #4: Coolship Proxima44:00 - Beer #5: Zlotonator50:06 - The Final 4 — Get Ready to Vote!