Un/Do: Unplugged

Why do the same relationship patterns keep showing up, and what does it actually take to break them?Erin and Daren welcome Phillip Quinones, LMHT and Relationship Coach, to unpack how trauma, emotional regulation, and self-awareness shape the way we connect with others.Phillip shares how many people unknowingly operate from survival mode, how that affects communication and intimacy, and why real relational change starts internally, not externally.Topics Covered:🔴 Trauma responses and relational patterns🟢 Emotional regulation tools for healthier connections🟣 Why awareness must come before relationship repairCHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS00:00 Understanding Feelings and Thoughts02:58 The Journey of Healing and Self-Awareness06:12 Navigating Relationships and Communication08:56 The Power of Questions in Emotional Processing12:06 Reflections vs. Questions in Communication14:47 Tools for Shifting Unhealthy Relationship Patterns24:44 The Power of Writing Things Down28:05 Accountability in Relationships30:36 Understanding Trauma Triggers32:38 Conscious vs. Subconscious Control36:16 Navigating Change and Resistance40:00 The Role of Therapy in Relationships47:59 Preventative Care in Couples Therapy52:47 Navigating Relationship Challenges54:22 The Impact of Trauma on Relationships56:41 Emotional Safety in Partnerships58:11 Understanding Emotional Needs01:00:28 The Complexity of Long-Term Relationships01:02:03 Expectations and Emotional Fulfillment01:03:34 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence01:06:26 Rewriting Societal Rules on EmotionsCONNECT & RESOURCESGuest:Phillip Quinones — LMHT & Relationship CoachPodcast:🔗 linktr.ee/undounplugged📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/undounpluggedpod/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/undounpluggedpod/Un/Do: UnpluggedEPISODE CREDITSThis episode is brought to you by:Un/Do: UnpluggedHosts: Erin Harris & Daren NorrisProduced by: Podcast MechanicEdited by: TJ

NEW EPISODES EVERY OTHER MONDAYConnect with Un/Do and support its mission by visiting https://linktr.ee/undomindset.On social media, use #UndoUnplugged or DM us @undounpluggedpod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For more information on Daren Norris and Flying Pig Psychotherapy, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠flyingpigpsychotherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.---------------------------------------------------------------------In this transformative episode, Erin and Daren sit down with Simone Knego—a mom of six who went from chronic self-doubt to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro after asking herself one simple question: "Why am I telling myself I can't do this?"What We Uncovered:💡 The REAL Method: Respect yourself (most important person), Embrace failure (fail forward), Ask what you want (hardest question), Live without limits (stop saying "just")🔥 Control-Alt-Delete for your brain: How to reboot negative thought patterns like restarting a frozen computer😢 The word that steals your power: Stop saying "I'm just a stay-at-home mom" or "just a middle manager"—claiming who you are gives your power backConnect with Simone:Website: Simone KnegoPodcast: Her Unshakeable ConfidenceBook: The Extraordinary Unordinary You by Simone KnegoUpcoming book: Real Confidence: A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakable (February 17, 2025)Social Media: @simoneknego - Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

NEW EPISODES EVERY OTHER MONDAYConnect with Un/Do and support its mission by visiting https://linktr.ee/undomindset.On social media, use #UndoUnplugged or DM us @undounpluggedpod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For more information on Daren Norris and Flying Pig Psychotherapy, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠flyingpigpsychotherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.---------------------------------------------------------------------In this profound episode, Erin and Daren sit down with Dr. Kirsten Viola Harrison, a clinical psychologist who bridges conventional trauma treatment with soul-level healing after her brother's tragic death led her to near-death literature.What We Uncovered:🚨 The feel test: How to distinguish spiritual transformation from delusion—"I get completely calm and buoyant" vs. forced messages with ego involvement💡 Dissociative schizophrenia exists: Dr. Harrison's co-author Shana doesn't fit traditional DID or schizophrenia—she's both, and possibly a "walking spirit."🔥 The inner self-helper phenomenon: In extreme DID cases, sometimes an otherworldly part emerges that feels transcendent and brings peace to therapy sessions😢 Compassion as cognitive intervention: Why saying "Hi, nice outfit!" to someone catatonic can create reconnection—we all neuro-regulate each otherActionable Strategies:✅ For Mental Health Professionals: How to hold space for spiritual experiences without dismissing them as pathology (and without abandoning clinical assessment).✅ For People with Mystical Experiences: How to honor your transformation without fearing judgment—and finding practitioners who understand the difference.✅ For Anyone Who Knows Someone "Different": Stop teaching kids to "not say something mean," which becomes "ignore them entirely"—acknowledgment is powerful.Chapters00:00 The Human Connection: Moments of Vulnerability02:51 From Conventional to Holistic Healing: A Journey05:52 Understanding Trauma: The Intersection of Experience and Healing08:58 The Role of Spirituality in Trauma Recovery12:12 Navigating Mental Health: The Spectrum of Experiences14:58 Community and Connection: The Power of Shared Experiences17:46 Distinguishing Between Psychosis and Spiritual Awakening20:53 Generational Trauma: The Legacy We Carry25:24 Understanding Emotions in Therapy30:07 Merging Psychology and Spirituality34:54 The Role of Intention in Healing39:09 Compassion and Connection in Mental Health45:10 Educating for Empathy and Understanding48:27 Redefining Societal Norms on Mental HealthConnect with Dr. Harrison:Website: Soulwise SolutionsSocial Media: @soulwiseteam - Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

NEW EPISODES EVERY OTHER MONDAYConnect with Un/Do and support its mission by visiting https://linktr.ee/undomindset.On social media, use #UndoUnplugged or DM us @undounpluggedpod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For more information on Daren Norris and Flying Pig Psychotherapy, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠flyingpigpsychotherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.---------------------------------------------------------------------In this essential episode, Erin and Daren sit down with Laurel Roberts-Meese, a burnout specialist who helps high achievers recognize when their drive to succeed is actually a survival response.What We Uncovered:🚨 The three degrees of burnout: Mild (cynicism, aches), moderate (health impacts), severe (crisis requiring 3-12 months off)💡 Why vacations don't work: Burnout is a nervous system injury requiring intentional healing, not a two-week escape where you return more exhausted🔥 The four-layer prevention framework: Physical health (rule out medical causes), behavioral (sleep, nutrition, movement), social (deep relationships predict health outcomes), and values alignment😢 Exercise that actually helps: Strength-building for anxiety (regulates down), cardio for depression (activates up), not all movement works the sameActionable Strategies:✅ For High Achievers Who Can't Stop: How to recognize when productivity is masking trauma and worth-wound patterns.✅ For Burned Out Professionals: Why "falling behind" fears are rooted in childhood messages about earning your space and how to reframe them.✅ For Anyone Exhausted: The difference between managing symptoms and actually healing your nervous system (spoiler: it takes months, not days).Connect with Laurel:Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Laurel Therapy CollectiveSocial Media: @laureltherapycollective - Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | YouTube.

NEW EPISODES EVERY OTHER MONDAYConnect with Un/Do and support its mission by visiting https://linktr.ee/undomindset.On social media, use #UndoUnplugged or DM us @undounpluggedpod on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For more information on Daren Norris and Flying Pig Psychotherapy, visit⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠flyingpigpsychotherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.---------------------------------------------------------------------In this extraordinary episode, Erin and Daren sit down withDan MacQueen, a resilience coach who survived a brain hemorrhage in 2014, woke from a coma unable to walk, talk, or smile, and spent the next 10 years rebuilding his life one 1% improvement at a time.What We Uncovered:🚨 The decision that saved him: How avoiding the "pity spiral" from day one became his north star💡 Aim small, miss small: Why 35 minutes to get in a wheelchair (down from 45) was a massive win and how stacking tiny victories builds unstoppable momentum🔥 Neuroplasticity in action: How to literally rewire your brain, starting with 2 minutes of daily meditation😢 Radical acceptance (even when it slaps): Why acceptance isn't giving up, it's taking control by adapting to the new termsActionable Strategies:✅ For Anyone Facing Setbacks: Start with 1% better than yesterday. Don't aim for moonshot goals; ratchet up gradually through small, achievable targets.✅ For Building New Habits: Start meditation at 2 minutes daily for one week, then 4 minutes the next, scaling up slowly to avoid overwhelm.✅ For Processing Anger/Grief: Acceptance doesn't mean you like what happened. It means you stop fighting reality so you can move forward.Chapters00:00 Choosing Resilience Over Pity02:55 The Journey of Recovery and Resilience05:49 Aiming Small: The Path to Progress08:56 The Importance of Small Wins11:58 Building Resilience Through Consistency15:10 The Process Over the Product17:52 Mindset Shifts and Neuroplasticity20:55 Radical Acceptance and Emotional Growth23:47 Self-Advocacy and Boundaries26:58 The Power of Perspective30:10 Humanity First: A New Approach to Care33:00 Connecting with Dan MacQueenConnect with Dan:Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dan MacQueen⁠Social Media: @MacQueenDan - ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠LinkedIn⁠ | ⁠YouTube⁠ | ⁠X