Grief Out Loud

What does grief look like when you lose your wife, two daughters, your home, and nearly everything you own - all in a single night? In this episode we talk with Michael Reed, a husband, father, and author whose life was forever changed when a wildfire swept through his community, taking the lives of his wife Constance, his older daughter Chloe, his youngest, Lily, their pets, and reducing their home to ashes. Nearly a decade later, Michael shares about the darkness he fell into, who was there to hold him and his son up, the ways he stays connected to his wife and daughters, and how he's re-engaged with life through writing and helping others. Michael Reed is the author of The Million Stages of Grief, a self-published book born from years of middle-of-the-night writing as he tried to make sense of catastrophic loss. He also became an unexpected public face of his community's tragedy - a role he has since transformed into a mission of talking openly about grief, faith, and learning to live again. In this episode: Michael shares vivid memories of his daughters: Chloe's extraordinary compassion and Lily's unforgettable sass and spirit. What it's like to lose not only the people you love but every physical trace of them - and how Michael keeps their memory close without tangible reminders. How his son Nicholas became a teacher for Michael in how to grieve. His experience with EMDR therapy and what acceptance means to him. The origin of The Million Stages of Grief: how raw, unedited Facebook posts led to a blog, then to a self-published book. Why the five stages of grief didn't work for Michael - and how he came to understand that grief can move through a million stages in a single day. A raw, honest account of his anger at God after the fire. What it was like to become the unwilling public spokesperson for a community's tragedy, and how he has reclaimed that platform on his own terms. His core message: loss is loss, no matter who or what you've lost — and using your own hurt to help others is how we change the world. Connect with Michael: Website - https://themillionstages.com/ Books - https://themillionstages.com/books IG - https://www.instagram.com/reedstrong2020 Transcript Want to learn more about supporting children and teens who are grieving? Sign up for our online courses here: https://classes.dougy.org/

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with death & grief care professional, educator, and cultural advocate Joél Simone, also known as The Grave Woman. Joél shares the story behind a childhood drawing that declared her future as "the grave woman," and how that early curiosity about death grew into a lifelong vocation in funeral service, grief education, and cultural competency. Drawing from decades of experience, Joél reflects on the spiritual, cultural, and embodied dimensions of grief, including what she's learned by listening closely to families, children, and traditions that are too often overlooked. Joél also talks about her work as founder of the Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy, including immersive learning experiences that center history, ritual, land, and lineage. Throughout the conversation, she invites us to rethink what ritual looks like and how tending to culture can provide grounding and support for grief. We discuss: How rituals - inherited and improvised - can be a form of medicine What the funeral industry still needs to understand about serving Black and African American families The importance of cultural humility, proactive learning, and not treating communities as monoliths How children experience death and mourning from their literal, physical perspective and what adults often miss The role of land, ancestry, and cultural preservation in grief, particularly within Gullah Geechee communities Why culture itself can be a powerful container for grief and remembrance Connect with Joél Simone: Website: www.thegravewoman.com The Multicultural Death & Grief Care Academy Workshops & Classes The Death & Grief Talk Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/thegravewoman Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegravewoman/

When Matt Fogelson's father died of lung cancer during his senior year of college, he turned to music to express what words couldn't - rage, self-loathing, and grief so profound he didn't know where to put it. In this conversation, Matt - author of the new memoir Restrung - talks about the silence that surrounded his father's terminal illness, the vacuum left by an absent but beloved parent, and how grunge music (especially Soundgarden and Pearl Jam) created space for him to feel what was hard to put into words. Matt shares how his Aunt Wendy became his unlikely guide, why he wore his father's suits to work for years trying to feel close to him, and the breakthrough moment when Pearl Jam's "Release" helped him shift his relationship with his father's memory and his grief. We also discuss how grief shaped his approach to parenting, why he sang a Grateful Dead song to his son every night for 14 years, and the three songs he wishes he could share with his father now. Resources Matt's memoir Restrung (released February 3, 2026) Matt's Substack and music blog (Fine Tuning) More at dougy.org Grief Out Loud is a production of Dougy Center, the National Grief Center for Children and Families.

When Christina Babich's partner, Alex, died suddenly from a brain aneurysm while they were visiting his family in Italy, her world shattered in more ways than one. In addition to the grief of losing the person she loved and the future they were building together, Christina was also left to navigate the aftermath of a deeply traumatic event - one that profoundly impacted her nervous system, sense of safety, and identity. In this episode, Christina shares what it was like to grieve a sudden, "out-of-order" death while also navigating the derealization, hypervigilance, and other ways the trauma of his death affected her. She talks about how being a "quasi widow" shaped the care and recognition she received and why platitudes about resilience and post-traumatic growth can sometimes feel alienating rather than supportive. Christina also reflects on how her personal experience shaped her work as a psychologist specializing in grief and trauma, including the role of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), the pressure placed on people who are grieving to "transform" their pain, and the importance of being witnessed by someone who truly understands. We discuss The difference between grief and trauma - and how they often coexist Derealization, PTSD, and nervous system responses after a sudden death What Christina means by "quasi-widow" Why platitudes about strength and growth can feel harmful How Cognitive Processing Therapy was helpful for her Grieving lost identities, futures, and imagined lives Finding connection with others who can relate Living day-to-day when the future feels overwhelming Connect with Christina Website: https://www.christinababich.com/ Substack: christinababich.substack.com

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, we talk with Adell Coleman about her mother who was killed when Adell was just 24 years old. Adell reflects on the closeness of their relationship and how her mom's death radically shifted her sense of safety in the world. She shares how the circumstances around her mother's death, including being the person who found her, has made it difficult to remember how her mom lived, without reliving how she died. Adell also talks about what it's been like raising two daughters who never met their grandmother, but somehow carry her presence in surprising and meaningful ways. She reflects on anniversaries 14 years later, the exhaustion of grief, and how becoming the family "grief expert" interrupted her capacity to engage with her own grief. The conversation closes with Adell describing how community, therapy, boundaries, and creative work - including her documentary and podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love - have helped her find language, connection, and space for her grief. We discuss Losing a mother in young adulthood and feeling "not ready" to be an adult How violent death and trauma impact grief and memory The challenge of accessing good memories when you are dealing with traumatic imagery Parenting while grieving and helping children connect with a grandparent they never met Anniversaries, emotional exhaustion, and grief over time Becoming the family "grief expert" and having to put off personal grief Finding community after loss and why the right support can take time Creating meaning through storytelling, connection, and creative projects Adell's documentary and her new podcast, Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love Connect with Adell Instagram: @iamadellcoleman Podcast: Echoes of Her Threads: @iamadellcoleman Documentary: Echoes of Her: To Mom With Love Substack: On My Momma