<p>Logline: A failing hitman on a metric-boosting &quot;Pro-Bono&quot; contract falls for his target and must use his bumbling skills to fight off an AI-driven &quot;Optimizer&quot; assassin before the IRS—or a ninja—kills his vibe. </p><p><br></p><p>Imagine your &quot;Uber-for-Assassins&quot; rating is so low you’re essentially the digital equivalent of a lukewarm ham sandwich. To save your SEO (and your life), you have to take a &quot;Pro-Bono&quot; hit on a target who turns out to be an ageless, Mezcal-drinking Marisa Tomei. This is FREELANCE. </p><p><br></p><p>Welcome back to Beer Me That Movie, the podcast where we take ridiculous beer names and turn them into Blockbuster movie ideas! </p><p><br></p><p>Today we’re diving into the blood-soaked, gig-economy underbelly of contract killing. Our 41st Feature Film follows Brian, a hitman with a 1.2-star rating, a &quot;World&#39;s Best Dad&quot; tote bag, and a 5-star heart. </p><p><br></p><p>A few questions we’re going to -try- and answer in this feature film are:</p><p>How many &quot;Participation Trophies&quot; does it take to become a 1-star assassin? </p><p>Can you stop a Tier-1 Russian Spetsnaz killer with a salad fork while your date complains about balsamic vinaigrette? </p><p>Is &quot;Whale Bone Cocaine&quot; actually a self-snort lobotomy?</p><p><br></p><p>Follow the Madness:Website: beermethatmovie.com (Visit the Vault!) </p><p>Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie </p><p>Instagram/TikTok: @beermethatmovie </p><p><br></p><p>00:00:00 - Intro</p><p>00:02:37 - Act 1: 1099’s and 1-Star Reviews</p><p>00:31:19 - Act 2: The Stepmom Snag</p><p>00:49:17 - Act 3: A Very Secret Bodyguard</p><p>01:05:07 - Epilogue</p>